13 Pet Peeves

I’m sure I have many more than 13 pet peeves, but these are the ones that came to me off the top of my head. Happy Thursday Thirteen!!

1. People who hang up the phone without saying good-bye – My brother says, “I have to go.” Click. I was on the phone with my neighbor yesterday (Not Stalker Betty, but Crazy Donna), and she said, “Take care.” Click. Don’t people say good-bye, bye, bye-bye. I’d take any of those!

2. Men who don’t change diapers – I have actually met women who can’t be away from the house that long because their husbands refuse to change diapers. I can’t believe these women don’t leave these self-centered Neanderthals. I truly believe there is a special place in hell for men who don’t change diapers.

3. Mock apple pie – a pie made out of soggy crackers. WTF?

4. Boobahs and Teletubbies – I know I have mentioned in previous blogs how much I despise these evil characters and want them to die a slow, painful death. It’s worth mentioning again.

5. People who forget to eat – Yes. I have come into contact with a person who said, “I was so busy, I just forgot to eat!” I often forget my age, and there have been times I have forgotten my children’s names, but forgetting to eat? Are you freaking kidding me? You have to be a special kind of stupid for that one.

6. Middle of the night cat gack – My cat’s favorite time to have a hairball is around 2:00 – 3:00 a.m. He strategically gacks it up near a doorway, so I can step in it when I get up to check on my daughter or go to the bathroom. Cat gack between your toes is a very unpleasant feeling, especially in the middle of the night.

7. Men who say, “What’s wrong with you? Is it that time of the month?” Or worse – “Are you on the rag?” Any man who says this is taking his life into his own hands because that is grounds for justifiable homicide.

8. Markers that stain – Just spend the extra money and get Crayola markers. The cheap ones stain clothes and faces. Children don’t enjoy getting a rubdown with nail polish remover to get marker off their faces.

9. People who give Eli the eye. Yes, I know my son has quite an imagination, and bops to the beat of his own 4-year-old drummer. Sometimes, this entails him dancing down the hall in full-bodied dance spasms. But I don’t like people giving him the eye that says, “Look at the weird kid.” He’s four! He’s creative! Even if he does often act like Stuart from Mad TV. (If any of you don’t know who that is, please enjoy the video clip below.)

10. Dead people in commercials. I love Audrey Hepburn, but I do not need to see her selling pants for the freaking Gap!!!

11. Children at R-rated movies – I would have enjoyed The Ring much more if the woman in front of me hadn’t decided to bring her 7-year-old and 4-year-old with her. Did she think the fact that there were children in the movie made it a family film?!

12. People who don’t RSVP. If I have any sort of a gathering that requires an RSVP, the people that refuse to do so, owe me the money for their share of the food.

13. A bed made incorrectly. Yes, this is part of my OCD. After 12 ½ years of marriage, my husband finally learned the right way to make a bed. They’re called hospital corners. It’s not that difficult!