Friday, November 30, 2007

Click and Shop

I do not like to shop. Maybe I'm the anti-woman, but seriously, if I have to be in the mall for a long period of time, I start to hyperventilate. I don't like all the people. I don't like sales pressure, and I don't like spending money I don't have on things I don't need (which I always manage to do).

What's worse is spending hours searching for something and not buying anything at all.
When online shopping was invented, I fell to my knees and gave thanks. Woo hoo! Anything to keep me out of the mall at the holidays. I live two minutes from the mall, and at this time of the year, there are actually policemen there directing traffic. It's crazy.

In fact, I have almost all of my shopping done, and I have managed to do it all online except for one brief trip to Target. Eric is getting into the online spirit, too, except he has discovered a slight glitch.

All packages are delivered during the day when I am home and he is not. I don't open anything, but the problem is that companies are very proud of their products and the boxes say exactly what they are. Dude! I'm trying, but I can't ignore a box that says "Canon Digital Camera" with a picture on the side. (I'm very excited about that gift, by the way!)

When I called Eric and said, "A new camera with a printer?! Thank you!!" His response was something I can't repeat here. He was not happy. He finally decided that if I only knew one of my presents, it wasn't a big deal.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the end of things. I had talked about how much I wanted a nice espresso machine. My thought is that I could really cut down the cost of my Starbucks trips if I had the machine and all the syrups to make my drinks at home. Right?

So last week, guess what package arrived? "Ghiradelli Flavored Syrups" Woo hoo! That means I am getting my espresso machine. Eric was pissed. I am thrilled! Merry Christmas to me!

Now, I really have to finish my shopping. A few more point and clicks, and I'm almost done.

Incidentally, if anyone wants to buy some great gifts online, be sure to check out The Wren's Nest, owned and operated by my friend Morgen of It's A Blog Eat Blog World. He has some awesome products and super great prices. It's the perfect online spot for the perfect gift. Click below to visit The Wren's Nest now, or click on the icon in my sidebar to the right. Happy shopping!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

13 Great Family Christmas Specials

1. Charlie Brown Christmas (1965) – A true classic. It wouldn’t be Christmas without Charlie Brown.

2. Frosty the Snowman (1969) – Jimmy Durante narrates one of the best Christmas stories of all time.

3. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) – Dr. Seuss’s timeless classic – and I don’t just love it because my daughter looks like Cindy Lou Who.

4. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) – Gotta love the stop motion animation! My kids love the book, and I really hope Eli is old enough this year to get into the TV special.

5. The Year Without Santa Claus (1974) – Santa Claus suffering from depression. Gotta love the 70’s.

6. Twas the Night Before Christmas (1974) – ‘74 was a good year for Christmas specials. And I love this one because come on – there’s nothing more fun than a vengeful Santa, who gets pissed off when he thinks a town doesn’t believe in him.

7. Santa Claus Is Coming To Town (1970) - This is one of my favorites, narrated by Fred Astaire. It shares the story of how Santa Claus and other Claus-related Christmas traditions came to be.

8. The Little Drummer Boy (1968) – Another Rankin Bass TV special, yet this one actually has to do with Baby Jesus rather than Santa – imagine that!

9. Jack Frost (1979) – This claymation special tells the story of Jack Frost, the immortal winter sprite, and his adventures as a human.

10. Rudolph’s Shiny New Year (1976) – This sequel to Rudolph is a good one, though not shown as much. Rudolph helps Father Time save the New Year.

11. The Polar Express (2004) – A beautiful book and amazing movie for children of all ages.

12. A Muppet Family Christmas (1987) – The Muppet gang teams with the Sesame Street cast for a great Christmas special with some awesome holiday tunes.

13. Elmo Saves Christmas (1996) – Eli watched tis over and over and over last year, so I know it by heart. It’s a very sweet special of what happens when Elmo wishes that it were Christmas every day.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Am I Too Old For A Fist Fight?

I have decided that the phone nurse at my doctor’s office is evil to the core. Seriously. After our conversation today, I believe this woman has no soul. Isn’t it a nurse’s job to help patients?

When I called for antibiotics this morning, she wouldn’t even ask the doctor to prescribe them without seeing me first. (I was trying to get around an office visit since my children tend to veer toward the realm of crazy when I take them out in public.) When I asked this evil whore woman when I could come in, she said, “We don’t have any appointments available.”

Me: “So you can’t call in a prescription without seeing me, and you don’t have any office visits available?”
Her: “Well if you’re that bad, why don’t you go to urgent care?”

Oh no, she didn’t!!

I have now decided that I need to make an invention – one where I can reach through the phone line and bitch slap the person on the other end of it. Dude, as if I’m not having a hard enough day trying to entertain two bored children without leaving the house because I am sick, but now some bitch-ass nurse at the doctor’s office wants to rumble?

Then the woman all but hung up on me – yes really. I asked her to check with the doctor about the prescription and she sighed loudly and said “Fine” and hung up. She never called back.

I was going to call the office manager to complain, but instead I called scheduling to make an appointment with my doctor, who can get me in Wednesday morning. I think this whole nurse issue is a situation I need to deal with in person. And I plan to take my can of whoop-ass with me.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Manic Monday - Rank

This week’s Manic Monday word is Rank. The first thought that came to my mind was some of the rank diapers I have changed over the past few years. But since many of you vividly remember the picture of green diaper poo I posted on my blog a few months ago, I thought I would go in a different direction.

After a long holiday, I thought I would rank some of the important events (good and bad) of my Thanksgiving weekend. Here we go:

1. I made the best freaking Chocolate Bourbon Pecan Pie EVER!

2. I caught a horrific cold from my son, and now have no sense of smell.

3. The upside to that is that I have been unable to smell Georgia’s rank diapers.

4. The downside to that is that the poor girl is developing diaper rash because I can’t smell when to change her.

5. I discovered that despite having anti-oxidants, red wine unfortunately does not cure a cold.

6. Despite being sick, I wasn’t about to pass up a date night opportunity with my husband.

7. My husband felt sorry for me since I didn’t feel good and agreed to see a chick flick.

8. We saw Enchanted – loved it!

9. There is no sale big enough to force me to go to a mall on Black Friday.

10. A pony tail on a two-year-old is way too tempting for her older brother to ignore.

11. My daughter prefers eating cat food to my cooking.

12. I got a great family picture!

Friday, November 23, 2007

Georgia on YouTube

I have been attempting for so long to capture Georgia on video singing because it's too cute. The problem is that every time I pull out the camera, she stops what she's doing and says "CHEESE!" even if it's a video camera.

I was so happy this week because I thought I got a little bit of her singing. Eric said, "Ummm, that's YOU singing. Georgia's just playing piano." Well, f*#* it! I decided to post it anyway.

I hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving!!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

13 Things I'm Thankful For

1. Starbucks – Coffee in general really, but since I’m loving the egg nog lattes and the peppermint white chocolate mochas (!!), I’m going with Starbucks.

2. Spot remover – It’s sad what my kids do to my carpet. Thank God for spot remover.

3. Rachael Ray – Do you know how many recipes I have stolen from this woman over the last year? Love her!

4. Sleep – Both mine and my children’s. I listen to horror stories of my friends who are up all night with their babies, and I am thankful that my children are at an age where they sleep through the night. Woo hoo!

5. Triaminic Strips – Eli has had a cold this week, and those things are a godsend – they melt right on his tongue.

6. Noggin – Anything that maintains my children’s attention long enough that I can clean the bathroom is a definite winner!

7. Peanut Butter Cookie Crisp – The best breakfast cereal ever!

8. Project Runway – What would Wednesday nights be without Tim Gunn and Heidi Klum? Make it work, people!

9. ebay – Where else can I buy eight pairs of jeans for my son (in a size 5 slim) for $25?!!

10. Stretchy jeans- This may be the greatest invention ever – particularly on Thanksgiving.

11. Stemless wineglasses – I am horrible at knocking over wineglasses. I have much better luck with these. Yea, Crate & Barrel!

12. Tylenol PM – Since I drink so much caffeine (see #1), this is about the only thing that gets me to sleep most nights.

13. Whole Foods – I love that flipping store! From their sweet potato fries, to their organic chocolate truffles, everything in that place is an indulgence.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Who is that scary-ass man?

It’s that time once again – time for the kids to visit Santa for the annual holiday picture. I was so tired of past years when we have had to wait in line forever and listen to bitchy elves barking orders at us only to have Georgia scream her head off when she sees Santa.

This year, I decided to go early. I figured if nothing else, if we went before Thanksgiving, Santa wouldn’t be busy yet, and maybe we wouldn’t have to stand in line. That would alleviate at least be one part of the hassle.

On Sunday, we took the kids when the mall opened at 11 a.m. to see Santa and snap the annual photo. I was thrilled when I saw there actually wasn’t a line.

We twisted around the maze to get to Santa, and Eli – who had been chattering away in the car about the millions of items he wanted for Christmas – clammed up. Georgia took one look at Santa and wrapped her arms in a death grip around my neck, screaming, “NOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOO! I DON’T LIKE IT! NOOOOO!” Well, crap.

Eric and the elves who take the photo were looking at me like, “It doesn’t look like she’s going to sit on Santa’s lap.” Oh, you wanna freakin bet? I came here to get a picture of the kids with Santa and that’s what I’m going to do. I pried her little arms off of my neck and sat her on Santa’s lap. By the scream she gave, you would have thought I was selling her into slave labor. (Yes, I’m horrible, but dammit, I wanted my Santa picture.)

I looked at the photo elf and said, “Take the picture. Now. I don’t care if she’s screaming.” That in itself was hard enough because Georgia was covering her sobbing face trying not to look at Santa. But we did finally get a picture. (I know you desperately want to see it, but that is this week’s Wordless Wednesday, so you’ll have to come back tomorrow.)

The elves were getting annoyed with me because I wanted them to snap more shots. In every photo where you could see Georgia’s face, Eli was making a weird face. Dude! This was not going well.

Finally, I took my screaming daughter from Santa and then just tried to get Eli to talk. I said, “Eli, did you ask Santa what kind of cookies we should make him for Christmas Eve?” Eli said nothing, and at that point, there was a line forming behind us. People were looking annoyed.

Oh fine. I took the kids and got my picture. As I was waiting on the picture, I looked at the three kids who were up next. They sat right down on Santa’s lap and put on big smiles for the camera. The little bastards.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Manic Monday - Relish

This week’s Manic Monday word is Relish. Since I am not a fan of relish the food, let’s see if I can employ this word in a different story.

This weekend, we took the kids to see Go, Diego, Go Live! The Great Jaguar Rescue. Now, I have told you all the tales of my daughter’s tantrums, so you can imagine that when my husband came to me and told me he had bought tickets for us to take the kids to a live show, I did not relish the thought.

Eric assured me it would be fine (yeah, because I’m the one that would be out in the lobby with the screaming girl). Anyway, Saturday was the big day, so we loaded up the kids and headed for the Music Hall in downtown Kansas City. After we paid our $7 parking (!!), we created a backup of people as Georgia had to hop up the stairs to the theatre.

Then we found our seats, and I saw that my loving husband had purchased box seats. Oh, praise the Lord! That meant there were only four other people in our box to hear us in case there was an issue.

Luckily, the kids are soooo into Diego and Dora that we didn’t have much of a situation. Georgia seemed to develop an instant dislike to the child in front of us and kept telling him to “GO AWAY!” But other than that, she took so much relish in the fact that she was seeing Diego Live! that when the music started, she was literally vibrating on my lap with excitement.

Oh yes, she did sit on my lap the entire time, as I knew she would. Unfortunately, we still had to purchase a ticket for her, so Eric let his annoyance be known at the fact that we purchased a $30 seat for our coats.

As soon as the show started, they told the kids to get up and practice their jaguar jumps. I thought they were trying to sabotage me, because once Georgia was up, it was difficult to get her seated again. Luckily my off-key singing calms her, and I know all the words to the Diego songs.

Speaking of which, am I the only one that thinks these songs are catchy? As I was belting out “Vamos Diego vamos! Al rescate, amigo. To the rescue my friend!” I noticed that I was the only parent who was singing along. Hmmm. What’s up with that?!

After the show was over, both kids were happy and exhausted. Apparently the letdown from that Diego high is a doozy. Eric was so happy that he’s already planning our next live show with the kids. And I might even consider taking Georgia to a movie. Do I dare?

Friday, November 16, 2007

Thanksgiving on a Stick

As Thanksgiving approaches, Eli’s class has been talking about the holiday a lot in preschool. The other day, his class made Thanksgiving decorations, and on their decorations, each student stated what they were thankful for. Yesterday, all the decorations were up in the hall. I started reading them, and many of the kids said things like, “I’m thankful for my mom.” or "I’m thankful for hugs from mommy.”

Then I got to Eli’s. His said, “I’m thankful for maps.” *sigh* Maps? Seriously? I looked over at a woman who was reading the decorations for the 3-year-old classroom. She looked equally bewildered. She said, “My son is thankful for the carpet cleaner guy.” HA!

When we got home from preschool, I was looking over the list for my Thanksgiving menu. Last year, everyone hated my pumpkin muffin stuffin. So, this year, I thought I would go with more of a cornbread stuffing. I found a great recipe. It takes chopped apples and walnuts in the dressing. After last year, I thought I should okay my ideas by my dinner guests.

So I called my dad. I asked if he would eat cornbread stuffing if I put apples and walnuts in it. Long pause. Then he said, “I don’t know why you would want to do that.” Dude! At this point, I may order Chinese takeout.

Except for the pie. That’s one thing I never get wrong. And this year, I found an awesome recipe for a Chocolate Bourbon Pecan Pie! Oh yeah, baby! I can’t wait to try this one! Are you ready? Here it is!

Chocolate Bourbon Pecan Pie

· 1 (9 inch) pie shell
· 1 cup white sugar
· 1 cup light corn syrup
· 1/2 cup butter
· 4 eggs, beaten
· 1/4 cup bourbon
· 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
· 1/4 teaspoon salt
· 6 ounces semisweet chocolate chips
· 1 cup chopped pecans

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees F).
2. In a small saucepan combine sugar, corn syrup, and butter or margarine. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until butter or margarine melts and sugar dissolves. Cool slightly.
3. In a large bowl combine eggs, bourbon, vanilla, and salt. Mix well. Slowly pour sugar mixture into egg mixture, whisking constantly. Stir in chocolate chips and pecans. Pour mixture into pie shell.
4. Bake in preheated oven for 50 to 55 minutes, or until set and golden. May be served warm or chilled.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

My 13 Favorite Yankee Candle Scents

Yes, I have an addiction. I am addicted to Yankee candles! I love the damn things, and I have them all over the house. Some of the scents smell so good they’re down right orgasmic. These are a few of my favorites!

1. Spiced Pumpkin – My absolute favorite candle. Ever!

2. Hydrangea – This really smells exactly like hydrangeas. Love it!

3. Buttercream – Dude! Wedding cake frosting!

4. Golden Spiced Pear – It smells like I’m baking a fruit pie.

5. Autumn Wreath – A great combo of fall scents.

6. Witches Brew (Patchouli) – Eric’s absolute favorite scent!

7. Farmhouse Apple – Okay, anything that smells like I’m baking a pie is a winner.

8. Gingerbread – I can’t bake gingerbread cookies, but this smells like I am.

9. Sweet Honeysuckle – A very light scent. Great for summer!

10. Sage & Citrus – This one is a very interesting combination.

11. Lilac Blossoms – Besides hydrangea, this is the only other floral scent I like.

12. Country Linen – Why does the smell of clean laundry turn me on? Is that weird?

13. Jack Frost – Great peppermint-scented candle – perfect at Christmas time.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Sleep Deprivation

I don’t ever remember an age when I didn’t want to sleep if I had the chance. Maybe that’s why it bewilders me when I tell my children, “It’s nap time.” And their response is “Noooooooooo! I’m not tiiiiiiiiiired!!!!” And then they run screaming.

Dude! If someone told me it was naptime – Woo hoo! Today, I think I’m just slightly delusional because I didn’t sleep last night. Do you ever have one of those nights where no matter how many sheep you count or how much Tylenol PM you take, you CANNOT get to sleep?!

Today, I thought if I could just get the kids to take a nap, maybe I could take one too. (I’ll pause for a moment so everyone can laugh.) I really thought I had Eli worn out. He looked very drowsy, and I parked him in front of a Spongebob marathon on Nick Jr. Then I put Georgia down. As soon as she fell asleep, I was going to lie down.

Unfortunately, she had other ideas. I could hear her talking, counting, singing, clapping – everything except falling asleep. Finally, I poked my head in her room and smelled the unmistakable scent. I asked, “Georgia, did you poop?” She said, “Nooooooooo!” Uh-huh. That’s her answer to everything no matter what the question.

After changing her, I put her back down. Then she started screaming for her Backyardigans book, so I brought her a book. Then she screamed for milk. So I brought her milk. Then she screamed for a Dora book. Altogether, it took me two hours to get her to sleep!

By this time, it was almost time for Eric to get home from work, but I thought maybe I could still get about 30 minutes of shuteye. I went to lie down in my bed, and there came Eli bounding down the hall.

Eli: Mama! Have you seen my two quarters?
Me: They’re on the kitchen counter by the microwave.

Eli bounded off to the kitchen. Two minutes, here he came again.

Eli: Mama! Can we make caramel apples?
Me: Maybe when daddy gets home.

Off he goes. Two minutes later –

Eli: Mama! When you get up, can we play Hungry Hungry Hippos?
Me: Yes! But you have to leave me alone for just a few minutes first.

Two minutes later –

Eli: Mama! Can I have a piece of candy?
Me: NO!

Two minutes later –

Eli: Mama! For Christmas, I’m going to get you the thing that teaches you to dance like Hannah Montana. It even has a wig you can wear!

At that point, I just got up. Maybe I’ll get a nap tomorrow.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Manic Monday - Gravy

This week’s Manic Monday word is gravy. Oh, I was sooooo drawing a blank on this one. This weekend, I was working on my Thanksgiving menu, but I never include gravy because my gravy sucks! Seriously. My mom used to make gravy that made me want to drink it out of the bowl with a straw. Unfortunately, I did not inherit that talent.

Therefore, I went to IMDB, and decided to list a few TV and movie quotes about gravy. I was actually surprised there were so many. Here are some good ones!

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988)
Mike Nelson: “Get the holy drippings and make the sacred gravy.”

101 Dalmations: (1997)
Lucky: “Can’t we watch something besides the gravy channel?”

M.A.S.H. (1972)
Hawkeye: “The gravy was better than usual tonight . . . you could cut it with a fork.”

The Simpsons
Dr. Hibbert: “Well, your cholesterol level is lethally high, Homer, but I’m more concerned about your gravy level.”

The Simpsons
Homer Simpson: “Now, wait a second. You doctors have been telling us to drink eight glasses of gravy a day!”

Whose Line Is It Anyway? (1998)
Kathy Kinney: “I’m Gravy Spice!”

A Christmas Story (1983)
Ralphie as adult (narrating): “The heavenly aroma still hung in the house. But it was gone, all gone! No turkey! No turkey sandwiches! No turkey salad! No turkey gravy! Turkey Hash! Turkey a la King! Or gallons of turkey soup! Gone, ALL GONE!”

Ghost Rider (2007)

Mack: “We were on the gravy train with biscuit wheels before you showed up.”

Head (1968)
Davy Jones: “And, uh, I’d like a glass of cold gravy with a hair in it, please.”

Kingpin (1996)
Ernie McCracken: “You’re on a gravy train with biscuit wheels.”

Kissin’ Cousins (1964)
Ma Tatum: “Aw shucks, it ain’t nothing but possum tails, owl gizzards, and grits fried in bear grease. And then that there gravy, that’s just goat’s milk with vulture eggs and mashed catfish eyes.”

Love and Death (1975)
Boris (after being grazed by bullet): “Does this come out, from dry cleaning, or is it like gravy?”

Never Give a Sucker an Even Break (1941)
Waitress: “You’re as funny as a cry for help! You also pulled that old gag about breaking your fork in the gravy!”

Friday, November 09, 2007

My Pedicure

My son continues to amuse me daily. He loves to go swimming at the community center, and we try to take him at least once a week. Early this week, he was constantly asking me if we could go swimming.

I told him that I couldn’t go swimming, but maybe daddy would take him swimming when he got home. Eli was annoyed, and kept asking why I couldn’t go swimming. Exasperated, I said, “Because I’m on my period, and I don’t like to go swimming when I’m on my period.” He paused and just said, “Oh. Okay.”

He didn’t mention it again for the rest of the afternoon. Fast forward three hours later to when Eric got home from work. Eli runs up to him and says, “Daddy, will you take me swimming tonight? Mama says she can’t go because she’s on her pedicure.”

Eric came to me looking very confused. As soon as I was able to stop laughing and catch my breath, I explained my ‘pedicure’ situation.

Eli seemed very confused about why his parents were doubled over with laughter.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

13 Items I Bought This Week That I Didn’t Need

1. Egg Nog Latte – Just when I’m doing really well at cutting down on Starbucks, here come the holiday drinks. How can I drive by without stopping for an egg nog latte? I need restraint.

2. Caramel Truffles – After all the Halloween candy, the last thing we needed was more chocolate. Yet, I walked into Whole Foods yesterday, and their holiday truffles were out. This year, they have caramel truffles. Kill me now.

3. Pirate’s Booty – Whole Foods had Pirate’s Booty on sale - 2 bags for $1.99. They practically jumped in my cart. The only problem is that they put crack in this stuff. If I sit down with a bag, and it’s gone in seconds.

4. Pumpkin Scented Candle – I was down to a six-month supply on candles, so you can see why I needed this. I didn’t have one that quite smelled like a freshly baked pumpkin pie.

5. Pull-ups – I thought these would go hand and hand with the Dora potty. Georgia thinks differently. She will not wear the pull-ups. In fact, she will run naked around the house until I show her that the only thing I am putting on her naked bottom is her regular diaper with the picture of Blue on it.

6. Honeyroasted sunflower seeds – Damn Whole Foods to hell!

7. Leftover Halloween candy – Okay, we have buckets full of Halloween candy, but we didn’t have any Heath bars . . . . or Take 5 bars. We do now.

8. Pantene shampoo and conditioner – Not my fault. Georgia threw it in my cart, and I paid for it before I noticed. Gaaaa!

9. More white wine – Okay, scratch that one. After potty training my daughter, this one falls in the “need” category.

10. Paddle brush – When you’re attempting to straighten curly hair, you need to blow dry with a paddle brush. Eric doesn’t get why my other (round) brush won’t work for that. So this one is a debated need. Of course, then he argues that I don’t “need” to straighten my hair. Dude.

11. Everything in the Nog family – In our house, we now have regular egg nog, pumpkin flavored egg nog and milk nog. Not only that, but I had to restrain myself from buying the apple spice flavored nog. See - clearly, I’m not insane.

12. Yogurt – I don’t particularly like yogurt, yet I buy it with the good intention of eating it, then it sits in the refrigerator until it passes its expiration date, I throw it away, and I buy more. Okay, maybe I am crazy.

13. Fur-lined Crocs for Georgia – The only shoes Georgia has wanted to wear since March were her Crocs. Since it was getting cold, I spent $30 (much to Eric’s chagrin) and bought her fur-lined Crocs. She hates them with a passion. When I attempt to put them on her, she kicks them off and screams so loud that she could shatter glass.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

The Dora Potty

It’s that joyous time once again – none other than potty training. This is the most torturous thing a parent can go through with a 2-year-old. We decided it was about time to take this step with Georgia.

So far when I have talked about the potty, she has just looked at me like I am a crazy person. That is until I showed her the Dora potty. Ta Da!!! When I showed her a picture of this, she started jumping up and down. “PEE PEE DORA POTTY! PEE PEE DORA POTTY!”

Woo hoo! Could it really be this easy? I went to Babies R Us on Thursday afternoon and we bought the Dora Potty. On Friday morning, I had it all set up and ready to go. As soon as Georgia saw it, her pants were off. “PEE PEE DORA POTTY!” She sat and sat and sat. We sang songs. And then she got up and stood right in front of the potty and peed on the floor. She pointed down and happily proclaimed, “I PEED!”

I tried to explain how we go pee IN the potty, not BY the potty. She still seemed interested. A large part of the day, all she wanted to do was sit on her Dora potty. Yet every time she had to pee, she would get up and stand in front of the potty and pee on the floor. *sigh*

On Saturday, Eric tried with her. Same thing. On the floor. I still had hopes because at least over the weekend, she still wanted to sit on the potty. This morning, when she woke up, I took her into the bathroom first thing and asked, “Do we want to try to go pee in the Dora potty?”

She very happily looked at me and in a sing song voice said, “Nooooooo, Mama!” And that was it. So ends stage one of Georgia’s potty training. Next up – the sticker chart.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Manic Monday - Earth

This week’s Manic Monday word is earth. I have a feeling that as I cruise around the blogosphere today, many others are going to be going green with this one. I am reminded of something that happened on Friday that had me thinking about earth quite literally.

On Friday afternoon, I was attempting to watch Days of Our Lives while the children were in the backyard playing. I was sitting by the window watching them and kept running outside every time there was screaming. Needless to say, I was getting my exercise.

For awhile, the children seemed quite content, as they were working intently on what I call the “mud pit.” There’s a spot in the backyard where they just like to dig. I think they’re trying to dig a tunnel to escape, but I digress.

They were being way too quiet, which causes more concern than the fighting. When they’re being too quiet, that’s when you know they’re up to something. They both had their backs to me so I couldn’t exactly see what they were doing out the window, so I went outside.

When I got closer, I could see that Eli was looking at Georgia and giggling. Georgia was making a loud “YUM YUM YUM” sound. I said, “Georgia, what are you doing?”

She turned around and smiled. Her mouth and her little teeth were covered in mud. Oh yeah! She was shoveling mud pies in her mouth like they were made of chocolate. The front of her clothes, her hands, her face and her mouth were covered with mud. And she was laughing.

Sweet Lord. I am certainly glad my children enjoy playing in the earth, but I wish they would refrain from eating it.

One bath later, Georgia was still very happy. And not hungry for lunch. I suppose a little mud never hurt anyone.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Yeow! Hot Wax!

I was getting my hair done the other night when my stylist and I got on the subject of waxing. I was pleased to say that I have never had anything waxed. My stylist was astonished. “Surely you’ve had your eyebrows waxed!” Nope.

This led to a very intense study of my eyebrows. Okay, my eyebrows are so damn light you can barely see them, so why would I want to wax the damn things. As a solution, she offered to color them at no additional charge. That peaked my interest. Color my eyebrows? I have never heard of such a thing! Plus, I love to color my hair. Eyebrows just opens up a whole new arena!

Of course, my stylist then told me if I color them, I had to wax them. Dude! I don’t want anything waxed! Plus, she charges $15 for that. No way! So, she offered to do that for free, too. Did someone say “free” again? I can never turn that down.

So there I was, leaning back with my eyes closed, getting hot wax smeared on my lids, trying to figure out exactly how that happened. I was also vividly remembering that scene in 40-Year-Old Virgin. You know the scene I’m talking about!

I asked if this was going to hurt. My stylist said, “Oh no, it doesn’t hurt at” Riiiip “all.”

YOW! Mother F*ck!! Um, YES IT DOES!

Okay, that was not a fun experience. Not to mention, I have sensitive skin. You all may have noticed how fair my skin is. It didn’t take well to this newfound trauma. My stylist said there was supposed to be redness. But when I looked in the mirror when she was done, my eyes were puffing up like I was just in a bar fight. I said, “Ummm, are they supposed to swell up like this?”

She said, “There’s usually not any swelling.” Then she looked at me. “Omigod, you’re swelling!”


Well, at least it was free. When I got home, I put frozen peas on my eyes until the swelling went down. I can definitely say that my eyebrows were more noticeable. I’m not quite sure if it’s because they’re darker, because half of them are gone, or because the redness and swelling make them stand out. Either way, I don’t know that I’ll be doing that again.