Friday, September 28, 2007

Early Morning Thirst

It’s official. The children are trying to drive me insane. You read yesterday about how difficult they try to make meal time. This morning at breakfast, it only got worse.

Preschool mornings are always rushed because I have to do my force feeding and food debate in double time so I can get them out the door. This morning when Eli woke up, he wanted chocolate chip pancakes.

There were two left, so I heated them up and put them in front of him. He ate one, and went to get a pop. He desperately wanted pop, and refused milk, juice, water or anything else to drink. We went back and forth on the pop until finally I said, “FINE!” I opened it for him and set it in front of him. Then he looked at me and said, “Well, I changed my mind. I don’t want it right now.”

I looked at him in disbelief. I was expecting Allen Funt to walk out from behind my refrigerator. I said, “Are you freaking kidding me?!” Eli just stared at me. Then he got down and went to brush his teeth.

Next, it was Georgia’s turn to eat breakfast. I gave her the pancake Eli didn’t eat – the last one. Eli walked in, and when he saw that I had given Georgia the only remaining pancake, he flipped out – even though he wasn’t planning to eat it. He said, “I WAS SAVING IT FOR LATER!”

Dude, I so don’t need this first thing in the morning. Luckily Georgia wasn’t interested in eating anyway, so she didn’t care when Eli took the pancake and shoved it in his mouth whole. So now Georgia hadn’t eaten anything, and they were both still refusing to drink anything. And we were running late.

I got shoes on everybody, and grabbed all our stuff. Just as I was locking the door, and we were all ready to run out, Eli looked at me and said, “But Mama, I’m thirsty!” And Georgia echoed, “Thirsty!”

GAAAA!!! They’re going to drive me over the edge, I tell you!!

Needless to say, we were late for preschool.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

13 Things I Said To My Son When Trying To Get Him To Eat Dinner

As many of you may know, my 5-year-old son barely eats. I'm not quite sure how he gets enough nourishment to keep the gears running. These are a few things I said to him tonight when trying to get him to eat dinner (we had lemon herb chicken). This is a good representation of what I go through at just about every meal time.

1. Chicken is NOT yucky!

2. It will not make you throw up.

3. This is not a debate, Eli.

4. You can’t have a fruit roll up until you try the chicken.

5. I don’t understand what is so difficult about taking a bite of dinner.

6. You don’t have to eat the chicken if you choose something else that is healthy.

7. An ice cream cone is not healthy.

8. No, you can't have just the cone.

9. You need to eat something that doesn’t contain sugar.

10. I’m tired of having to force feed you every meal.

11. Your butt is not moving from that chair until you try your dinner!

12. Licking a piece doesn’t count.

13. I'm serving this to you tomorrow for breakfast.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Open Wide

My daughter does not take medicine, and never has since she was a baby. I remember the first time she had a fever as an infant. I gave her the Tylenol infant drops, and up they came along with everything else in her stomach. That has not changed at all in the last two years.

I have discovered that besides Tylenol, she also throws up PediaCare, Robitussin, Dimetap, Mucinex Jr., and anything else in infant form. I have managed to trick her into Tylenol chewables by offering her bubble-gum flavored “candy”. Unfortunately, cold medicine doesn’t come in chewable form, so I am still screwed on that point.

As with each change of weather, both kids have come down with colds – stuffy nose, cough, the whole bit. Georgia doesn’t want to sleep at night or take naps during the day because she can’t breathe.

This afternoon, I finally decided to try the medicine again. I figure there has to be some point when she keeps the medicine down, right? However, I wasn’t going to take a chance. I put Georgia in the bathtub before I gave her the medicine in case she threw up. She was backed up against me so any possible vomit would fly forward. I had a dropper of Tylenol Cough & Cold, which I inserted into her screaming mouth.

She swallowed it and was silent for a moment, so I loosened my grip. She turned around, looked at me, and threw up all over my shirt. Dude! She had a turkey sandwich and chocolate milk for lunch. It was not pretty.

I don’t know if there will be a day in which that girl will ever take medicine. But I know that it wasn’t today.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Manic Monday - He Said/She Said

This week’s Manic Monday word is Kit. I really had to think about it this week because it took awhile for the obvious to pop into my head. So I asked my husband what he thought of when I said “kit.” It seems that we both have very different ideas.

Here’s mine – the best snack EVER! Not a Kit Kat bar, but Kit Kat Bites. Yum-o!! These are my weakness. I have could seriously sit down and eat a bag of these in one sitting. They’re perfect! And here is an interesting tidbit – every five minutes, enough Kit Kats are manufactured to outstack the Eiffel Tower. Apparently, I’m not the only one who loves them!

Here’s Eric’s Manic Monday – Apparently he thinks of Mr. David Hasselhoff when he hears the word Kit. Did anyone ever watch Knight Rider? I wasn’t a huge fan, but I do remember that David Hasselhoff had a talking Trans-Am named Kitt. The short-lived 80’s show seemed to have much more of an impact on my husband. Maybe it was a guy thing.

Friday, September 21, 2007


I don’t exercise. Seriously. It’s not my thing. I feel that running (or walking briskly for that matter) is pointless unless there’s a chocolate cake and a triple white chocolate mocha at the finish line.

After careful evaluation, I decided that I need to have a better attitude. This month, a new community center opened near our house. It is 80,000 square feet, and it is nice. They have all kinds of new crap – Exercise equipment out the ying yang, two gymnasiums, four pools, yada, yada, yada. They even have a child watch area so you can drop your kid off while you exercise. (So I really don’t have an excuse now.)

We decided to join, and the kids are loving the pool area! Eli would go every day if we would let him. And they have family locker rooms, so we can all strip down together, and then everyone can stand back and watch me wrestle myself into my minimizer swimsuit. That’s fun.

One of my mid-year resolutions was that I was going to start exercising regularly. Today was the second time I went in. I dropped Georgia off in the child area, and screaming ensued. Remember, I NEVER leave this child unless it is with daddy and she still cries when I leave. When I left her with strangers, she was pissed!

I could have easily used that as an excuse not to work out, but I didn’t. I went on ahead to the fitness area, and pulled out Eric’s Zen player (think iPod, only just different enough that I don’t know how to work the damn thing).

I looked at all the weight machines, but I think I have a ways to go before any sort of weight machine should be involved, so I decided to stick with the cardio. First I went to the treadmill. I thought I was doing pretty good. That is until the 80-year-old man in a blue polyester suit got on the treadmill next to me and began to outrun me. I am seriously not making this up. When I first went to work out, I was afraid people would stare at me because they could sense how out of place I feel. The guy in the blue polyester suit at least made me feel better about that aspect.

After 20 minutes on the treadmill, I moved on to the elliptical machine. I always see people doing that on TV, and it looks fun. Plus, everyone told me what a great workout it gives you. Dude! That f*cking thing is hard. I was huffing and puffing in less than three minutes. It was not pretty. I made it 10 minutes on that machine before my legs couldn’t take the “burn” anymore. Then I moved on to the bicycle. That was a little easier, except the bicycles are up front, so everyone can watch you, and there was a skinny blonde Barbie doll on the bicycle next to me.

Overall, it was a good workout, but I can see where motivation is going to be a problem. Today, I wouldn’t let myself go to Starbucks until I worked out. Then I rewarded myself with a nonfat pumpkin spice latte. Is that wrong?

Thursday, September 20, 2007

13 Photos I Took At The Kansas State Fair

1. The (almost) 1000 pound pumpkin. I want to know how one transports that to the Fair.

2. The infamous "leash," which is (not so) subtlely disguised as a monkey backpack. Yes, Georgia has a monkey on her back. Come on, that's funny!

3. Eric wanted to ride the elephants. Georgia went with him so he wouldn't look like a pedophile.

4. Shocker! We live in Kansas, and there's a Wizard of Oz reference. Imagine that!

5. Eli looks waaaay too happy milking that cow.

6. The children on a tractor. There is something wrong with the fact that my 5-year-old can reach the pedals.

7. Ummm . . . yeah.

8. Dude! How cute are my kids?!!

9. Eli enjoyed the entries in the scarecrow contest. I want to know why it looks like Spiderman is flipping me off.

10. Georgia, the focused equestrian.

11. Nothing says fun like spinning around in a hollowed out teddy bear.

12. Eli rides roller coasters, but was scared because the bees went up too high. WTF?

13. Eli was too nervous to sit in front with that crazy woman driver!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Sound Effects

Last week, we headed down to the Kansas State Fair for a couple of days (more on that later in the week) before heading to Concordia, Kansas for a wedding. I learned so many things NOT to do this weekend, I thought I would share a few of my lessons.

1. After your children are tired and cranky from being at the Fair, it’s not a good idea to get them up at the crack of dawn the next day to drive two hours to then sit at a wedding of someone they don’t know.

2. Don’t ever, EVER take your children to a Catholic wedding unless you are a masochist and enjoy a special kind of torture. I didn’t realize it was a Catholic wedding until we drove up to the church. Those damn things are LONG!

3. When you take activities into a church to keep children quiet, do NOT take crayons. If you do, the children WILL draw in hymnals.

4. The quieter it is, the louder children get, especially when screaming “IT’S MINE! – NO IT’S MINE!”

5. Always sit on the outside of the aisle so you can make a quick escape. It’s much harder to get out when you’re blocked in by a 70-something year-old woman with a stern look and no sense of humor.

6. When your 2-year-old turns stands in her seat and starts introducing herself to the people behind you, it does not help when your 5-year-old starts screaming, “GEORGIA’S TALKING TO STRANGERS!”

These are just a few of the fun shenanigans we endured during the wedding ceremony that lasted for well over an hour. Luckily, the bride is the oldest of six siblings, so when I apologized for all of our added sound effects, she honestly replied, “Oh, I didn’t even notice.”

Monday, September 17, 2007

Manic Monday - Crisp

This week’s Manic Monday word is Crisp. As with most words, my thoughts seem to gravitate to either movies or food. Since I don’t think I could write a very long post on Crispin Glover (McFly!!), I’m going with food on this one.

As I’ve mentioned before, I have to sign up to take treats to preschool every so often. Maybe I’m too competitive, but I want to be the mom who brings the “good” treats. I seem to do a lot of different kinds of muffins (pumpkin chocolate chip being my favorite so far), and a lot of different kinds of Rice Krispy treats.

Rice Krispy Treats are the easiest things to make, and there are so many variations, that I can make them every month for Eli’s class, and they’re always different. Luckily, Eli’s teacher has mentioned that Rice Krispy treats are her favorite thing ever, so she absolutely LOVES me!!

1. My first variations are to cover them with chocolate. Very simple. Melt a bag of chocolate chips, spread over the top of your treats and refrigerate.

2. The most popular variation by far are M&M’s. You can make your treats festive for any occasion with properly chosen M&M’s. Just add in a cup to your treats before spreading in the pan – orange and black for Halloween, red and green for Christmas, red and pink for Valentine’s Day, pastel for Easter. Festive Rice Krispy treats for the whole year!

3. Next up, if you’re a fan of peanut butter, add that in for peanut butter Rice Krispy treats. These are super good topped with chocolate.

4. Cereal variations are key. Besides plain Rice Krispies, you can also use Cocoa Pebbles and Fruity Pebbles to make awesome treats!! You can use many cereals – Cheerios, Golden Grahams, etc. – but the rice cereals are my favorites.

5. One of my new favorites are chocolate rice cakes.

These are super easy and Yum-o!! Melt milk chocolate (a candy bar or bag of milk chocolate chips will do), add Rice Krispies and mix with your hands until it’s a very thick consistency. Spoon into cupcake liners. Refrigerate until set. Then you have individual chocolate rice cakes.

Okay, I have just made myself hungry. I think I’m going to go make those right now!

Friday, September 14, 2007

Out until Sunday

Hey all! I am out of town until Sunday. We are in Hutchinson for the Kansas State Fair, so gear up for pictures, because I always manage to get a few good shots of goats, cows and other various farm animals. Oh yeah, and the kids!

Tonight, my mother-in-law took me to a Bunko game with her friends. I had fun, and there wasn't even alcohol involved. Imagine that!

Saturday, we are attending Eric's cousin's wedding. I'm hoping for free beer.

More when I return. Have a great weekend!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

13 Different Things I Like To Eat

1. Mayonnaise on my French fries – I hear this is popular in Europe, but here, people just look at me weird.

2. Mushrooms stuffed with cream cheese - The ‘Shrooms at Houlihans are awesome!

3. Sweet potato chips (unsalted) and Sweet potato fries – hard to find, but very tasty!

4. Blueberry coffee – It’s easy to find blueberry tea, but blueberry coffee is much trickier!

5. Fried Green Tomatoes

6. Chicken salad with craisins and walnuts – great if you’re on the South Beach Diet.

7. Honey roasted sunflower seeds - Also hard to find. I can only find them at Whole Foods.

8. Peanut Butter Cookie Crisp – Regular Cookie Crisp was my favorite until I tasted the peanut butter!

9. Escargot – Yeah, I know – snails. But, Yum-o!

10. Fried pickles (preferably dipped in Ranch)

11. Potato chips on my sandwiches

12. Fried Snickers (on a stick) – Gotta love fair food!

13. Milk Duds in my Popcorn - My movie treat! It's the sweet/salty combination that I love!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Wordless Wednesday - Night Cap

(Brief explanation: Yes, my son sleeps with underwear on his head - he says it keeps his head warm so he can think better! And yeah, his nails are polished, too.)

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Never Forget

None of us will ever forget that horrible day six years ago when our world changed forever. I remember breaking down as I saw the firefighters running into the towers. My father was a firefighter for almost 30 years, so I know what it's like to watch your father run into a burning building to save others.

This tribute is for the 343 heroes who went into those buildings that day and gave their lives.

F is for Frustrated

Since Eli is now “pre-k”, I am really starting to work with him on his letters and numbers to get him ready for school. I really thought it would be easy. He knows all of his letters and all of his lower case letters. He knows how to spell his name, and lots of other words (like Starbucks), but when it comes to phonetics . . . this is not going to be as easy as I thought.

Let me tell you the exercise we were working on. There were four letters on the page A-B-C-D, and four pictures - astronaut, boat, cow, duck. Eli was supposed to draw a line from the picture to the letter it begins with. Easy enough, right? Wrong.

I went over several times the sounds that each letter makes, and then I would say “A-a-astronaut. What letter does that start with?” This is the conversation that followed.

Eli: I don’t know. C?
Me: No. C makes a “k” sound. Is there a “k” sound in astronaut.
Eli: I don’t know.

*grrrrrrr* I decided to try it the other way.

Me: Okay, let’s try the B. B makes a “buh” sound. What word starts with a “buh” sound?
Eli: Ummmmm . . . duck?
Me: Eli, sound it out. Du-du-duck. Does duck have a “buh” sound?
Eli: Ummmmm . . . yeah.
Me: Eli! Duck starts with a “duh” sound. Which word starts with a “buh” sound?
Eli: So it’s not duck?

AAAAAA!!!!! I know I don’t have a lot of patience, but this just might kill me.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Manic Monday - Clue

Miss Scarlet in the Conservatory with a Candlestick!

This week’s Manic Monday word is Clue! This is such a great one because guess what my favorite board game is? You guessed it! I have loved Clue since I was a little kid – before I even knew what the heck a Conservatory was. I have many a family member who was very tired of me forcing them to play Clue. Luckily, my friend Stacey likes it as much as I do, so we had some great Clue games, even as we got older. FYI, it also works as a drinking game!

I have had several editions of Clue over the years, and it amazes me how many different versions of the game there are. These are a few you can buy:

  • Classic Clue Board Game
  • Clue - DVD Edition
  • Clue - Library Edition
  • Simpsons Clue
  • Disney's Haunted Mansion Clue
  • Clue - The Computer Game
  • Clue Card Game
  • Clue Jr.
  • Clue Mysteries
  • Clue Suspects

I have also had some Clue jigsaw puzzles, but those are extremely anti-climactic. Once you spend all the time putting the puzzle together, it takes you about five seconds to figure out the murderer. Never quite worth it.

I also fondly remember the Clue movie. I was so excited for it to come out. Clue is such a good premise that I think they could have done so much more with it than they actually did. However, I did love the 3-way ending! Do you all remember this? They shot three different endings for the movie and showed different endings in different theatres. If you get the DVD, it contains all three endings. In fact, it has been so many years since I have seen this movie, I think I am going to add it to my Netflix queue right now!

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Eli's Favorite YouTube Video

Ever since our theme park experience in Branson, my son has been addicted to roller coasters. He loved riding the big roller coaster so much, and now all he can talk about is roller coasters.

This week, I went to pick him up on the second day of preschool, and the first pictures they had painted were hung up in the hall. Other kids drew a bug, or the zoo, or a picture of their family. Eli drew a picture of the Mamba roller coaster at Worlds of Fun, complete with musical notes because it plays music.

The other day we found some roller coaster videos on YouTube for him to watch. This one is his favorite. It features the four big roller coasters at Worlds of Fun (an amusement park here in KC), and it is set to music - Blink 182's "Roller Coaster", and Sugar Ray's "Answer The Phone". He has watched this video over and over and over and over again.

He has watched it so many times that he is now walking around singing the songs. I'm not quite sure how to react when my 5-year-old starts singing, "I want to get you alone so we can do it again, do it again."

I suppose as long as he thinks he's talking about roller coasters, it's okay . . . right?

Anyway, since I have watched this video a zillion times this week, I felt the need to share it with you all. Enjoy!

Friday, September 07, 2007

E is for Exhausted

Eli started back to preschool this week. He has to be there by 9:00 am, and after a summer of sleeping in, this whole getting up early thing is kicking my ass. Eric looked at my bank transactions yesterday. He read aloud, “Starbucks, It’s A Grind, Scooters, Starbucks . . . are you thinking if you mix it up, I won’t notice how much you’re spending on coffee?”

Dude! There has not been enough coffee to keep me awake this week. We were drugging Eli giving Eli Melatonin a few months ago (per his doctor’s suggestion) to get him to sleep. We stopped it after he had been on it long enough to “develop a sleeping habit.” Yeah, what the f*ck ever! A week later, Eli was back to his 11:30 bed time.

Since preschool started on Tuesday, we tried desperately to get Eli into bed Monday night. It was a killer. We started trying at 8:30, and he kept getting up and getting up until 11:30. That puts me in bed after midnight, and I have to get up before 7:00 to try to drag him out of bed. And a struggle it is.

I start by gently trying to wake him up. No response. So, I sit on his bed and give him tons of kisses. Then he starts swatting in my general direction, but doesn’t open his eyes. Then I start the singing, and then comes the tickling. When he does finally open his eyes, I usually get one of the following responses: “Fifteen more minutes!” or “MAMA! GO AWAY!” or “I am NOT going to school!”

Sometimes I’m quick enough that I can actually get him dressed before he even wakes up. On those mornings, I refer to myself as Quick Draw Mommy. If I can manage to shove a bowl of oatmeal down him, and get Georgia up, dressed and fed, and out the door by 8:30 . . . well, dammit, then I deserve a freaking latte.

I don’t know what I am going to do next year when he starts kindergarten and we have to be there by 8:00 a.m. Oh, I am going to be so screwed.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

13 Best TV Opening Credits

I have compiled a list of my favorite TV intros. Now, keep in mind this does not mean TV theme songs. These are some of the shows I think have the best overall opening credits, based on originality. I have linked all to a YouTube video so you can see them. So, here we go. These are my picks in countdown form!

13. CSI – I love the song, but it’s the special effects that make the opening credits super cool.

12. Green Acres – This is a classic. Who doesn’t enjoy seeing Eva Gabor in her designer farm clothes?

11. Pinky and the Brain – This has got to be one of my favorite cartoons ever! Two lab mice trying to take over the world. Priceless! One is a genius, the other’s insane . . .

10. Get Smart – Another classic. Maxwell Smart was never a super smooth agent. But he was smooth every week in the opening credits.

9. The Muppet Show – I loved it when I was six years old, and I still love it today.

8. Weeds – This Showtime comedy has a great opening song “Little Boxes” which is even cooler because it is sung each week in a different style by a different person. I think last week, it was in Spanish.

7. All in the Family – A classic song that was made wonderful when sung by Jean Stapleton and the late great Carroll O’Connor!

6. That 70’s Show – This show is one of the all-time great comedies, and the opening theme is awesome. Love the singing in the car.

5. Queer as Folk – This opening is amazing because it is not only sexy, but it is very sweet, and gets a message across . . . in 48 seconds!

4. The Cosby Show – The Cosby Show did a lot of cool intros over the years, but this one is my favorite. (Pay no attention to the fact that it’s in a different language.)

3. The Simpsons – This may actually be the best opening to any TV show ever. It made number 3 on my list because . . . hey, it’s my list! If you don’t watch the Simpsons, it’s important to know that what Bart writes on the chalk board and the couch “scene” at the end are different in every episode.

2. Everybody Loves Raymond – This isn’t even a theme song, but it is seriously one of my favorite openings EVER!

1. Drew Carey – My absolute favorite has to be The Drew Carey Show. I love Drew Carey, and he did a great opening with Cleveland Rocks, which is a favorite for a lot of people. But my favorite is the opening to Five O’Clock World. The dancing in this is more than impressive! Watch below!

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Wordless Wednesday

Just for the record, these are NOT my children.
I certainly don't envy the mom who had to scrub that marker off!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Oh Joy!!

Oh, yippee yay! One of my greatest pleasures in life consists of finding new yummy coffee places to frequent. I am happy once again!

It’s A Grind just opened a franchise in town. Apparently, they are very big out west, but this is the first one we have around here. Now, it is about 60 blocks from our house, but that is not too far to go for yummy coffee for me, a yummy mango slushy for Eric, and blended non-coffee mochas for the kids. Not to mention the best freaking cookies EVER!!

It’s A Grind gets two snaps up from me!!

Halloween (2007) – a review

I went on Friday with my friend Amy to see the new Halloween remake. Oh, I was so excited! I love scary movies, and the original Halloween is my all-time favorite. I had high hopes for this one. I had read several craptastic reviews, but there were a few good ones out there.

Amy and I got there 45 minutes early to get popcorn and milk duds and stake out the best seats. Then the movie began. The first half hour follows 10-year-old Michael Myers and gives you a glimpse into his disturbed childhood. I really liked this set-up. It doesn’t actually explain why Michael turned out how he did, but it shows you a very disturbed child, and follows his descent into complete insanity.

Now, I am not a big fan of gore. I love the first Halloween for the scares. The new one being a Rob Zombie film – well, this one definitely contained much more than the implied violence of the first one.

I did like that this movie made you care about the characters more than your normal slasher flick. I truly felt a sense of dread when Michael went after Laurie’s adopted parents. Plus, this movie added a whole new level since you actually cared about Michael Myers.

However, I did have a few problems with it. Like how did Michael Myers acquire super-human strength while doing nothing but sit in a mental institution for 17 years? And how the hell did he figure out who adopted his baby sister? And how is it that someone can empty a clip into his chest at close range and not even slow him down?

Aside from those questions, I still liked it. I will say that I think you have to be a fan of the Halloween series to appreciate it. Anyone going in cold, just wanting a slasher flick probably won’t appreciate the whole character study aspect of the movie.

Is it is as good as the original? Well, heck no! The original is a classic. But this one was thought-provoking, and definitely provided a few good scares. In fact, there were two instances when Amy and I were practically in each other’s laps. Then again, the guy who played Michael Myers was 6’8”. If you play that creepy-ass music, and a 6’8” guy in a Michael Myer’s mask is coming at me, I will pretty much defecate in my pants right there.

Just a sidenote – one of our scariest moments came after the movie. In the movie Michael had such long hair that hung in front of his face, so when he did take off his mask, you couldn’t see his face.

Well, when the movie was over, Amy and I stayed for the closing credits. When we stood up to leave, there was only one person left in the theatre. A big guy with really long hair was sitting in the row in front of us. He was staring straight ahead and he looked really creepy. We high-tailed it out of there as fast as we could. Amy and I chatted in the parking lot for a little bit, and when I got in my car, my phone rang. Amy said, “He is right behind you!” I looked in my rearview mirror, and sure enough, the Michael Myers look-alike was parked right behind me, and was getting into his car.

Dude! That is sooooo not cool!!! Needless to say, I have slept with my bedroom door locked and my nightlight on the last two nights!!

Monday, September 03, 2007

Manic Monday - Labor

In honor of Labor Day, this week’s Manic Monday word is Labor! I may be stretching it a little bit in today’s post, but I really wanted to share the following story.

I know I have shared with you all before the labor-intensive task of cutting the children’s hair. I finally gave up with Eli. It was way too difficult to make his hair look somewhat normal when he was curled into a ball with his hands over his head like a tornado drill, screaming, “It hurts!”

I finally decided it was worth it to shell out the $16 to take him into Shear Madness and have them deal with it. Of course when a stranger cuts his hair, he is a perfect angel. How sweet of him to save the insanity for mom!

Unfortunately, I’m still under the delusion that I can cut Georgia’s hair myself. . . No, really, I haven’t been smoking the crackpipe. I just had a momentary lapse in judgment. I was only planning to cut her bangs, so how hard could it actually be?

Well, I spent days building up my nerve energy that I was going to need for the labor of cutting my two-year-old’s hair. I sat her on the vanity in the bathroom, gave her toys, and let her play in the sink while I trimmed away. I was actually pleased. With a minimal amount of wiggling, her bangs only turned out slightly crooked and just a little too short. Yay me!

It wasn’t until later in the day that this would come back to haunt me. Georgia was sitting by the coffee table working on some crafts. We have a couple of pairs of the little kid scissors with the rounded edges that the kids work with. You wouldn’t think those damn things would be sharp enough to cut hair!

I was working on my laptop, and Georgia climbed on my lap and came at my head with a pair of scissors. Luckily, I caught her little hand before she did any damage, but it was obvious at that point that our hair-cutting experience had made an impression.

Now, I have posted many pictures of my daughter, and you all know we usually put a ponytail on top of her head because we are growing out the unfortunate bang incident that happened last year when I attempted to cut her hair. It was finally getting to a decent length, too!

Then Eric went to take down her ponytail so we could get her ready for bed. When he took the rubberband out of her hair, half of her ponytail came out with it. I just heard a gasp from Eric and he said, “I think she cut her hair!”

Oh yeah she did! Apparently she used those craft scissors on herself before she turned them on me. And apparently, she attempted to cut off her ponytail. I couldn’t even speak at that point. It was more of a strangled moan that came out of my mouth. Eric was pouring me a glass of wine before I could even think of anything to say, God bless him.

And Georgia? Well, I still haven’t figured out what to do about her hair. I need to take her into the salon because Eric’s only order request was “Don’t try to fix it yourself!” And I refuse to cut her hair short. That brings back traumatic memories of the Dorothy Hamill cut I had when I was five. I still remember the countless children who asked if I was a boy or a girl.

One thing is for sure. I am throwing all of the scissors away!!

Sunday, September 02, 2007

You Like Me! You Really Like Me!!

I have received some awards in the past week, and I have fallen way way behind on people to thank. I don’t mean to put it off on purpose, it’s just that accepting compliments is something I’m not necessarily good at.

First up, I would like to thank Sandee from Comedy Plus! Sandee makes me smile every day with her hysterically funny blog, and she has been kind enough to award me with the Blogging Star Award, the I Love Your Blog Award, and the You Make Me Smile Award! Sandee, you rock beyond belief!!
Bridget at And Miles To Go . . . has awarded me with a Blogging Star Award, too! I am constantly in awe of Bridget. I really don’t know how she has time to raise five beautiful children, and cook, and blog. I have decided that she must not sleep! (BTW, I have tried about three of her recipes so far, and she is an AWESOME cook!)

And last but not least, my bestest buddy Morgen at It’s A Blog Eat Blog World and The Mo Show, awarded me the You Make Me Smile Award. Morgen you know I love you! You were my first friend in the blogosphere, and you are one great man!

You all humble me, dear blog friends. With my crazy kids, I don’t always have times to leave comments on everyone’s blog, but I am still here, and I’m always visiting. You all mean more to me than I can say!