Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Sound Effects

Last week, we headed down to the Kansas State Fair for a couple of days (more on that later in the week) before heading to Concordia, Kansas for a wedding. I learned so many things NOT to do this weekend, I thought I would share a few of my lessons.

1. After your children are tired and cranky from being at the Fair, it’s not a good idea to get them up at the crack of dawn the next day to drive two hours to then sit at a wedding of someone they don’t know.

2. Don’t ever, EVER take your children to a Catholic wedding unless you are a masochist and enjoy a special kind of torture. I didn’t realize it was a Catholic wedding until we drove up to the church. Those damn things are LONG!

3. When you take activities into a church to keep children quiet, do NOT take crayons. If you do, the children WILL draw in hymnals.

4. The quieter it is, the louder children get, especially when screaming “IT’S MINE! – NO IT’S MINE!”

5. Always sit on the outside of the aisle so you can make a quick escape. It’s much harder to get out when you’re blocked in by a 70-something year-old woman with a stern look and no sense of humor.

6. When your 2-year-old turns stands in her seat and starts introducing herself to the people behind you, it does not help when your 5-year-old starts screaming, “GEORGIA’S TALKING TO STRANGERS!”

These are just a few of the fun shenanigans we endured during the wedding ceremony that lasted for well over an hour. Luckily, the bride is the oldest of six siblings, so when I apologized for all of our added sound effects, she honestly replied, “Oh, I didn’t even notice.”

6 comments:

Deb - Mom of 3 Girls said...

Too funny! Although I'm sure it wasn't at the time - long weddings are hard enough to sit through sometimes without having to keep kids amused as well. I'm glad the bride didn't mind! :)

Not So Anonymous Michelle said...

OMG, that must have been torture! It has been awhile since we dared take Emma into a church! It's great the bride didn't notice. If Emma gets loud I always make an escape, long weddings are bad enough for the adults, I can see why kids can't handle it!

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Kids can be trying. I'm glad I'm done raising mine. I have missed so many events by leaving as soon as my child started acting like an idiot. Have a great day. :)

Crazy Working Mom said...

I was laughing so hard when I read this one! God, our children are so much alike that it's not even funny!
I really wish that we lived closer together so that we could share war stories while our children swung from the light fixtures! :)

Mama's Moon said...

I can't stop cracking up over this. There's just something about being in a catholic church that seems to magnify all the (very loud) antics your children make to draw even more attention to you. I was raised Catholic. That stern, 70-year old woman on the same pew as you was probably my aunt!!!

Thank goodness you survived it!

Desert Songbird said...

I don't think of Catholic weddings as being long; I think non-Catholic weddings are too short.