Shopping with Children (6/30/06)

Don't you just love how you wake up to what you think is going to be a nice relaxing day . . . and then you take your children out in public?

My children are a lot of fun, and I truly enjoy their eccentricities, but other people - well, not so much. I was very excited today by the fact that we didn't have a lot to do. I let the kids sleep in, hoping the extra sleep would put them in a good mood. All we had to do today was go to Gymboree, which is fun, go to the library, go to Kinko's to buy ink for the printer, stop by Wal-Mart for a few groceries, and run by the post office to mail the thank-you notes for Georgia's birthday. Very doable tasks!

When I went in to get Eli up this morning, I whipped the covers off of him only to discover he wet the bed. I know I've mentioned this in previous blogs, but he has been potty-trained since January with no accidents. I'm not sure what has caused the back slide in this last week. I've heard this is normal, but I'm not sure quite how to rectify the situation. I don't want to punish him, but he doesn't seem to care that he's sleeping in a wet bed and that he smells like pee. On the other hand, I care a great deal.

After I got him up and dressed, changed the sheets, started the wet sheets in the laundry, and fed both kids breakfast, we were running a little behind schedule. That's okay, I thought, I can catch up. I would have been happy if we could just make it to the library before Gymboree and we could do the rest afterward.

Just when I thought we were ready to leave, Eli disappeared to go potty. A few minutes later, out he comes naked from the waist down, wearing his pants on his head. That made me laugh so hard I thought I was going to wet my own pants. Once we got his pants on the right end, and I was loading everyone up to go, I smelled poop. I looked at Georgia, and said, "Did you poop?" To which she looked at me smiling really big and replied, "AAAAAAAAA!!!" That's baby for, "You bet your sweet bippy I did."

After changing her, we were rushing to make it to the library before Gymboree. We went in, dropped our stuff in the drop box, and off we went to the Children's Section so Eli could get another Bob the Builder DVD. Disaster struck! All Bob the Builder DVDs were checked out. Apparently, all the parents are stocking up for the holiday weekend when they'll all be home with their kids. Eli was not happy, and to be perfectly honest, not having a Bob the Builder DVD doesn't make my life any easier, either.

We went to go wait in line at the desk because I had a book on hold. When we came into the library, there was no line. In the three minutes it took us to go scan the DVD's and come back, the line was a mile long! I have no freaking clue how a line formed so fast. But, we waited, got our books, and we were out of there, and about 10 minutes late to Gymboree. Luckily, the teacher never starts on time, so we were really only about five minutes late.

After Gymboree, we headed to Wal-Mart grocery store for a few items. Going to Wal-Mart is always fun because everyone gets to see my bra. It's fabulous! I sit Georgia in the cart in front of me, and strap her in as tightly as I possibly can and then she yanks at my shirt trying to get out. She stretches my shirt so far away from my body (and it doesn't matter what shirt I wear), that I have resigned myself to the fact that everyone in the greater Kansas City area has probably seen my bra.

Our Wal-Mart trip actually went fairly smoothly, until Eli found the big bin of balls. You all have seen this. They have the huge bin, where the balls come out the bottom, but to put them back in, you have to throw them up over the top, and if you buy one, you pay some exorbitant amount for a plastic ball that probably cost 10 cents to make, if that.

Anyway, Eli got a ball, and proceeded to throw it in the area of the top. I can barely throw it back in, so I knew this wasn't going to work. But determined as he is, he was not about to give up until he made it. So I lifted him up as high as I could, and said, "Throw it!" Didn't make it. I tried that twice. My next idea was to have him toss the ball, and I would volley it in. (We were quite the spectacle in the middle of Wal-Mart, by the way.) I said to Eli, "Throw the ball up as high as you can, and mommy will hit it in." He got a concentrated look on his face, and with all his might, he threw that ball up . . . . and over the back of his head.

It was really high, though. So high that it went over the top of the aisle and in to the next aisle, at which point I heard a woman's voice let out a surprised, "Oooo!" Eli didn't even notice. He just started looking around, saying, "Where'd it go?" Much to my horror, I realized at that moment that there was a little old lady watching our show, who at this point was laughing so hard that I thought she was going to wet herself. I decided it best to retrieve the ball and put it back in the bin myself. After that, we quickly finished our shopping.

Next stop - Kinko's. By this time, I knew Georgia was tired and I contemplated just going home. But I saw in the rear view mirror that she quickly fell asleep when we got in the car. Perfect, I thought! We could hit Kinko's and drop the thank-yous at the post office while she's asleep. So while I was driving to Kinko's, I started sealing the envelopes. Only then did I notice that I hadn't written anyone's address on them - just their names as I was planning to look the addresses up later. Crap! That means the TYs will have to wait. Hopefully, I will manage to get them out before Georgia turns two!

So, this meant Kinko's then home. We stopped at Kinko's, and I got Eli out of the car. Since Georgia was still sleeping, I left her in her carrier, and lugged the whole thing in. While I was standing at the desk waiting for assistance, Georgia woke up. Double crap!! As soon as she realized she was still in her carrier, she was pissed!! She started screaming bloody murder. Not cool! In the middle of a work day, you can imagine how busy Kinko's was, mostly with people from offices who certainly looked like they were not used to running into screaming children.

At least this got someone's attention to come and help me. Then, they didn't even have the ink I wanted. They had the expensive brand, but not the generic brand. Now, I should mention that as a mom, I have a great ability to block out crying children. I am perfectly capable of holding a conversation while my daughter's head is spinning around. I nicely asked the Kinko's guy to call the other stores to see if they had the correct ink cartridge. You would have thought I asked him to babysit for the afternoon. He grudgingly did so, as I tried to calm Georgia. Eli at this point was checking out the candy, picking out what he wanted. (Why the heck does Kinko's need to sell candy, for Christ's sake?!)

After I found out that apparently none of the stores sell the generic ink anymore, I agreed to take the expensive one. Now, I just needed some card stock to go with my new ink cartridge. At this point, I thought everyone in the store was going to kill me. The exasperated guy pulled out the book, and I quickly pointed to two I liked. Even though I could go to the paper store and get them cheaper, looking down at my screaming baby, I decided that was probably not a good idea. Plus, at this point the FedEx man had come out from behind his counter to start cooing at Georgia in an attempt to quiet her down. I guess that's when you know it's bad - when the FedEx guy feels it necessary to help you with your parenting skills.

So, we got our ink and paper but no candy, much to Eli's chagrin. Georgia was out like a light the second we got in the car, so we drove home, had lunch, and now the kids are napping - both of them. Do I hear a chorus of angels singing in the background?