Monday, July 24, 2006

Obsessions and Cravings

I know I seem to have a large pre-occupation with children’s programming, and I don’t mean to beat a dead horse, but would someone please comment if they see some serious sexual overtones in Bob the Builder (BTB). I know I’ve discussed the bi-polar Lofty and Stalker Wendy in a previous blog, but since my son has become more obsessed with the show, I think the sexual tension between Bob and Wendy is growing. It doesn’t help matters that watching any television with my husband quickly results in a Mystery Science Theatre-type banter between the two of us. This is how it goes:

Scoop from BTB: “Gee Bob, you and Wendy never take a vacation.”
Me: “That’s because they’re always doing it in the back of a truck.”
Eric: “No. They have to resort to a seedy motel because all the trucks know them.”

And it continues from there. Unfortunately after seeing Team America, it is all too easy to visualize Stop Motion or puppet-type characters engaged in some raunchy sexual activity. For Halloween this year, I’m sure Eli will want to be someone in the Bob the Builder family. I’m thinking Eric can go as Bob’s dad, and I will be Stalker Wendy. I’ll put my hair in a pony tail and pin a restraining order to my chest. It will be fabulous!

Aside from the sexual overtones, has anyone seen the character Spud?

He’s a scarecrow. Am I the only one who thinks Spud looks like the serial killer from a B horror movie? In addition to the Pumpkinhead, he comes complete with a red and green scarf ala Freddy Kreuger! Or maybe I’ve just watched one too many slasher flicks. I don’t know what it is, but he seriously creeps me out.

Other than watching the 24-hour viewing of BTB that runs on our television, I did manage to get a few things accomplished this weekend. As I mentioned a few days ago, this weekend was the details party. Amy, Heather and I got together to get some of the wedding details checked off the list. Amy and I made our shoes. (I truly believe you can make just about anything with a hot glue gun), and we helped Heather with the programs. We were supposed to be working on wedding favors, which are triangular tea infusers. All we had to do was tie the tags to them, which had personal quotes on them. Unfortunately, Heather made the tags rectangular instead of triangular, much to the chagrin of her fiancé. He seems to forget he’s not the bride.

We also managed to polish off a nice bottle of wine at the details party while listening to the Wedding Mix version 2 CD. I think the wine was an immense help. My friend Aaron (my main gay) and I went out for coffee the other night at Beanology, which is an awesome coffeeshop because they also offer booze-ology, aka coffee drinks with liquor. They are sooooo good! My favorite part is that it says on the menu they don’t serve booze-ology until after 9:30 am. Apparently drinking after 9:30 am is okay, but drinking at 9:15 am means you’re a lush.

Anyway, Aaron had gone to the Holy-Field Vineyard and Winery last week in Basehor, KS and brought me back two bottles of wine. They were incredible! I downed one with the girls on Saturday, and my husband and I enjoyed the Port, complete with a slab of dark chocolate as Aaron instructed me to do. He was right – it was an orgasm in my mouth! Nothing can do that like wine and chocolate. . . well, besides ice cream. . . and coffee. Hell, never mind. Apparently, I’m just easy.

Has anyone heard about the new Haagen Dazs flavor? Food TV ran a contest for viewers to invent a new ice cream flavor. We watched it one night last week because there’s really nothing on in the summer, so I tend to watch a lot of Food Network, HGTV and Big Brother 7. Once you get into Big Brother, you can always go to YouTube and find a clip of one of the hot guys taking a shower.

But I digress. The three finalists in the ice cream contest were Toasted Coconut Sesame Brittle (yuck! I hate coconut), Cannoli (this is the one I was rooting for), and Sticky Toffee Pudding, which was the ultimate winner. After they talked about these ice creams so much, I had such a hankering for Sticky Toffee Pudding by the time the show was over, I almost couldn’t take it. I have not had a craving like that since I was pregnant and ate 13 crab rangoons in one sitting.

Anyway, since last week, I have been looking for Sticky Toffee Pudding ice cream everywhere I go. They didn’t have it at Wal-Mart, Hy-Vee, Dillons or Target. Grrrrr! It’s only available for a limited time, so I’m on a quest. It’s bad news when I’m on a quest. At this point, it’s not that I even care about the actual ice cream, but I’m obsessed with the search. I’m so annoyed with the fact that I can’t find it. The more annoyed I get, the more I feel the need to find this ice cream. It’s a sickness – my OCD is on the rampage!

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