Britney Spears - White Trash Mommy (June 16, 2006)

Today, Blog That Mommy is Blogging That Britney. I was planning to write about When Babies Attack - a fun topic in and of itself - but then I turned on Dateline NBC last night and hit pay dirt! After watching Britney Spears strung out and crying and talking about her horrible life, I just had to comment.

Did anyone catch Dateline last night? I'm now more convinced than ever that Sean Preston Federline has Child Protective Services on speed dial.

First off, if I were planning to do a national television interview, I might pretty myself up just a smidge. But apparently when Matt Lauer is coming to the house, appropriate attire for Britney Spears consists of cut-offs, a low-cut shirt with her boobs hanging out, chewing gum, and enough god-awful clumpy mascara to choke a horse. What the hell was up with her right eye, anyway? Can't the girl afford a make-up artist? Anyway, Brit sat down with Matt Lauer to discuss the press, her child, and her prize of a husband.

I'm sorry, but I can't get past this guy. They asked K-Fed one thing, and his response was something like, "I have feelings. I'm no different than nobody else." Uh-huh. Use some of those millions to pay for some grammar lessons, smart guy.

Then there's Britney. She spends so much time trying to convince everyone she's a sweet country girl that she comes off looking like an idiot. It's hard to imagine her as a good mother and business woman when she acts like a 14-year-old girl. So I'll just go over a few of my favorite parts of the interview.

When she described her upcoming children's clothing line as "the cutest stuff you've ever seen" (I doubt that), Mr. Lauer asked her, "So you like business?" Her response while chomping gum was, "I like money!" Has she done anything good with her money at all? She's from the South. Has she helped any Hurricane Katrina victims?

Mr. Lauer then questioned the fact that she was basically a home-wrecker because she apparently stole K-Fed away from his pregnant girlfriend with whom he already had one illegitimate child. Well, who can blame her? He's such a catch! Britney's defense? "Well, Julia Roberts' husband was married when she met him and nobody said anything about that." Okay, white trash mommy, I'm sure Julia Roberts will have plenty to say after reading that comment in the news this morning.

Onward to Miss Spears' mothering skills. Now, first of all, when I was pregnant and anyone asked me how far along I was, I knew to the minute. I could answer without hesitation, 24 weeks and 2 days. Pregnant women just know! When Mr. Lauer asked Britney how far along she was, her response was, "I don't know - 6 or 7 months." I'm sorry, what?! What do you mean you don't know?! Luckily the new baby's older brother is already close with the staff of Social Services.

Then there's poor little Sean Preston, himself. First, we had the incident of him sitting on his mom's lap while she was driving home from Starbucks. Her defense? "We're country people. When I was little, I sat on my dad's lap all the time when he was driving." Okay, farm girl, there's a big difference between driving on the country roads of Louisiana and driving on Pacific Coast Highway in Los Angeles.

Strike 2: She had to rush her baby to the emergency room after he fell from a high chair and hit his head because he was sitting in it unsecured. She acts like that kind of thing happens every day. Well, I am not a perfect mother by any means, but I can honestly say that my children have never fallen from a high chair, bed or any other raised surface because I don't leave them unsecured!

Strike 3: She has her 9-month old baby in a forward facing car seat. For those of you unfamiliar with baby safety, your child must be in a rear-facing car seat until they reach 1 year of age and a weight of at least 20 pounds.

Foul: She stumbled on the streets of New York while holding her child and almost dropped him. This one, I will give her. We have all stumbled while carrying our children, something which would be easy to do surrounded by hundreds of photographers. What amazed me is that her security guard seemed more concerned about her baby than she did.

Her defense for all of these things? "Accidents happen." Yes, accidents do happen. My son recently fell while we were playing miniature golf and skinned his knee. That was an accident. I was changing my daughter's diaper and accidentally scraped her with one of my fingernails. That was an accident. But putting your child in an unsecured high chair? That's careless. And driving with your baby on your lap or in a forward facing car seat? That's just plain stupid!

My take on the whole thing. Britney Spears loves the press and the paparazzi. She hasn't worked now in 2 or 3 years, so how else is she going to keep herself in the spotlight? I'm not saying the paparazzi isn't hard on her. I agree they are. However, if she truly thinks it's dangerous to her children, then do something about it. If I thought my children were in danger, I wouldn't wait around to see what happens next. Look at Angelina Jolie. I'm not a huge fan of hers as she's on the list of homewreckers, but at least she seems to have her children's best interests at heart. She wanted to get them away from prying eyes, so she packed them up and moved to a different country. Yet, Miss Spears sits crying in a restaurant with glass windows complaining that everyone is taking her picture. You poor thing. Pick up your kid and go home - or to a hotel. Order room service, for Christ's sake. But quit whining. If you truly think all of this has made you "strong" and "a good mother," you have a lot to learn.