Karma

I should have known after my great day yesterday that karma would kick me in the ass. It was quite an eventful day for someone who didn't even leave the house! I think it was the no sleep. After two nights with no sleep (and I'm really not blaming Georgia because I wouldn't be happy if I were cutting molars either), it finally caught up with me, and I spent today in a zombie-like state.

I knew I was in trouble at 5 a.m. when I was playing with Georgia. If I'm that awake at 5 a.m., especially after being up at 3 a.m. the previous night, things won't end well. When I finally got Eric out of bed - or I should say awake enough to watch Georgia so I could take a shower, I accidentally mistook my conditioner for shampoo. I was so tired that I didn't even bother to lather with shampoo and then go back to conditioner. This was a mistake because I have walked around all day with gummy hair. It has not been pleasant.

After my shower, Georgia proceeded to attach herself to my right calf where she stayed all day, sometimes yelling, sometimes screaming, and sometimes vehemently telling me "Ya de de de ma ja da." My thoughts exactly.

This afternoon excited me because the UPS man showed up with two huge boxes of Discovery Toys - all the new fall stuff. Woo hoo! Eli ran and found scissors that he was apparently hiding somewhere (!!!) and attacked the boxes. I got 17 new toys. 17!!! Eli carefully took all of them out of the big boxes of popcorn peanuts and then jumped in. Yes, he will forego fun toys in favor of big boxes and popcorn peanuts. I could sooooo save money on toys! Anyway, by the end of the afternoon, my floor was covered in popcorn peanuts. What's even worse is that Eli was guarding all entrances to the family room because he didn't want us walking on the foam and squishing it. I was exiled to the living room.

During this time, I called my husband three times asking when he was coming home because mommy desperately needed a nap. I got answers like "I'll be home early," or "Soon" or "I'm leaving in just a few minutes." Uh-huh. He got home at 5:00. Grrrr. . .

I was quickly losing patience. I stopped to check my e-mail and saw one from my friend Heather #1 (you remember Heather, right? If not, see the August archive for some of the wedding blogs). A friend of hers was in labor and she wanted to know what to get for a baby gift. I immediately called and left her a message about my wonderful array of Discovery Toys - perfect for all ages.

Now, here is the bad part. It just occurred to me that Heather's birthday was two days ago. And I forgot. And I just called to hit her up to buy toys and didn't even mention the words "Happy Birthday." And it was her 30th birthday. I am a horrible, horrible friend. I truly suck. I couldn't even bring myself to call back and say, "I forgot to wish you a happy birthday," because I was so utterly and completely ashamed. She is one of my best friends, and I can't even remember her freaking birthday (which I blame on lack of sleep). I now need to take her out and buy her lots and lots of drinks.

As if that weren't bad enough, we sat down to dinner after Eric got home, and Eli picked up a very full glass of ice cold water and spilled it all over me. Christ. I literally had to close my eyes and count to 10. I knew it was an accident, and my poor baby looked like he was about to cry. I asked him to get a towel, and we cleaned up the water. Then I ate my spaghetti, which was drenched in ice cold water. yummy.

After all that, I had to put Georgia down for a nap because she was exhausted. It was 6:45. I knew I was going to be in big trouble. I took this opportunity to lie down, too. Yes, I was fully intending to go to bed at 7:00 tonight. Sue me. Unfortunately, over the next two hours the phone rang eight f*cking times! Someone out there hates me. I got up and gave up all ideas of sleep. It is now 11:00, I am exhausted, blogging, and I hear Georgia on the baby monitor. She is awake. Double crap.