Willpower . . . schmillpower

I have no willpower. None whatsoever. I’m just going to say that up front. I think I got the lack of willpower from my mom’s side of the family. Thanks, mom. Mom’s mad at me right now anyway because I informed her today that she is having a Discovery Toys party. The thought of people messing up her house sent her into a tizzy, but it’s the least she could do to support her daughter, right?

Anyway, today was quite a Monday. My house always looks like it has a hangover come Monday morning. After a weekend of relaxing (i.e. not picking up), the house basically looks like it threw up Toys R Us. You are taking your life into your hands attempting to walk across the floor.

After looking at my family room this morning, I just wanted to climb back into bed. But I began picking up the remnants of Hurricane Eli, and then he woke up. He ran into the family room and said the words that every mother dreads first thing on a Monday. “Mommy, I had an accident.” Oh double crap.

I checked, and sure enough, his pants were dripping, as were his sheets. We had to take a break from toy clean-up duty to change from the urine-soaked Nemo sheets to the dry Sesame Street sheets. The whole time Eli was running around the house naked after stripping off his wet jammies. Georgia was chasing him. Squealing.

Needless to say after that, I was ready for a break. Luckily, I had a girls’ night scheduled with Stacey and Andrea. We have to figure out a girls’ night that does not involve food. I was fretting today over how tight my jeans were getting. I was so busy over the summer, I didn’t have time to focus on taking off that baby weight. Yes, I realize my daughter is 15 months old, but just play along.

After I agonized over my tight jeans, I went off to meet the girls. At Cheeseburger in Paradise. Has anyone tried this place? The have the best f***ing hamburgers in the known universe. And for dessert? Chocolate Nachos! Oh yeah, baby! Heaven on a good day wishes it could be as good as the Chocolate Nachos at Cheeseburger in Paradise.

Did I mention that I have no willpower at all!! I have to stop this. I am such a foodie. I wake up every day full of good intentions, but by noon, I am hungry. Those good intentions go out the window when faced with a growling stomach and a big bag of peanut M&M’s.

Maybe I should try Weight Watchers again. Except Weight Watchers scares me. Every time I have started Weight Watchers, I get pregnant and have to quit. I realize that I had my tubes tied, but if I start Weight Watchers, I will be one of those women you hear about on the news whose tubal ligation failed, and I magically conceived quintuplets.

No, I need a diet plan that won’t fail. Maybe I should join Julie over at Flip This Body. Is Flip This Blog That Mommy too long of a blog title? Hmmmm . . .