Tales From The Potty

And my attempts to potty train Georgia continue. Dude! She starts preschool the day after Labor Day. I have a little over one month with her, and she must have it down! I don’t think they would buy it if I just sent her to preschool, said she was potty trained and then acted shocked when she had an accident every single day. Or maybe I could try that. Hmmm . . .

At home, she does not wear pants. This tactic worked with Eli – naked from the waist down. With Georgia, that even works better because I bought her lots of little fun summer dresses, so you really can’t tell that she doesn’t have pants on. If I don’t put pants on her, she goes potty. So, we’re half way there.

Occasionally, I try putting regular panties on her. The first few times I tried that, she peed right through them. She didn’t get that you were supposed to pull them down to go potty. I tried again on Tuesday. She had on her little sundress and panties, and every time she needed to potty, she pulled the panties down! Woo hoo! Did she finally get it? Did it click? Is it possible the universe could be so kind to me?

Tuesday evening after a full day of success, we took the kids to the library. I took Georgia to the potty right before we left the house, and I decided to leave on her panties since she had been doing so well all day.

Picture this. We are in the middle of the (fully carpeted) library. Georgia was standing next to me, and all of a sudden I hear someone pouring water. Hmm . .. that’s odd. Then I looked down. Georgia was standing there, her legs slightly spread, and the biggest torrential downpour of pee I have ever seen was streaming out of her, flooding the carpet.

I gasped and snatched her up, wrapping her legs around my waist. I mean if she’s going to be, hopefully it would be less noticeable to those around us if she peed on me rather than in the middle of the floor.

Now, here is something I wish for you. I hope you are never in a dilemma in which the optimum choice is to have your child pee all over you.

I ran with Georgia to the restroom and sat her on the potty – not that that did any good since she was all finished by then. I pocketed her soaked panties – I mean what the hell, right? I was already soaked in pee. And I tried to subtley leave the library with urine-soaked clothing and a half naked 3-year-old.

Eric was waiting outside for me. Laughing his ass off.

Okay, so in retrospect it probably was funny. But still, I hope next time Georgia pees all over daddy.