Faking It

Oh, there are just so many directions I could go with that title, aren’t there?

After four days of gray, cold gobbledy gook, today was . . . . well, it was still cold. But the sun finally came out. I was so happy that I could get out today. Then once I was out in the 15 degree weather, I realized I must be completely insane and went back home as fast as possible. It is too cold!

My favorite quote of the day came from a nurse at my doctor’s office. I went in this afternoon, and the main roads had given way to slush rather than sheets of ice. The nurse made the comment, “I sure hope it doesn’t get cold enough tonight for all of this to refreeze.”

Lady, are you serious? It’s 15 degrees!!! And the low tonight is supposed to be -2!! That's NEGATIVE 2!!! I think it might refreeze.

I came home after my doctor’s appointment and made dinner (mini Italian meatloaves – yum yum). They were very quick, so it was soon time to force feed Eli. I don’t know if I have mentioned it before, but the boy does not like to eat. He waits until his stomach is growling, and then he takes a few bites of food until his tummy is not growling anymore, and then he is done. I really wish I could practice that philosophy.

At age four, however, I am concerned the child is going to starve. Since he was a preemie, I have been concerned from the first day of his life that he is not getting enough to eat. I have been force feeding him ever since. When I get him to take a bite of something new, he will fight with me, and then finally give in complete with protests and gagging noises.

Tonight’s mini-meatloaves were no different. Eric was trying to get him to eat, so I didn’t exactly see what went on, but I could hear the gagging sounds as he tried dinner. Then I heard, “I throwed up.” Uh-oh. I went in to see what was wrong. Eli claimed he threw up, but Eric said he was faking it because he didn’t like dinner.

I told Eric there was a difference between spitting it out and throwing it up. Eric still maintained Eli was faking it, and told him to try another bite. So, in went another bite. And up it came. I said, “He is NOT faking it!” He makes gagging noises, and even spits out his food when he is faking it, but the only time he ever says, “I throwed up,” is when he has thrown up!

Eric and I continued to debate for awhile about exactly how manipulative our son actually is. Eric decided the best solution was to put him to bed. Because if he really did throw up and he’s sick, he needs to go to bed. And if he’s faking it, it will teach him a lesson if he’s immediately sent to bed.

You can imagine how well that went over. Especially since Georgia was still up and loudly chasing the cats around screaming, “MEOW!” She mimics the animal sounds on her See and Say. Remember See and Say? When we were little, it had a pull string. Now it has a lever because apparently, too many children strangled themselves. Anyway, remember “The cat says MEOW!” That is exactly how Georgia says it. It’s amazing!

But I digress. Eli finally went to bed, and we never did decide for sure if he was faking throwing up or if he just really detests my cooking that much. I guess if the preschool calls after lunch and tells me that Eli just threw up his peanut butter and jelly sandwich, we’ll know he was telling the truth.