Monday, January 01, 2007

Annie, Dumbass and Homewrecker

My weekend took a turn I did not see coming. The morning of New Year’s Eve, I received a call from one of my best friends in the whole world who we will call Annie (for Anonymous, aren’t I clever?). Annie was hysterical because she just found out her husband has been cheating on her. They have been married six years and have two kids – a 5-year-old and a 10-month-old.

After checking all the text messages on her husband’s cell phone, which is how she confirmed her suspicions, she broke his phone and kicked his ass out.

My question is why are men so completely and utterly stupid. Annie’s husband, who we shall call Dumbass, knows his cell phone is in Annie’s name. She asked him how long the affair has been going on, and he said one month. She got online and looked up his cell phone records. Over three months of phone calls and text messages. Apparently, Dumbass underestimates the strategic thinking of a smart woman.

To top it all off, Dumbass works with the Homewrecker and supervises her!! Lawsuit, anyone? Dumbass is begging Annie to take him back, yet he refuses to quit his job, and refuses to give Annie the name of Homewrecker. WTF?!! In my opinion, if he really wants to work it out, he would tell Annie every single thing she wants to know.

It is none of my business if Annie takes him back or not. I know they have two kids, and I can’t sit on the outside and judge anyone’s situation. All I can do is offer to hold him down while she kicks the sh*t out of him.

If it were me, I don’t think I could stay with someone who I could never ever trust again. I couldn’t live the rest of my life wondering if my husband was cheating every time he walks out the door.

Anyway, this whole story does have a point. Annie wants Homewrecker’s name. All we have is her cell phone number. I have looked into all those reverse cell phone lookup sites, but they all want $60 or $70, and I think they look like a bunch of scams. So, my question for you, my dear blog readers, is how can I find out Homewrecker’s name? Her cell phone number is (913) 207-4773. If anyone can find her name or tell me how to find her name, I would really really appreciate it!

My other question to you is how do you all feel about cheating? If your spouse cheated, would you try to work it out? Would you kick his sorry ass out the door? I’m curious. This is the first time anything like this has happened to someone so close to me, and it has completely thrown me for a loop. I just don’t understand how someone could cheat knowing how it could rip apart their family. I do not get it. And I never will.


Momish said...

Oh, how horrible. My heart aches for her. I hope she finds peace eventually and no matter what, they both end up making decisions that are best for them and the kids. I don't think there is a definate way to handle such situations. Each one deserves to be dealt with in their own way, however those involved feel and can best recover, if at all. I wish her the best in getting through such a terrible thing.

On another note, I wouldn't persue the other woman. She is irrelevant when all is said and done. The situation is between the two of them. He should reveal this information on his own or that just stands to be another thing of mistrust between them. Like you said.

SQT said...

I don't blame her for wanting to find the other woman, but maybe it's better if she doesn't know; That way she can't visualize seeing them together. On the other hand, if she kicks his ass out for good, maybe it wouldn't matter.

I've always thought I would kick my husband to the curb if he cheated on me, and I probably still would. But it amazes me how many women don't. I've known more than one woman in this situation and most of them seem to take the husband back, and each time it flabbergasts me.

One husband still insists he never slept with the other woman, even though the other woman left a note in their (the married couples) bedroom for the wife to find. Um, how stupid does he think the wife is? But the wife apparently is stupid because she still tries to believe that it never went that far. Puleeeease! I think the other woman left the note in the bedroom to send a very clear message. But they had been married over 30 years and I think she was just too afraid to be alone. Sad.

I don't know how to do a reverse lookup without paying for it. I don't think most of those services are scams, but there may be a way to get around paying, I don't know.

I hope your friend finds a way to get through this. But it's not going to be easy. At least she's got friends to depend on.

scribbit said...

that's so sad, what a way for her to start out the new year. Hope she makes it through this.

Stacey said...

I think personally it is important to know the other woman's name. I wouldn't go after her, but how can you verify he doesn't go back to her if you don't know anything about her. . . .

Thinking of you, Annie. Good luck in whatever decision you make.

Sunrunner said...

Each situation is different. I don't think any one way of dealing with something like this works for everyone. I do think it's vitally important that she and he get themselves tested for any medical problems down the road. If homewrecker was willing to boink one married man, there may have been more. If the husband isn't willing to give her any and all information about the affair, he doens't really want forgiveness. He just wants her to sweep it under the rug so he doesn't really have to face the consequences of not being able to keep his pencil in his pocket. I would at least want her first name.

I am so sorry for your friend to go through this especially at this time of year. I hope she finds peace and comfort for her and her kids.

Morgen said...

Dumbass needs to have his head examined.
Every relationship is unique, and those people in it are the only ones who know if they & their relationship can survive infidelity.
But you're right, how can a man who has a family do this -- I always thought that was effin horrible to do to your family.
(This is my side, the kid who grew up in a broken home because of infidelity)

I smile every time I see that you've posted her cell #. If I could think of a way to get her name out of calling it, I would.
(I'm still thinking...)


Peanut said...

poor annie...

i looked up her # on, and this is what it said...

913) 207-4773
The name and address associated with this phone number are unlisted or private.

Phone Details
Type: Cell Phone
Provider: Nextel Communications
Location: KS (Kansas City)

sorry about not being able to find a name...

Hulai said...

well I am a firm believer that if the partner cheats that they should be out the door. YOU GO ANNIE!
About three years ago, I was at the end of a 4 year relationship. He called one night and said he wanted to come home to talk to me. We had been fighting and all so I knew he was coming home to leave. So I agreed. I was hurt but very sure that it was just that we were unhappy, nothing else. Well two weeks after he "visited" to leave me, I started getting calls to congratulate me on my engagement. I was baffled. Being that it was his family that was calling I was very confused. I then started digging. Found out that on his last business trip, he met a girl and she was who he was engaged to. The bitch even called me. She wanted me to quit digging around in to her business, being him. Then informed me i had to stop calling him. I hadnt even tried to call him at that point for almost three weeks. Then only to ask him when it would be safe to return his things to his mothers. After I hung up on the woman she then convinced him that they needed to come to my house to get his things. Yeah well his things had been returned to his mothers with in two weeks of this call. I moved then in January.
He and that woman showed up to my best friends house to harass me. They had heard I had moved and wanted to make sure it was not a ploy to make them think I was gone. WHAT! My best friend was very pregnant and in a high risk pregnancy at that. She was so upset at him bringing her to her house after watching me go nutty upon finding out about his affair. She ended up in the hospital that night, I still dont know exactly what was said between the two of them except that the stress put her into premature labor. Though they were able to stop that and she carried to full term thank you very much.
So yeah Im not a trusting person and the way I see it is even with kids, theres no reason I would take a cheater back. Though I dont look down on those who can make it work.

Sparky Duck said...

Men dont think we can ever get caught. Plus, what we think of as cheating is not always a woman's idea of cheating. So, we let our little brains do the thinking and we just think we are sooo darn smart.

Though since Ive been cheated on, I understand Annies frustration. Though knowing who the cheater is name wise does absolutely nothing to help the person being cheated on, accept maybe making you feel even stupider.

Sadie said...

Awesome that you posted her cell number. Has she tried calling it?

I'm sending you an email.

Heather said...

I completely understand why she wants her name. Annie doesn't want to stalk this woman or threaten her. But there is great power in just knowing who the woman is -- in the potential of what she "could" do.

And her husband is not ready to give her that power. He's obviously not ready to reconcile. He should be prostrate on the f-ing floor begging to keep his family. He should be relinquishing "control" of this situation by naming her. It seems he has yet to understand what his priorities should be. (Of course, I say this an outsider to the details.)

As my husband said, "Basically, a man and some woman are beating down two helpless kids and a vulnerable woman." Outstanding.

Additionally, from a practical standpoint, this guy needs to cut all communication with this woman, which probably means he should find another job before he's canned anyway.

I really feel for all of them -- except the horrible wench who's fucking a married guy.

There's my two cents. Anyone have change for a nickle?

Anonymous said...

I can relate to this one. I too have a dear friend to whom this happened. My friend lost everything in Hurricane Katrina, house, contents, clothes, plus since she relocated, she lost her daily life, friends, etc. Two small kids, under age 5. Her husband took her far away, to another city, for her "protection". His agenda: he'd been having an affair with a desperate childless bimbo 15 years older than she is! He moved in with Bimbo. Took all the money from their joint accounts. The Bimbo hates children, and is thrilled his family is out of the way. He never came back for his family. She controls his every move, and calls the wife everyday to harass her. BIMBO's cell is 504-905-8675. Just in case anyone wants to give her a piece of their mind!