Friday, January 12, 2007

Cookie Whore


Well, it’s that time again. Time for those damn Girl Scout cookies. After today, I think it is official – I am a cookie whore.

Every year, the little girls come around in November with their little sign-up sheets. And you don’t have to pay until you get the cookies – that’s part of their racket! Since you haven’t shelled out an arm and a leg yet for Christmas, and you’re just getting in the holiday mood, buying cookies sounds like a GREAT idea.

Then, two months later, the cookies arrive. The second week in January. About the same time as your credit card bills. And just in time to kick that New Year’s Resolution of losing weight right in the ass!

This year, I decided to embrace it. I knew they were coming, and I was looking forward to my shortbread cookies. Most people do the thin mints, which I also like, but the shortbreads are my favorite.

Here is where my problem began. My neighbor called yesterday afternoon and left a message that my cookies were here! Woo hoo! I immediately started craving the shortbread. I attempted to call her back about 10 times, but there was no answer, and apparently she is the only person in the free world who doesn’t have an answering machine.

By this morning, my craving had only escalated. When I got a hold of her today, I wanted my cookies now. Well, she wasn’t going to deliver the cookies to me because she’s all into having her granddaughter do it, teaching responsibility, yada yada. Whatever. I wanted my damn cookies! Unfortunately, I had to wait until her granddaughter got home after her Girl Scout meeting – sometime after 5 pm. Christ almighty.

Then, I asked her what cookies we bought. When they came around back in November, Eric was the one here. She told me that he ordered Thin Mints, Cartwheels, and Lemon something-or-others.

What? What about my shortbread cookies?!! Eric didn’t order me any shortbread cookies?

Oh, hell no!!

As luck would have it, our neighbor happened to have extra boxes, so she was able to include a box of shortbreads. Little did she know that she saved my husband’s life.

After that drama, I took Eli to preschool, and I stopped dead in my tracks when I walked in the door. There was a huge table of Girl Scout cookies right in front of the director’s office. I saw boxes of shortbread cookies! Thank God! Then I noticed the sign – “Cash and carry.” I checked my wallet, and I had exactly $1.00. Double crap!

Denied again, Georgia and I went to the grocery store. Every year at this time when I go to the store, there is a small army of Girl Scouts camped out front with cookies. This year, nothing! Arggghhh! At least I was able to get cash, so when I went to pick Eli up, I could get a box of cookies.

I was there early, but when I walked in, (are you ready for this?) no freaking shortbreads! I compromised, and got a box of those new Thanks-a-lot cookies. At this point, I needed something. They’re not bad, but not what I was craving.

Finally, at 5:22, there was a knock at the front door. My shortbread cookies had finally arrived. Yippee freaking skippy!!

I was just opening up my box when Eric came home.

“Umm, Neila,” he asked. “Why do we have five boxes of cookies?!”

Apparently, he didn’t realize he is married to a cookie whore.

13 comments:

Hulai said...

oh i understand! i love the peanut butter cookies!! ok gosh im gonna be a cookie whore too!!

Desert Songbird said...

My friend LD is a brownie troop leader, and their troop is just now taking orders for delivery in February, so, alas, I must wait for my shortbread. Yes, I, too, am not only a cookie whore but a shortbread whore as well. Long, long time ago, they were called Scot-teas...

Sigh...must.have.cookies.must.have...

Sh*t - guess I'll go pour myself a drink to take my mind off of cookies.

Penny said...

I know where you're coming from on this one! I love the Thin Mints and the Caramel Delights the best! There's not too many Girl Scout cookies I don't like! Jim wouldn't have ordered the right cookies for me either! Oh my gosh, I think I'm a cookie whore, too!

SQT said...

We're selling Girl Scout cookies for the first time this year. So I am the cookie-selling whore.

I'm sending my husband off with the order form tomorrow, then I'm going to go to my mother-in-law's office with my daughter to beg them to buy. And if that's not enough, we'll probably have to do the door-to-door thing. I hope we meet a lot of buyers like you. :)

SQT said...

Oh, and my husband's buying 10 boxes! Yes! I love the freaking Samoas!

desperate debbie said...

ah the insanity that comes with reproduction. your blog is great

Sparky Duck said...

The GS here are brillant, they camp out at the 7-11, so you can get your morning or afternoon vice (coffee, nicotine, red bull) and follow it up with a sugar rush as well.

Morgen said...

Ah... girl scout cookies. The peanut butter ones are my favorite.
They either don't have Girl Scouts in sw michigan, or they haven't found me yet. Don't those chippies have fat man cookie craving radar?
The only thing I've been hit up for here has been boy scouts selling popcorn. For starters, pop corn is NOT the same as cookies, and secondly, I'm gay so I cannot support the boy scouts (which has anti-gay, discriminatory language in their charter). But now you have me craving cookies...
I'm glad that the neighbor was able to save Eric's life, by the way.

Slackermommy said...

From one cookie whore to another; shortbread are my fave too!

Sadie said...

Yummy... I could eat my weight in thin mints...

Sunrunner said...

This post reminds me of the line from Corky Romano - "Ya want, to buy some cookies?" as he's standing at the door in a Girl Scout Uniform.

Yes, I'm weird. I've been up all night and have had a cold for the past 3 days.

scribbit said...

I love Ben and Jerry chocolate mint cookie ice cream. It's got chocolate-mint girlscout cookies in it. Fabulous.

Tisha said...

*LOL* I still have some in the freezer from last year...but I'm sure hubby or myself will get talked into buying more! Grrr...