Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Trick or treat?

Thank the freaking Lord Halloween is over! I now need a couple of weeks to relax before the real scary holidays start.

Eli seemed well-rested and in a much better mood on Halloween morning. The kids got to wear their Halloween costumes to preschool, and he was very excited about that. His Sportacus costume has a button on the chest. When you push it, it will say something like, “There’s trouble in Lazytown!” or “Help is on the way!” complete with Icelandic accent. I didn’t realize there was a switch on the back of the little crystal that would cause it to play music . . . continuously. Eli discovered that this morning. Right as we were walking into preschool.

How many moms get to walk down the hall with their own theme music. Oh yeah! That wasn’t embarrassing at all! Eli was excited because they got to “trick-or-treat” at school. This meant I got to look forward to him bouncing off the walls when he got home. Fabulous.

Eli’s teachers looked adorable. They’re these little grandmotherly women, and one was dressed like a giant pumpkin, and one like a clown. It was cute. On my way out, I passed the preschool director, Miss Nicky. I had to do a double take when I saw her. I think she was supposed to be dressed as a flapper. But when I first saw her, I thought, “Why is Miss Nicky dressed like a whore?” She had on a very short skirt with fringy things complete with fishnet stockings and high heels. WTF?! Are you freaking kidding me? Apparently, the preschool director thinks she’s running a brothel.

After we dropped off Eli, Georgia and I ran some errands, including a stop at Scooter’s in which I heard the Scooter’s girl exclaim how she was extremely hormonal. Without thinking, I asked if she was pregnant, and then remembered she is a raging lesbian. I try to stick my foot in my mouth on a daily basis. At least I got it out of the way early. She gave me a very odd look. “Uhhhh . . . no.” My day was off to a groovy start.

After a Target run, I came home, and even with my sinus infection, I could smell Georgia’s diaper. I remember the worst poopy diaper I had ever changed (as I’m sure many of you parents do). It was right after Eli started solid foods, and we fed him spaghetti. Not pretty.

Well, I had one today that topped that. Last night, we had chili for dinner. Oh, sweet Lord in heaven, Georgia did not process that well. After changing that diaper, I don’t think I will ever be able to eat chili again. And I don’t even have my complete sense of smell intact. Eric should be thankful he wasn’t around for that one.

After a long day, I decided to take my reward. Eric bought Nestle crunch to hand out to the trick-or-treaters. He also brought fruit chews home from work. I made the executive decision to hand out the fruit chews and keep the chocolate for myself. Because dammit, I needed the chocolate more than the trick-or-treaters.


Momish said...

I hoarded all my favorite candies too. Now, I feel bad, we have soooo many left over. It's a good thing it is over, as fun as it is. I am exhausted! Love the theme song music. What a vision!

SQT said...

I only bought candy that I wouldn't eat, otherwise I'd be in a sugar coma for a month.

Fortunately (or unfortunately) we live in a premium candy giving neighborhood and I am stocked up on enough reese's cups, twix, kit kat's and almond joys to keep me in chocolate nirvana for a good while.

Mommy will trade you 5 nerds for one kit kat, that's a good deal huh? ((ten minutes later and no nerds left)) Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt!

Hulai said...

Oh good, sweet, chocolate!
Theme music eh! Thats just wonderful!
Sounds like you had a spectacular day!
Im not looking forward to the other holidays either! Esp. now that we are getting ready to make an offer on a house, that wouldnt close til at least Nov 30th!! Grr!!

Morgen said...

I have the mini reeses cups hidden behind my laptop screen.
Oh, I give out the Krispies Hershey's Miniatures (Yes, I keep the special darks & mr goodbars!), but the mini reeses cups are MINE, ALL MINE!
(I even hid them from Janna when she visited the store, how much of a chocoholic am I? not even sharing with your best friend?)

The description of the brothel-running Miss Nicky had me laughing, then of course there was the "raging" lesbian. Ha!!! How funny is that?!?

So, is Sportacus' #10 button hidden now, or are the batteries just mysteriously disappeared?

I won't even go there about Georgia's diaper... to be able to smell it even with a sinus infection... that's for that sensory visual...

Rest up: Thanksgiving is just around the corner!

jenny mclellan said...

I laughed out loud at you and Eli walking down the hall to theme music. Although I envisioned you in a cape or something, which I know you weren't wearing. :)

Sparky said...

Hey just because shes a raging lesbian doesnt mean she cant be pregnant, look at Melissa Etheridge, or her girl friend rather.

Yep, no chili for me this week, my imagination is running wild.

Irene said...

Hilarious! I am totally dying to meet that flapper whore of a pre-school director. Bwahaha! :p

Aaron said...

raging lesbian doesn't even come close to defining Kendra.... the worlds most immature, bitchy, annoying, backstabing, raging lesbian is more like it. And she informed me that she would never want to pop out a kid.. she said that she would be afraid to lose her figure.. haha that is funny..

Cheryl said...

I love Lazytown! (I mean my kids do) That must have been such a cute costume!