Thursday, November 02, 2006

13 Reasons My Daughter Won't Nap

This week’s Thursday Thirteen was inspired by this afternoon’s events. I tried for two hours to get my daughter down for a nap. Nine of these thirteen happened today!

1. My cat – Maybe it’s because he’s part Siamese, but my cat has this incessant meow. It doesn’t even sound like a meow. It sounds like a loud low-pitched moan. He does it for no other reason than to piss me off. He had food and water, so there was no other reason for him to sit outside Georgia’s room and meow other than his apparent death wish.

2. My neighbor – My neighbor decided to mow his freaking lawn right after I put Georgia down. It’s November for crissake! Who the hell mows their lawn in November?!

3. Tornado siren – Every week, the city decides to test the tornado siren. Again, it’s November!!!! We are well past tornado season. Anyway, they’re supposed to test it at the same time every week. They don’t. They specifically wait just until my daughter has dozed off. The bastards.

4. Eli – For a skinny boy, my son sounds like a herd of elephants running down the hall. As soon as Georgia starts to doze, he bounds past her room to the bathroom right across the hall and slams the door. Georgia’s screaming ensues.

5. Telephone – I am going to rip that damn thing out of the wall. It’s not like it just rings once during her naptime. It rings off the damn hook.

6. UPS Man – Between Passion Parties and Discovery Toys, he comes often. Does he have to beat on the f*cking door every time he leaves a package. That is not necessary. Eventually I will notice there is a box on my doorstep.

7. Poop – Invariably Georgia waits until I put her down for her nap to poop. Then she cries until I come to change her. *sigh* The children are trying to gaslight me.

8. Batteries – Of all the damn things that could go wrong, the batteries in Georgia’s music attached to her crib went out. She was extremely pissed off when she pushed that little button and nothing happened.

9. Pacifier – I clip the damn thing to her shirt, and she still manages to lose it. I have decided that she rips it off and throws it out of the crib the second I leave her room just so I will come back in.

10. Kids playing outside – It amazes me how much noise small children can make outside. I felt like taking out the little punks with a bibi gun.

11. TV – This really goes under the Eli category. I always try to sit him in front of the TV when Georgia naps in hopes of keeping him quiet. Unfortunately he feels the need to turn up the TV and sing and dance (jump) when a good song comes on Noggin. Grrrrr . . .

12. Teeth – Two more molars popped through this week. My life would be much easier if Georgia would let me give her Tylenol. But no. She would rather stand in her crib, cry and chew on her fingers.

13. Me – By the time the child did fall asleep today, I had to turn around and wake her up because we had to leave for an appointment. Yes, I tried for two hours to get her down and then woke her up after an hour and a half. I’m sure she does not appreciate mommy’s cruel joke.

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Chelle Y. said...

Oh, I miss and I don't miss those days! :)

crazymumma said...

awww, standin in her crib chewing her fingers....poor her, poor you. Um, ya ever tried the suppositories....?

Haley-O said...

Ohhh, I hear you!!! And, mine won't nap because she NEVER GETS TIRED! ;)

Better Safe Than Sorry said...

my youngest is 11 and i sure don't miss those days at all. but i feel for you, especially #13.
i'm doing the tt this week too.

Colleen said...

Your blog posts never cease to crack me up. My husband always wants to mow the lawn after I put the kid down. Over my dead body!!! Nap times suck sometimes.

MysteriousLady said...

I don't miss those days! Hang in there. It gets better.

Happy TT!

Bubba said...

After visiting a pair of newborn twins last weekend, I was told that I looked so cute holding them that I need my own.

I am sending this post to each person who told me that.

Poor mommy...hope tomorrow goes better! Happy TT!

Penny said...

Sounds like you had a mommy day from hell! I'm going to have the same kind of problems as Charlie gets older because he hates taking naps already. He fights sleep like a sumo wrestler! I hope tomorrow brings a much better day for mommy!

amy said...

Hope Georgia naps well soon!!!! This was a great post and when we get our daughter, I cant wait to remember these

Mine is up! Please stop by to vote for our daughters name!!! said...


Morgen said...

Do they make toddler valium?
or tylenol pm for kids?

How 'bout sound proof baby rooms?
Maybe she needs a white noise machine to drown out the other things...

I was hoping for the 13 versions of Point That Penis Doooowwwn today, but this put a smile on my face.

Especially the part that you make the UPS drive come a lot. :)

Happy TT!

slackermommy said...

Oh, the dreaded poop! I hate waiting for them to poop so you can put them down. Stall tactics start even before they can talk!

What about the garbage truck? For awhile ours came right smack in the middle of naptime. They stopped after I left a plate of brownies with a note pleading for them to come earlier.

Heather said...

Ugh! I can so relate to this entry. My little guy is at that stage where he's really fighting the arvo nap. Sometimes, if there's something else happening, I just avoid it altogether. ;-)

Momish said...

Yep! All of those and then some. I did the same thing to my daughter on Halloween; the minute she finally fell asleep, I woke her up to go out. Poor things!

MommyBa said...

I hope her next nap days would be better. It's really hard to establish that nap time routine. I have the same problem with my little guy.

Happy Thursday!

The Imperfect Christian said...

It sounds like you either need to kill everyone on the list, or put Georgia in a soundproof room! I'm opting for the latter option! Good luck!!

Jennifer said...

Gosh, one of those days...I miss days like that...not!!

hope the next nap goes better, I remember defending nap time with my life...My last 2 babies I finally got a noise maker that did sound of waves, that worked to drown out some stuff and gave them something to focus on and go back to sleep to.

Jenny in Ca

Courtney said...

Oh I feel for you! Luckily we avoid several of those things (such as neighbors, etc) by living out in the boonies! lol But then again, my youngest (age 2) won't take naps at home on the weekends anymore anyway, so I've given up trying.

Sparky said...

wow kids and cats can be so darned cruel. Though I think I would go outside and strangle the lawnmower man.

N. Mallory said...

These are similar to the reasons I can't nap usually. Though mine usually also involve two cats and a dog.

Racy Li said...

This is why I'm not having kids for awhile :)

My TT is up here!

Cheryl said...

My cat does that too. I'd like to strangle him but he's my hubby's pride and joy.