Thursday, November 30, 2006

13 Things About My Week

Okay, I started Christmas shopping this week. I am in the minority of women because I hate to shop. You will find that many of this week's 13 deal with how much I despise the freakishly large commercialized hellhole where most people do their shopping The Mall.

1. I hate the Mall with an ever-growing passion. There is a wig kiosk in the mall, which in and of itself is strange. What is even weirder is that the small Asian woman who works at the wig kiosk runs out into the mall to try to get you to buy “hair.” My husband thought I was insane when he asked how my trip to the mall was and I responded, “I was accosted by a short Asian woman who tried to sell me hair.” Seriously!

2. My son Eli has decided he wants a juicer for Christmas. I don’t even know how he knows what a juicer is. I think he learned it from LazyTown. When we asked if we wanted us to add “juicer” to his Christmas list, he said, “Well, I don’t want to ask for too much.” Sometimes my son is so sweet that it makes my heart hurt.

3. I love pie. I made three pies for Thanksgiving. There was about half of each pie leftover. It took my husband, myself and my son two days flat to finish off all three pies. Apparently, they also love pie.

4. I hate the Mall. Wait. Did I say that already? It makes me claustrophobic. It takes up an exorbitantly large number of city blocks, yet I feel claustrophobic when I’m inside. Maybe it’s all the people, or the fact that I’m not near an exit in case of a fire. Whatever it is makes me break out into a cold sweat if I’m in the damn place for more than 20 minutes.

5. My daughter was an 80’s groupie in a past life. That is the only excuse I can think of. You all know her love of Asia. This week, she demonstrated her headbanging (I’m not kidding – genuine headbanging while in her carseat) to “Pour Some Sugar On Me” by Def Leppard. I have never seen anything like it.

6. The great escape. When I had my daughter in the mall, I discovered she can escape her stroller in 4 seconds flat. I was paying for underwear coffee while pushing the stroller back and forth to keep her entertained. All of a sudden, the stroller was lighter. I looked down, and she was across the store! Apparently, she wiggles her legs out of the restraint and slides out the bottom of the stroller. My kids are too damn smart.

7. I don’t like Winter. I always think I can deal with it as long as there is not ice and snow. Well, yesterday was the first day it got cold. The weather forecast said “maybe” some sleet. At 2:00, I looked out my window. There was sleet. And snow. And about an hour later, freezing rain. I hate Winter.

8. McDreamy. Okay, first of all, the mall near my house is not stroller friendly. There are stairs (2-3 steps going up or down) every few feet in the mall). If you have a stroller or wheelchair, you have to zigzag up and down ramps. It’s very annoying. Yesterday, I was strolling along, and all of a sudden came upon a store that had a larger than life poster of McDreamy in their window. I couldn’t help but stare. Unfortunately, I kept moving. I almost strolled my daughter down a flight of stairs! Are these people trying to kill me?!

9. Eli has a girlfriend. After shopping, I went to pick my son up from preschool. Eli has apparently developed a relationship with a 3-year-old named Savannah. She’s a thumb-sucker. He actually kissed her on the shoulder when we left!!! I am totally not ready for this yet.

10. Sonic cheesecake bites – This was my reward for surviving the mall. These are the best damn things I have ever tasted in my life. They come complete with a strawberry dipping sauce. I know I use the word orgasmic a lot, but there’s really no other way to describe these!

11. I discovered a new show. It was on the other night after Charlie Brown Christmas. It’s called Big Day. The entire season is the couple’s wedding day. It was freaking hysterical. Anyone who has ever planned a wedding will truly appreciate this show!

12. Silky Sheets – This is my favorite Passion product. Besides getting rid of that pesky wet spot, it absorbs odors. I sprayed it in the cat box area yesterday before the furnace guy came. It completely took away the cat odor! No litter box smell after I sprayed it. I am ordering a case of this stuff!!

13. Mysterious stains– Whenever my husband does laundry, at least one item of my clothing comes back to me with a mysterious stain on it. I've lost four damn shirts this way. Yesterday's sweater had a bright orange stain, and today, my shirt had a big hot pink splotch on the back. What the hell?!

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kontan said...

I'll join you in the minority. I despise the mall and I'm not fond of shopping. I'm really thinking of online purchases this year.

kontan said...

oh, I'm up at

elementaryhistoryteacher said...

My list is up.....13 things I remember from growing up

I saw a sign at the local Sonic today advertising the cheesecake bits. Now I will have to stop by and get me some of those.

I loved the recap of your week.

Southern Girl said...

Oh, no...I'd never heard of Sonic cheesecake bites before this and now I'm afraid I'm going to be haunted by thoughts of them! I bet they were seriously good. :)

Happy TT!

Michael - Lover of Amy said...

You must share my blog with your daughter as I have created the Friday Flashback, weekly posts of classic 80's video(s). Last week's was Christmas, tomorrow may be special guest star (celebs in band's videos)

scribbit said...

mystery stains, ha!

Le laquet said...

I'd have fallen down the stairs faced with that poster of McDreamy too! In fact it would have made going to the shopping centre/mall worthwhile ... loved your tt!

Jennifer said...

oh, I can relate to #1 and #4-which were the same...feeling strongly are we? I usually love to shop, but I hate the mall during christmas time.
your tt seems to be a familiar list this week with other TT's.

blessings to you this week, I hope your week slows down!

Jenny in Ca
my tt is up, come visit!

Skittles said...

Had to gaze at that picture for a little while :) Happy TT!

Bubba said...

What a funny list! I'm still trying to picture your daughter, in a car seat, headbanging to the 80s....

Happy TT!

Julie in Texas said...

I am with you, I hate the mall! Give me open air and little shops anytime. My mother used to laugh because if I had to go to the mall I would know exactly which store I needed to go to and then would park by the closest entrance so I could run in and out.

Happy TT!

Shannon said...

You're not alone. I avoid the mall like it has some plague during the holidays. People are mean; no one smiles and the place becomes a dump.

Have a great Thursday!

Morgen said...

I can't tell you the last time I was in a mall...
oh yeah, must've been September.
For Bath & Body Works Amber shower gel.
Bath & Body Works is about the only thing that will get me into a mall.

I love it that Eli wants a juicer!
Ha -- how funny is it that that's what Lee & I asked his mom for for Christmas! We got a HUGE box delivered by UPS the other day from JC Pennys -- and in 4" letters on the box, it says JUICER.
So much for the mystery of what's in the box, Lee said.
But we have a juicer now!
(this is my secret plan to get Lee to ingest more fruits & veggies --- shhhhh don't tell!)

Great TT! I think I may have to get me some of that Silky Sheets (for litter box control, of course! Not for the wet spot!!!!!)

love ya,

Stephanie said...

I have to agree with you on all counts of the mall SUCKING! Funny TT!

SQT said...

The first Sonic in our area just opened up.

Cheesecake bites? I'm in trouble.

Sadie said...

That? Is the best pic of McDreamy I've ever seen. Oh my.

N. Mallory said...

Your mall thoughts crack me up. Especially the first one.

I too hate the mall but only during the holiday season. It's really the crowds I hate. I can't stand all of the people invading my space, threatening the fire code, etc. I don't know why, but I seem to be the only one who can feel the whole second floor of L.L. Bean or the mall trembling beneath the extra weight and movement of Christmas shoppers. It just makes me feel faint.

Online shopping was invented for me.

Stacey said...

First, I know the picture in the Mall you are talking about of Mr. Dreamy and it is a hot picture too! Second, I want to add that we hate those darn stairs in the mall too!

Sparky Duck said...

wet spot, what wet spot?

We need a Sonic out here, they look so tasty!

Hmm, we get attacked by the people who think we want a quick manicure, you get attacked by wig people. Wanna trade?

Anonymous said...

I hate the mall and make it a point of not going most of the time. You gotta be a really special person on my list to get me to go there this time of year! I don't like winter very much either but at least here we don't see snow and ice too much. Love that pic of McDreamy! I saw the sign for Sonic cheesecake bites and I will have to try them now!