Monday, April 23, 2007

Manic Monday - Sun


This week’s Manic Monday word is Sun. When I think Sun, I immediately think sunburn. Maybe that’s because my heritage is Irish and German, or maybe it’s just because God forgot to put pigment in my skin. Either way, I’m pretty much screwed when it comes to the sun.

I despise the people who tan so easily – like my husband. Even when he burns, it turns into a tan. What the hell? When I burn, I blister, peel, and freckle. And now that I’m getting older those freckles look more like age spots. I thanked God when they came out with tanning cream. I don’t even care if it makes me look a little orangy. Trust me – it’s better than looking like Casper the Surly Ghost walking down the street in the middle of July.

But I am here to tell you about the worst sunburn I have ever had. I was in third or fourth grade – so that would put me about age 8 or 9. Every year in our town, all of the elementary schools got together for a city-wide track meet. I’ve never been the athletic type, so I considered that a special form of torture. I remember specifically that they MADE us participate in three events. I always did shot put, since that was about the only event that didn’t involve running. Then I usually chose long jump – minimal running.

After that, the teachers usually stuck me in some sort of a race. I always hated that part. The 50 yard dash was my favorite because at least it was over quickly. The ones I despised the most were the relays with the batons. Dude! As if the whole running part isn’t bad enough, then you have the pressure of trying not to drop the baton on top of it. But the absolute worst was hurdles. I’d like to know who came up with that idea. Some sadistic f*ck liked to see kids practically kill themselves tripping over large hurdles and going down on the hard track. Not. Cool.

Ooo! I take that back. There was one event that was worse. Are you ready for this? The turtle race! It was for all of the slow kids. I mean the non-athletic kids, the fat kids, or the kids in Special Ed. As if children don’t have it hard enough, let’s give all the other kids one more reason to tease them by putting them in the turtle race!

One thing I did like is that you got a ribbon no matter how bad you were. There were usually six kids per event. I have a lot of sixth place ribbons.

Anyway, back to the sunburn. The track meets lasted all day. My mom always loaded me up with sunscreen, but this year, the sun was particularly brutal. I had the sunscreen smeared all over my cheeks and arms, but there were a couple of areas we didn’t think about. I had very light blonde hair to go with my fair skin. That day, it was in a pony tail. When I got home and took my pony tail down, I screamed in complete and utter pain. I had been burned on the top of my head! I never thought your scalp could get sunburned, but it did.

You can’t imagine how painful that was. My hair hurt. I could not comb it or pull it back or do anything because my head was so sunburned. On top of that, the tops of my ears got sunburned to the point of blistering. F*cking ouch!!!

That just solidified my hatred of the track meet. It took days for my head to get to a point where I was able to comb my hair. After that I wore hats. And I don’t even look good in hats! The sun is definitely not my friend. But at least I learned my lesson. Needless to say my kids get very annoyed with me in the summer when I put sunscreen in their hair.




15 comments:

Travis said...

Ouch! Sunburns on the head and the ears - I'm cringing just thinking about it.

Janna said...

Ouch is right! I remember the worst sunburn I had-- it actually made me nauseous, the discomfort was so bad.

I have lousy memories of school races too. Miserable rotten things...

Meloncutter said...

LOL, I am half Irish and a good chunk English with a touch of the dutch, and I just tan.

Sorry.... (snicker)

Later Y'all

Donna said...

Hmmm, I guess I should go to the entry I did yesterday evening and re-title it "manic Monday". It's a picture of a sunburn! Nah, I'll leave it be.

Gattina said...

You know I didn't like (and still do not) sport ! Although at that age I was rather a skinny minny. I just hated it and I too have got a sunburn on my head but even worse together with a heat stroke ! I can tell you that was the worst thing I can remember ! Not only I had my head and ears hurting but also high fiever and stomac troubles. Since that time I never go out in the sun without a cap. Usually I get easily brown although I am blond but there the sun must have been especially strong !

Jamie said...

You poor soul, do try to stay away from direct sun it's not good for even those who do tan. If you do get another one, remember cold tea. Takes out a lot of the burn even better than any of the lotions.

Sanni said...

*OUCH*!!! I feel for you... although I´m German my heritage is Italian and Spanish - so I tan easily... with some little freckles on my nose. I got a sunburn once in my life so far. I fell asleep on a catamaran in the Dominican Republic - I looked like a lobster when I woke up... but my scalp wasn´t sunburnt. I´ve had a very nice white stripe on my forehead... I loved my basecap for this =)

Desert Songbird said...

Believe it or not, I have actually burned once in my life, and it was the very first time I went to the beach in Florida. I must have been about the same age as you were in your story - 9 years old.

It was brutal - all across the back and tops of my shoulders. I remember living with Noxema on my skin that summer.

I live where we average 300 days of sunshine a year, so I don't think you'll be visiting me anytime soon!

Skittles said...

I "tan" the same way as you.. while my kids walked around all nice and healthy looking.

And Field Day! Oh the trauma that memory brings back! LOL

I have a special MM up today!

Michele said...

Oh, I hear you about sunburns. I am also a descendant of German and being fair and blond that darn sun can seek me out like a guided missile and it attacks my head all the time. I detest hats because my hair is so thick and curly the darn things just won't stay on. I really don't want to subject myself to the ole wrap the scarf around the hat until I hit at least 80 years old so I will remain friends with Mr. Shade a little longer.
Take care!

Comedy + said...

I found this piece very funny. Not that I like sunburns either, but the way you put the whole thing was very funny. Excellent job and something I never thought of for "sun"... Happy MM and stay out of the sun :)

Danielle said...

I am just like your husband I'm afraid. I burn due to my Irish, English and Scottish heritage but the drop of Italian turns the burn into a nice tan.

Happy MM

Be well and enjoy the day

Crazy Working Mom said...

When I get sun burned, I get blisters...I've had blisters on my lips more times than I care to count! I can sympathize with you, believe me.

VegasGirl said...

OMG! I laughed so hard when I read this because I had forgotten about the trauma of those outdoor school races. I always got chosen for the shotput and long jump. As for the running event, I was always the last in line or the first in line for the baton. And what an awful time my PE teacher Mr. Stocker used to give me!

When I was a kid, I always tanned, but somewhere along about 16 I lost that ability! Now I do nothing but burn. Very sad.

Anonymous said...

This post is soooooooo hilarious. I cried and laughed at the same time while trying to pretend I'm working.