Manic Monday - Sun

This week’s Manic Monday word is Sun. When I think Sun, I immediately think sunburn. Maybe that’s because my heritage is Irish and German, or maybe it’s just because God forgot to put pigment in my skin. Either way, I’m pretty much screwed when it comes to the sun.

I despise the people who tan so easily – like my husband. Even when he burns, it turns into a tan. What the hell? When I burn, I blister, peel, and freckle. And now that I’m getting older those freckles look more like age spots. I thanked God when they came out with tanning cream. I don’t even care if it makes me look a little orangy. Trust me – it’s better than looking like Casper the Surly Ghost walking down the street in the middle of July.

But I am here to tell you about the worst sunburn I have ever had. I was in third or fourth grade – so that would put me about age 8 or 9. Every year in our town, all of the elementary schools got together for a city-wide track meet. I’ve never been the athletic type, so I considered that a special form of torture. I remember specifically that they MADE us participate in three events. I always did shot put, since that was about the only event that didn’t involve running. Then I usually chose long jump – minimal running.

After that, the teachers usually stuck me in some sort of a race. I always hated that part. The 50 yard dash was my favorite because at least it was over quickly. The ones I despised the most were the relays with the batons. Dude! As if the whole running part isn’t bad enough, then you have the pressure of trying not to drop the baton on top of it. But the absolute worst was hurdles. I’d like to know who came up with that idea. Some sadistic f*ck liked to see kids practically kill themselves tripping over large hurdles and going down on the hard track. Not. Cool.

Ooo! I take that back. There was one event that was worse. Are you ready for this? The turtle race! It was for all of the slow kids. I mean the non-athletic kids, the fat kids, or the kids in Special Ed. As if children don’t have it hard enough, let’s give all the other kids one more reason to tease them by putting them in the turtle race!

One thing I did like is that you got a ribbon no matter how bad you were. There were usually six kids per event. I have a lot of sixth place ribbons.

Anyway, back to the sunburn. The track meets lasted all day. My mom always loaded me up with sunscreen, but this year, the sun was particularly brutal. I had the sunscreen smeared all over my cheeks and arms, but there were a couple of areas we didn’t think about. I had very light blonde hair to go with my fair skin. That day, it was in a pony tail. When I got home and took my pony tail down, I screamed in complete and utter pain. I had been burned on the top of my head! I never thought your scalp could get sunburned, but it did.

You can’t imagine how painful that was. My hair hurt. I could not comb it or pull it back or do anything because my head was so sunburned. On top of that, the tops of my ears got sunburned to the point of blistering. F*cking ouch!!!

That just solidified my hatred of the track meet. It took days for my head to get to a point where I was able to comb my hair. After that I wore hats. And I don’t even look good in hats! The sun is definitely not my friend. But at least I learned my lesson. Needless to say my kids get very annoyed with me in the summer when I put sunscreen in their hair.