Party Favors

On Sunday, we went to the birthday party of my friend Amy’s son Chase. He just turned three. It was a small party because in addition to Chase, Amy has a 13-year-old daughter, and a newborn baby who is about a month old. I don’t think she wanted the stress of a lot of people.

The party theme was Diego, and I think Georgia just about peed herself when we walked in. “DIGOGO!!” Oh jeez. The kids seemed to have a very good time. There was lots of cake and ice cream and games. Tori, the 13-year-old had a friend over, and they stood there the entire time looking very annoyed. Isn’t that the look for kids these days – the constant eyeroll?

My friend Heather and I did have fun teasing Tori. You remember Heather – the one who got married last summer. Well, Tori mentioned how a guy in her class kept asking her to go out with him, but she didn’t like him because he’s “a retard.” We asked what exactly “going out” entails when you’re 13. This got us a few eyerolls and sighs. Apparently when you are going out, it means you are boyfriend/girlfriend. Heather said, “Oh, it means you’re going together.” I said, “Oh yeah, when I was in school, a guy would ask, ‘Will you go with me?’” Tori burst out laughing at that. Apparently, that was the stupidest thing she had ever heard. Uh-huh. And “going out” makes so much more sense when you’re not even going anywhere!

Then later Georgia threw one of her fits because she and Eli were fighting over chalk. Without thinking, I relayed the stories of Georgia’s legendary temper tantrums. Then, I cornered Heather and asked if she would want to babysit on Monday, July 2, so Eric and I can go to the Goo Goo Dolls concert. That caused her to look at me in horror. “You just told me Georgia’s in a screaming phase! Are you crazy?! I don’t do kids! I wouldn’t know what to do with her.”

Then I tried to tell Heather how easy it would be. She wasn’t buying it. So I tried a different tactic of how Eric and I never get a night out together by ourselves. I think that got her. She said she would talk to her husband, BL, about it. BL is less into kids than Heather is, so it will be interesting to see how that goes.

After a couple of hours, the kids had worn themselves out and began acting crazy, so we decided it was time to go. Amy gave us our little goodie bags, and we left. While in the car, I looked in Georgia’s goodie bag. There were three bags of candy, some pencils, and a whistle. . . a whistle?!!! Are you f*cking kidding me. I looked in the back seat as Eli was pulling out his whistle. Then I looked at Eric. “I think I’m going to have to kill Amy.” She’s going to pay for this one.