Friday, April 13, 2007

The Brush

Okay, rarely do I buy make-up. I have to get the dermatology-tested stuff or my face breaks out, and I always wait until I’m completely out because that shit is expensive, and I hate to spend the money. Not only that, but I refuse to buy make-up unless I’m getting a free bonus. Dude! I have to take out a loan to buy eye shadow – a "free bonus" is the least they could do!

I have been out of powder for a week and a half waiting on a damn bonus. Finally, this week, Clinique was having a bonus. Finally.

I dropped Eli off at preschool, and Georgia and I headed to the mall to wait in line at the Clinique counter. Chipper, perky Lois came to help me, and fetched my powder, while telling me that I was only $3 away from the bonus. Of course I was. You had to spend $21.50 to get the bonus, and my powder was $18.50.

Before I could say anything, Lois had an inspiration. “I know!” she shouted. "You need a powder brush." Well, f*ck me. How did I ever live without a powder brush? Lois pulled out a very large powder brush (pictured at right), took off my glasses and began dabbing powder all over my face. I said, “Okay, that is nice.”

She went over to the register to ring it up, while I asked, “How much is the brush?”

Lois said, “Oh, it’s only $30.”

Cough. Cough. WHAT?!! “$30?!” I screamed. “For a brush?! Are you freaking kidding me?!” She explained how that was such a great deal because at the Estee Lauder counter they charge $40.

Well, guess what, Lois, I’m not planning to buy a brush over there either. Let’s all say it together now – Wal-Mart!

I kindly explained that if I spent $30 on a make-up brush, my husband would beat me with it. She said, “But Mother’s Day is coming up!” Uh-huh. And if my husband buys me a $30 make-up brush for Mother’s Day, I’ll beat him with it.

Since I was only $3 away from the bonus, not $30, I asked if they sold anything for $3, to which Lois replied, “Uhhhh . . . no.” *sigh*

I ended up with eye shadow . . . for $13. That was at least somewhat closer. Then, Lois informed me that I was now only $3 away from the big bonus. Apparently, I would get a free bag. I just glared at her. “Well, I’m just saying. . .” she said.

I bid adieu to Lois and left her with my Passion Parties business card. When I told Eric that, he was incredulous. He couldn’t believe I had left her with a business card.

“Why not,” I asked. “She obviously knows how to upsell.”


Donna said...

You make me laugh SO hard! Thanks!

A.J.Reams said...

Holy crap...30 bucks for a powder brush! I can only imagine the look on your face when she rang it up.

Thanks for yet another laugh.

Sunrunner said...

WTF???? $30 for a freaking brush?? Of course, I don't wear make-up unless I have to, and I tried selling Mary Kay. I am not a seller. Ms. Lois however, may do well to sign up with you for Passion Parties!!!

VegasGirl said...

LoL. At my mom's instance, for my 18th birthday I went to a makeup counter for a "makeover" I generally don't like wearing makeup (probably cause I don't put it on well), but it was great to see her face when the sales lady tried to ring up over $250 of merchandise that I "needed" to have. Needless to say, we got a color chart and went to walmart. hehe

Kara said...

Holy crap! Wow! And that is another reason I just don't wear makeup lol. $30 for a brush?! LOL at giving her your card.

Morgen said...

She OBVIOUSLY does know how to upsell!
What a funny story - you should be keeping all this in a journal you know - the Mommy Diaries.
If I'm ever a hot shot publisher, you're on my short list for the best seller list!
Thanks for the laughs!


Skittles said...

THIRTY??? Did I read that right? (Looking again.) Yep. OMG!

Sadie said...

Hilarious! Those women are very good at getting you to spend more. Those tricky free gifts... That's how they getcha. I'm going to learn from Lois.

deltarebel said...

O-M-G! I am laughing so hard I am crying!!! Love this post!!

Crazy Working Mom said...

Too funny...thanks for the laugh. :)

Glad she didn't sucker into that
...$30 brush!

Desert Songbird said...

I used to be a Clinique-aholic. I still wear Happy - it's the only scent I'll wear. But I sell Avon, so I don't use Clinque cosmetics (for the most part) any more.

I AM looking for a good foundation primer. Does Clinique see one?