Flu shots

Today was one of those days I dread as a parent. Shot day. Jeez. I should have started my morning with a shot of tequila to keep in the theme.

It was time for Georgia’s 18-month check. (My baby is 18 months old!!!!! *sniff sniff*) And while I was at it, I decided to schedule Eli’s flu shot at the same time so I could just take care of everyone’s shots in one fell swoop.

Here’s the mistake I made. Eli got up this morning and asked, “Mommy, what are we doing today?” Apparently I hadn’t had enough coffee because I responded without thinking, “We’re going to the doctor today to get flu shots.” The second the words were out of my mouth, I was mentally bitch-slapping myself. I got the normal response any 4-year-old would give.

Wide saucer eyes and, “I am NOT going to the doctor! I don’t like shots! I am NOT getting a shot!”

Crap. There’s really not much you can do to repair that slip of the tongue. Our appointment wasn’t until 11:30, so this conversation lasted all morning. In case anyone was curious, it is impossible to reason with a 4-year-old who knows he is going to get shots. He looked like one of those activists who was going to chain himself to his bed because he didn’t want to go. I had to bribe him with McDonald’s, candy and a trip to the library just to get him in the car.

When we finally made it to the doctor, I was already exhausted. Amazingly, Eli perked right up. The have automatic doors, an elevator and games in the waiting room. He was in heaven. Until they called our name.

He started fake sneezing. He kindly informed the nurse that shots made him sneeze. Okay, that’s funny!

Anyway, we did Georgia’s exam first. After the whole Santa Claus incident yesterday, she was very leery when a strange man came at her with a stethoscope. Then they informed me that she was to get four shots today. Oh yippee.

Eli was up first. I truly admire my son. He is a remarkable kid. He barely flinched when they gave him his shot. All he had was a quick intake of breath, and then he was fine. Not only that, but then he helped the nurse and I hold down a screaming baby girl while they gave her four shots in the legs. He was trying to soothe her by saying, “Look Georgia! You get Dora band-aids!!!” My sweet sweet boy!!

Georgia unfortunately, was having none of it. She was bucking, screaming and crying in true fashion. It didn’t help that the nurse was the slowest person I had ever seen at giving shots. It also doesn’t help that I am on the verge of tears every time we get shots. It just about kills me to hold my baby down while someone inflicts pain on her.

I finally got her somewhat calmed down, then the nurse offered her a sucker. That was all she needed. Candy cures everything! One Dum-Dum, and she was happy as a clam.

On the way out, we were waiting at the check-out desk, which also has a huge bowl of suckers. There was a mom in front of us with two kids who wanted suckers. This woman hemmed and hawed about even letting them have one. And when she finally let them choose a sucker, she told them they couldn’t open it, and threatened them within an inch of their lives.

Maybe I shouldn’t reward my kids with candy, but Christ, that woman was just mean. When Eli asked if he could have a sucker, I said, “Honey, you did such a good job, you can have two. And get one for your sister.” Evil stare from bitchy mom.

Come on!! The kids just got shots. If I just had someone poking needles in me, I would want candy, too!! Is this woman on crack?!

Anyway, Eli ate the suckers, and then we went and devoured McDonald’s. Unfortunately, things went downhill from there as they often do on shot day. Everyone was fussy and a little sore. Luckily, both kids went to bed early, and Eric came home tonight with two bottles of wine.

Mmmm . . . maybe shot day isn’t so bad after all.