Accidents happen

I am so tired today, and it just occurred to me that I am way overdue on a Christmas song meme. Crap. I’ll bet I can finagle that into a Thursday 13 if I try hard enough. Hmmm . . . I shall work on that tomorrow.

Today was spent on the phone with PayNet Systems being as polite and courteous as I possibly could while I was mentally kicking the living shit out of them. Still no money. Grrrrr . . .

I won’t even go into the rest of my day, but it involved the Mall (oh yeah, now you get my mood), an ill-fitting bra, a surly Kinko’s employee with a British accent, and a very pissed off baby who was tired of my attempts to keep her in the stroller.

When we finally got done with our errands and went to pick up Eli at preschool, I was greeted by a little blond girl from Eli’s class who was leaving with her mom. She ran up to Eli and said, “Eli! Remember! We kissed!”

Excuse the hell out of me?!!

Her mom laughed and said, “Oh yes. Charlie (the girl) said she kissed Eli on the tummy.” WTF?! It’s a church preschool and the children are stripping off clothes to kiss each other’s body parts?! Dude! Eli is supposed to be learning his ABC’s, and now I have to worry about some promiscuous 4-year-old coming onto him. I am sooooo not down with this. Eric says I overreact. What the f*%# ever!

After that, I was ready for a break, so I went to shell out an arm and a leg to get my hair done. I decided on the spur of the moment that I needed a change from my summer blonde. My stylist has dark brown hair this week, which appealed to me. I said I wanted that color. She said no. *sigh* In the long run, this is why I love my stylist. She knows when I will regret something. She ended up doing lowlights in a brownish red, which mixes in nicely with the blond. On the way home I called Eric, and attempted to explain what lowlights were. He didn’t get it.

At that point, I felt I needed a treat, so I stopped at Sonic to get some of those cheesecake bites. Damn! Those things can take the edge off of anyone’s mood.
As it turns out, I needed the treat. When I got home, I was expectedly underwhelmed by Eric’s reaction to my hair. “Oh. It’s darker,” he said as he reached for the Sonic bag. Hmmm . . . maybe shaving my head would get a reaction.

No sooner had I finished my cheesecake bites, than in runs Eli naked from the waist down, screaming “Mommy!” I put my arms around a split second before he said, “I had an accident.” And my hand landed in poop. Oh, double crap! Literally. I then had to get myself and Eli cleaned up, which was not cool because he had eaten corn.

I am now going to go to bed and dream of that beach where I plan to vacation. There will be hot men. Thongs. Margaritas. And warm weather. Mmmmm . . .