Thursday, March 20, 2008

13 Kids Shows That Bug Me

Now before anyone sends me hate mail, let me just say that I love many of these children’s shows. However after watching them repetitively as my children do, I sometimes want to stab myself in the eyes with a ballpoint pen.

1. SpongeBob Squarepants – Dude, it’s really not funny. I seriously don’t get it.


2. Fairly Oddparents – Okay, this one is actually my favorite of them all. But after watching the Fairly Oddbaby movie about 500 times, it’s no longer funny. Even the voice of Ben Stein can’t help.

3. Max and Ruby – I swear, Ruby’s voice is that of the devil. Max needs to bitch slap her something fierce.

4. Wayside – The Wayside School is 30 stories high with one classroom on each floor. And there doesn’t seem to be an elevator. And the logistics of this seem to bother no one but me.

5. Little Bear – Okay, Little Bear’s parents wear clothes, and so do some of his friends. So why the hell does Little Bear run around naked? It’s a question for the ages.

6. Franklin – Have you seen Franklin and The Turtle Lake Treasure? It’s about Franklin’s grandma and how her parents died in a fire when she was a little girl. Any kid’s show that makes me cry REALLY pisses me off!

7. Ni Hao Kai-lan – I already have Georgia running around speaking Spanish because of Dora. Now she’s running around spouting Chinese. That’s a little more than I can handle. At least with Spanish, I know what the heck she’s saying.

8. Wow Wow Wubbzy – Georgia loves this show. The problem is that I think they only made about 10 episodes, and they show them over and over and over and over again.

9. Yo Gabba Gabba – Don’t get me started.

10. Teletubbies – When Eli was younger, I had to go through this phase with him. Now Georgia is into the Teletubbies and I am fighting the urge to take them all out with an assault rifle.

11. Dora the Explorer – I think Georgia will forever be in love with Dora. The problem is that now she keeps imitating Swiper The Fox. She likes to hide my stuff and say things like, “You’ll never see your phone now! Heh! Heh! Heh!” Yeah. That’s not cool.

12. Oobi – It’s a FREAKING HAND!!!!!

13. The Wonder Pets – A guinea pig, a turtle and a duckling board their flying toy sailboat, complete with marker caps for rocket exhausts, and go save animals. It’s a cute concept that I think I could buy if it were animated, but the photo-puppetry makes it a little too bizarre.

12 comments:

Reiza said...

I cannot stand the Wonder Pets. It seemed cute for the first few minutes, but OMG, it's the work of the devil.

I agree with your list completely except Ni Hao Kai-lan. I like that one.

What is Wayside? I've never heard of it, but it sounds like it may be inspired from the Mixed Up Stories of Wayside School which I LOVED as a kid. Books are always better, though, so I'm not even going to try to find that one on t.v.

Adelle said...

If you were listing 13 kids shows where the music drives you crazy, I'd add, Barnie and Polka Dot Door!
Happy T13!

Danica/Dream said...

Okay, completely agree with you here... except I think you need to add:

1. Boohbah (WHAT was UP with those things?)
2. Barney (I'm convinced he's a pedophile in disguise)

Mo said...

The only one on your list that I've seen is The Fairly Odd Parents. When this show is good, it's very witty. Unfortunately they seem to show the same three un-funny episodes over and over and over again.

Nicholas said...

I won't send you hate mail! I can't stand kiddie's TV. I grew out of it decades ago!

Thea said...

I'm with you on most of these...

Who in the hell ever thought that Yo Gabba Gabba would have lasted more than 1 episode.

I think DJ Lance needs to be dealt with in whatever way necessary to stop him from ever coming back...

Toni said...

I have not seen all of those and apparently that something to be thankful.

My 16 month old will not say Mommy but says Tubbies like he was born saying it!!!

I totally agree on your Wonder Pets eval.

DrillerAA said...

I've got three grand daughter that are all over Hannah Montana. Enough already!!!
Some of the cartoons are just sad.

Happy TT

mrsmogul said...

I Hate Teletubbies too!. Thank gawd I have no idea when it's on. Do you know that was SIMON COWELL's idea?!

Library Lady said...

Reiza's right--Wayside is based on "Sideways Stories From Wayside School", by Louis Sachar. It's been popular with kids for years and years.

And Max and Ruby are characters from Rosemary Wells' picture books.

Maizie is from a series of books too. I like the books, but that squeaky noise thing she does on TV is more irritating than anything except my enemy of enemies, Barney!

Deb - Mom of 3 Girls said...

I completely agree with you on most of these, but have to say that I love the Wonder Pets - it's one of the cutest shows and my girls adore it. :) And anything that teaches about teamwork and working together is a plus - my girls are so competitive that I find myself referencing the Wonder Pets quite often to get them to remember to work as a team.

Sunrunner said...

Just about the only kids' shows that my kids watched was Bear in the Big Blue House. Other than that, they watch old Looney Tunes and old Disney shorts. Oh and don't forget Scooby Doo, the old ones - not the ones with that aggrivating little Scrappy. I was so glad when he got his butt kicked at the end of the first movie.

Most of the kids shows make be feel very violent...