So Abused

Tonight, I went to a Cookie Lee jewelry party. Have you all ever been to one of these? I always think it’s good to go to other in-home parties, so I can get ideas, yada, yada. Plus, I got cool jewelry. I don’t even wear jewelry, and I spent almost $40. I also think the consultant hated me, because I was there to pimp Passion Parties! I sat right next to the Cookie Lee gal, and whenever someone would check out and pay for their jewelry, I would hand them a card and tell them to let me know if they wanted to book a Passion Party. I’m working it!!

Anyway, the party was at the home of one of my neighbors – Dawn. Coincidentally, Dawn always seems to see me after I injure myself. I don’t think I’m excessively klutzy, but whenever I do seem to have an accident, it never fails that I will see Dawn. Once I bent over while in the bathroom and smacked my head on a towel rack – huge bruise on my forehead. That night, I saw Dawn at a barbecue. Before my last Passion Party, I somehow smacked my cheek on the coffee table. Big bruise. I saw Dawn.

The other day, Georgia pried the phone out of my hand and subsequently smacked me in the mouth with it. Fat lip for me. I saw Dawn that day. And today, just as my mouth was healing from the phone incident, I had another issue.

We got a new vacuum yesterday (more on that later), and Eli was hiding inside the box. I bent over to look in the box right as he popped up out of it. Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, that hurt. You should see my lip. It looks like I’ve had an uneven collagen injection.

So tonight, I went over to Dawn’s with my newest fat lip. I’m telling my story of why I’m injured yet again, and at this point, it’s sounding lame, even to me. I told my husband that if the police show up at our door to arrest him, it’s not like I didn’t try to explain.