If the shoe fits . . .

T minus a week and a half and counting. At that time, everyone can breathe a sigh of relief. The bridal party because we can be done with all things wedding-related (well, until Eric’s cousin’s wedding two weeks later), and the blog readers because you can read about something other than wedding preparation shenanigans.

Last week, I told you how the tennis shoes we were planning to wear are not going to work. Once the dress was altered, you could see my feet. Unfortunately, big old white clompy tennis shoes do not look good sticking out from beneath a dark purple dress, no matter how many roses you glue to the shoes. Since then, Amy and I have been in search of the perfect silver sandals.

Now, I realize summer is drawing to a close. At least, that is what every salesperson at every shoe store tells me, and sandals are being clearanced out. That is, silver sandals are being clearanced out. Apparently the whore look is in style because you can find metallic gold sandals anywhere you look. I have looked at several Wal-Marts, Targets, department stores at the mall and a couple of DSWs. Which reminds me, why did Designer Shoe Warehouse change their name to DSW Shoe Warehouse? What do they think the SW stands for? Are they saying their name is Designer Shoe Warehouse Shoe Warehouse?

Anyway, in addition to looking for silver shoes, we also have to find shoes with a similar heel since the dress was altered for the 1 ½” heel height of the tennis shoes. That makes this a near impossibility. I spent an hour in DSW Monday night while the sales woman followed Georgia and I around pulling out several shoes with six-inch f*&# me heels, saying, “Will these work?”

Yesterday, I left the house with the kids determined not to return until I had a pair of shoes for this wedding. Georgia’s favorite pastime is not shoe shopping or being drug all over town in 104 degree heat, so I knew I was in for quite a day. Eli was content because I bought him a Coke and Skittles. Yes, I know, I’m driving him to be a diabetic or hypoglycemic, but a mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do. Sometimes, I even feed him white bread (gasp!).

First we stopped at the library to get Eli a Diego DVD, then we headed to Wal-Mart. I found a pair of sandals last week that would work, and at this point, I just wanted to go back and buy them. They were gone. Not one pair left in any size. So, we drove across town to a different Wal-Mart. Nada. But they did have the new Strawberries and Cream Diet Pepsi, so we bought that instead. Quite yummy.

Then it was off to DSW for stop number four. The first DSW I went to had a pair of shoes that would work but they were $50, and the heels were high. I really didn’t want to spend $50 on a pair of shoes I was only planning to wear once and had a strong possibility of breaking my ankle in since the last time I recall wearing heels for a long period of time was senior prom. But at this point, we needed something so we don’t walk down the aisle barefoot. I went to a different DSW because the first one didn’t have Amy’s size. Well, the second DSW didn’t have the shoes at all, so I was really screwed.

This entire time, I kept calling Amy at work who was frantically searching for shoes on the Internet, directing me to different stores. After I hit bottom at DSW, she sent me over to Famous Footwear. She found a pair of shoes online on sale that would work and called to put them on hold until I could get there. So, I drug the kids over to Famous Footwear and went inside. I slipped on the sandals and proceeded to chase my children around the store because Georgia was pulling boxes off the shelf. At least she was having a good time!

Even though the shoes killed my toes, I told the salesman I would take them – a pair for me and a pair for Amy. He said, “You can always return these if they don’t work.” I just told him, “Oh, they’ll work. I will make them work because I can’t try on one more pair of shoes. If I have to look at anymore shoes, my eyes will start bleeding.” He just stammered, “O.. Okay.” And off we went. These are the shoes. I am totally changing into Birkenstocks at the reception. On the bright side, the shoes are more comfortable than the shape wear panties I bought (aka girdle). Wait until I tell you that story!