My Fruit Roll-Ups Giveaway!!

As we speak, my children are sneaking Fruit Roll-Ups, and they’re thinking I don’t see them. Don’t they know that all moms have eyes in the back of their head? Okay, not really, but my kids certainly are not subtle with the crinkling of the wrapper!

They sure do love their Fruit Roll-Ups, so I was thrilled when I saw this. Are you ready? Personalized Fruit Roll-Ups!!! Oh yeah, baby! This might just be the coolest thing ever!

My Fruit Roll-Ups are personalized treats that are perfect for any occasion – birthdays gifts, party favors, holidays treats, and Valentine’s Day goodies!! I just placed my order for these yummies, and their Web site is awesome! You can design your own Fruit Roll-Ups with graphics and your own message! The ones I designed have pictures of cats and a message that says “We love Eli and Georgia!”

I can’t wait to see my son’s face when he opens his Valentine’s Day present and sees his name on Fruit Roll-Ups. I will have to get that on video!!

Here is the best part! I know there are some of you out there who are well-deserving of a free box of My Fruit Roll-Ups. Three of you lucky readers will receive a promotional code good for your own My Fruit Roll-Ups. All you have to do is leave a comment below with the best Valentine’s message you have ever sent or received! The three people with the best message will receive a code for their own My Fruit Roll-Ups!

Now, I am getting this post up late (Me, late? Imagine that!). So keep in mind that to get your order by Valentine’s Day, you need to place your order before February 2. (Okay, yes, I realize that means by tomorrow.) By placing your order before February 2, you should receive it by February 13.

If you don’t win my Giveaway, you can go directly to the My Fruit Roll-Ups Web site and place your order. If you order before February 2, just enter the code “BE MINE” to get $10 off your order. That’s a great deal for such a special Valentine’s Day treat!!

Don’t forget to leave your comment below with your Valentine’s message (and make sure I have your email address) by midnight tonight (CST). I will be emailing out the promotional codes to the top three winners so you can order your personalized Fruit Roll-Ups tomorrow! Good luck!!!

13 Things I Picked Up Off My Floor Today

1. Chalk – the kids got an easel for Christmas with a chalkboard on it, and there are little pieces of chalk EVERYWHERE!

2. A miniature disco ball – It’s Eli’s. Don’t ask.

3. A Sponge Bob Beanie Baby – This was today’s show-and-tell.

4. A Teletubbies DVD – I managed to find this under the dining room table.

5. Toner ink cartridge – Apparently the children got so bored they began dragging things out of the office.

6. Candy Corn – Wasn’t Halloween like three months ago?

7. A popsicle stick – I’m finding out that my kids don’t seem to know where the trash can is.

8. Dora backpack – And the second I touched it, I hear, “NOOOOO! That’s MY backpack! Don’t touch it!”

9. Dried macaroni and cheese – That was lunch.

10. A cat – I was really just trying to move him away from Georgia who was throwing plastic balls at him.

11. A wet diaper – My husband will happily change the diaper, but for some reason he can’t make it to the trash.

12. A sippy cup of orange juice (that had leaked)

13. An iTunes gift card – for some reasons my kids love anything that looks like a credit card. That’s bad, right?

Wordless Wednesday - "I Dressed Myself!"

Racing Day

The last two days have been unusually warm for January (upper 50’s). We have been enjoying the weather immensely since an “arctic front” is supposed to be moving in tomorrow. Dude! I don’t like the sound of that at all!

Eli decided yesterday that we needed to celebrate the nice weather by having a Mid-Winter Race. Since I wasn’t wearing a bra when Eli voiced this suggestion, and since I don’t run anyway, I decided to be the official photographer for the Mid-Winter Race.

It started of well. Eli was raring to go, and Georgia didn’t quite understand what the heck was going on.

Eric and Eli were neck and neck, but poor little Georgia couldn’t quite keep up.

Eli won that race, and he and daddy decided to go for the best two out of three.

At this point, Georgia gave up, but decided to take this opportunity to head directly for the street.

We quickly caught her, and she and Eli decided to have a quick run on the sidewalk.

Then Georgia came in the house, took off her shoes and threw them in the cats’ water bowl.

I didn’t get a picture of that.

Manic Monday - Wish

This week’s Manic Monday word is Wish. This made me think of so many things I would wish for if a genie just popped out of a lamp in front of me. Of course, it would be really hard to limit myself to three wishes. And according to the genie in Aladdin, you’re not allowed to wish for more wishes. Dude! Who made up that rule??

Anyway, since my mind fast forwards way past three wishes – sue me, I’m a greedy bitch – here are the top 8 things I would wish for if I had my own personal blue genie:

1. Calorie-free, fat-free chocolate! It wouldn’t hurt if it contained some fiber, either!

2. I want to win the lottey! And I’m not just talking the state lottery, I’m talking Powerball! And not when it’s just a measly $10 million. Oh no! I want to win it when it’s up to $350 million! What would I do with the money? I have no idea. But that’s not really the point now, is it?

3. I want a car that drives itself. And I am thinking waaaay beyond cruise control. I want to be able to to lie down and take a nap in the backseat while it drives me to the grocery store and parallel parks!

4. A magic weight-loss pill. I don’t mean a diet pill. I mean that I want to be able to take a pill and wake up the next morning a size 2.

5. A high metabolism. If I had #4, I wouldn’t really need this, but wouldn’t it be nice to be one of those people who has trouble keeping weight ON no matter how much they eat!

6. Super powers. I could go with invisibility, or maybe the whole flying thing would be nice. Oooo . . . . time travel!! That’s what I want!

7. For my family to be completely healthy! It would be nice to throw away some of those meds I have to take every day!

8. Oh yeah, and world peace.

The Devil Weed

To really understand this post, you must understand how much I absolutely hate the spice Rosemary. It is the nastiest weed ever, and I can’t believe that people actually put it on food. I think it tastes like mold. Seriously. And I really can’t understand why no one else sees this. My husband thinks I’m a nut because when I taste something I can tell if there is one spec of rosemary in it. Nasty-ass stuff!

That being said, we were at Whole Foods the other day, perusing frozen foods. Eli spotted these Belgian waffles he thought looked good, so we bought a box – 7-Grain Healthy Belgian Waffles.

The next morning, I fixed Eli a waffle, and I thought it looked good, so I decided to make myself one, too. However, I don’t really like the sugar-free syrup we buy for Eli (as much as he pours on, I started buying sugar free). I dug out some maple syrup we had in the back of the pantry. I drenched my pancake in maple syrup and took a big bite. And immediately spit it out. I tasted Rosemary. Blech!

I told Eric, “This waffle is disgusting.” Eric asked what was wrong with it because it looked fine to him. I said, “It just tastes nasty.”

So Eric took a big bite. And immediately spit it out. I said, “See?”

He shouted, “It’s not the waffle that’s bad. It’s the syrup! The syrup’s gone bad,” he said as he was gagging and trying not to throw up. “I can’t believe you just fed me moldy syrup!”

I said, “Syrup goes bad?” (Seriously, I didn’t know this, did you?) Eric just made a frustrated grunt since he was still spitting in the sink. I said, “Well, I didn’t feed it to you. I didn’t tell you to eat it.”

He said, “Well, why didn’t you tell me it tasted moldy?!”

I said, “Because I just thought the waffle had Rosemary in it.”

He glared at me. “You can’t tell the difference between Rosemary and MOLD?!”

“Exactly,” I said. “Now do you see why I hate Rosemary so much!”

He was not amused.

13 Things I've Said To My Kids This Week

1. It’s too cold to run around naked.

2. Who threw Cheetos in the bathtub?

3. We don’t eat chalk!

4. Stop chewing on your shirt!

5. The cats are going to throw up on you if you keep spinning them around like that.

6. Quit smacking yourself in the head.

7. No, ice cream is not a breakfast food.

8. Scary monsters do not live in the basement.

9. Stop trying to see if you’re strong enough to tip over the coffee table.

10. Just because mommy says “pissed off” doesn’t mean you should say it.

11. Oatmeal is not a finger food!

12. If you drop that cash register on your sister’s head, I will ground you forever.

13. We don't use the pots and pans as cymbals.

Wordless Wednesday - A Rough Night

Boo Boos!

I was in the store today with Georgia, and she was singing and talking, drawing the attention of other shoppers because she’s just so darn cute.

I was actually pleased that our little grocery outing was going so well. There are times when something as small as me not buying bananas will set Georgia off screaming throughout the remainder of the store. So on days when nothing seems to bug her and everything is actually going well, I thank my lucky stars.

Well, today was one of those days. Until we got to the check-out line. For some reason, Georgia is fascinated with my breasts. I’m not quite sure why, but she likes them. About a year ago, she was always yanking my shirt down, trying to see them.

She hasn’t done that in awhile, and I was finally to a point where I was thinking that maybe there were some people in the city who actually haven’t seen my boobs. So, what does my daughter do?

In the very busy line of Wal-Mart grocery store, she yanks my shirt down (it was stretchy) so you could see my bra. Then she shouted in an extremely loud sing-songy voice, “MAMA! I SEE YOUR BOO BOOS!!”

I quickly yanked my shirt up, but it wasn’t fast enough, because I still caught all the smirks and giggles from everyone else in line. My strategy was to smile and pretend nothing happened. That’s kind of hard when Georgia is sitting right in front of me going, “MAMA, IS THAT YOUR BOO BOOS?” Then yanks down her own shirt, “HERE’S MY BOO BOOS!”

*sigh* Maybe I’ll start going to a different grocery store.

Room-a-Day Giveaway!

You all know how much I love free stuff, and this is about as good as it gets! The kind folks at Mom Central have teamed up with Kimberly-Clark (think Kleenex®, Cottonelle®, Huggies®, Pull-ups®, and Kotex®) for the Kimberly-Clark "Room-a-Day Giveaway"!

Kimberly-Clark is helping moms in their quest to take time for themselves by giving them the opportunity to “relax, restore and renew” through creating a fresh, new space in their homes.

From January 28 to February 15, one person per weekday will be announced on The View and win $25,000 to renovate any room in their house. I don’t know about you, but I would love a new gourmet kitchen. Oooo! Or maybe a spa bathroom with a huge jacuzzi tub! The final contestant winner will be announced March 21st on the "Room-a-Day Giveaway" Web site.

Contestants can enter the sweepstakes daily by going to http://www.roomadaygiveaway.com/ You can enter once a day, so bookmark the site so you won’t forget. Then, remember to watch The View each day to find out if you have won.

Good luck, everybody! And if you win and renovate your family room, I’m coming over for a party!!

Manic Monday - Date

This week’s Manic Monday word is Date. Be sure to stop by It’s a Blog Eat Blog World – the Manic Monday HQ.

This got me thinking about date night with my husband. Okay, let me change that. It makes me think of a date night I wish I had with my husband. I remember (vaguely) way back when there was a time I didn’t have children. I would hear other people say something about date night with their spouse, and I didn’t quite “get it.”

Now, I get it. Since we don’t have any family that lives around us, and all of our friends are busy with their own kids, my hubby and I really don’t have anyone to watch our children. And it’s not like I’m looking to dump the kids off all the time, but let me tell you. After a long week of screaming, it would be nice to be able to go to a restaurant with my husband and have a dinner that didn’t involve taking Eli to the potty 5 times before appetizers came, or crawling under the table after a giggling 2-year-old, trying to coax her into taking a bite of grilled cheese.

I kept track of how many date nights Eric and I had in 2007. Those date nights occurred when Eric’s parents came to visit, and they watched the children while we went out. Do you know how many times that happened? Four.

Dude! I need a babysitter. I need a date more than four times a year. The problem is that I NEVER leave my children because I don’t trust anyone to watch them. I have friends who tell me the joys of their 13- and 14-year-old babysitters. The thought of a 13-year-old watching my children makes me shiver in fear.

I mean, Georgia screams for an hour when I leave her at the gym to go work out. I know this because last time I left her, she was screaming when I dropped her off and when I picked her up. When I asked the woman if she did that the entire time, the woman paused and then said, “Well . . . it’s good for her to be away from you.” Uh-huh. I can’t imagine a teenager dealing with that and not wanting to toss my daughter out a window.

So, what should I do? I wouldn’t mind sitting in a restaurant with my husband, and ordering a drink and having a nice quiet dinner conversation about something non-child-related.

I guess I can fantasize.

Conversations With A 5-Year-Old

Have you ever had moments with your children when they make you laugh, but you try really hard not to let them see you?

My son continues to amuse me daily. This morning, I was trying to catch Georgia so I could comb her hair. She was having none of this. I was chasing her around the house, and she was screaming, “NO! I don’t want comb your hair!” and running as fast as her little legs could carry her.

I was so exasperated, and I made the comment, “Georgia, why do you have to test me every morning?”

Eli piped up and said, “I don’t think she’s trying to test you, mama. I think she’s just trying to piss you off.”

Imagine me trying to calmly explain why we shouldn’t say that while inside I was going, “BWAHAHAHAHA!”

And just to outdo himself, tonight Eli and I were playing Operation. Every time the buzzer would go off, his little hand would reach down and grab his crotch. I stopped and said, “Eli, do you have to go potty?”

He just said, “No. It’s just that the buzzer makes my penis hurt.”

Blink. Blink. I didn’t quite know what to say to that one. “Okaaaay.”

We went on playing our game. Things were going fine until we got to the Charlie Horse. That is about the hardest piece to get out. Eli tried. Buzz. Buzz. Buzzzzzz. Then I tried. Buzz. Buzz. Buzzzzzzz.

By the end of the game, Eli was dancing around the room, both hands on his penis, shouting, “I don’t want to play anymore!”

Luckily, he felt immediately better as soon as we put the game away.

13 Jobs I Would Like To Have

1. Movie Critic – I’m opinionated and I like to see movies for free. I think that makes me qualified!

2. Nail Polish Namer – I have nail polish named “Espresso Yourself” and “3 Plums I Win.” Wouldn’t it be fun to come up with those names?

3. Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream Tester – I would also accept a position with Haagen Dazs.

4. Neilson Family – Do these people get paid? If so, count me in!

5. Chocolate Tester – Preferably Ghirardelli, but I’m open.

6. Hit Woman – Only if I could limit it to the bastards who cut me off in traffic.

7. Vanna White – Remember when she actually had to work by turning the letters? Apparently, that was too strenuous because now she just has to touch the letters for them to light up. Dude! I want that job!

8. American Idol Judge – Maybe I can take Paula’s place. She looks like she’s on the edge of a severe mental breakdown.

9. Entertainment Blogger – Okay, I have actually applied for these jobs. I think my problem is that I should have started doing this 6 or 7 years ago. How much money do you think Perez Hilton makes?

10. Cruise Director – The Looooove Boat! Soon you’ll be making another run. The Love Boat! Promises something for everyone . . .

11. Princess/Heiress – Better than a movie star – you’re rich and famous, and you can do absolutely nothing!

12. Greeting Card Writer – I actually applied for this job with Hallmark years ago, but I didn’t get it. I think I was a little too edgy for them.

13. Back-Up Singer - I can du-wop with the best of them! And who doesn't remember the episode of Happy Days where Joanie almost left home to join a band!

Wordless Wednesday - Mama's Girl

I'm crashing the Mo Show!

I hope you all will join Mo and I on Wednesday night on Blog Talk Radio! He is gracious enough to let me crash his show one more time! The topic is romantic comedies, and it should be a lot of fun to mock Mo's taste in movies! (I'm kidding! Kind of.) I hope you will join us for a great time!

The Potty Hat

Now that Georgia is 2 ½, I get asked the same questions everywhere I go. “How is the potty training going?”

*sigh* I am really starting to get tired of this. If you remember, we did buy Georgia the Dora potty, thinking that would make things better. Well, she definitely has other ideas.

We are working on it, but dude! Why does EVERY single person want to know the progress of my daughter’s toilet issues? Is that really their business? Here are a few of the questions/comments that irk me.

** “Have you tried (insert annoying tip here)?” Everyone has their own system and they feel the need to share it with you in a tone that says, “I did it right, and you’re obviously doing it wrong.”

** “MY child potty-trained herself, and she didn’t need diapers at 18 months old!” I usually respond by saying, “Wow, that’s great!” instead of “Could you pat yourself on the back any harder, you big fat liar!”

** “I thought girls were supposed to be easier than boys.” This is the comment I probably get the most! And I don’t know who came up with this generalization because I think potty training is f*cking hard, no matter what gender your child happens to be.

And last but not least, I often get asked, “Does Georgia use her potty?” To this, I honestly answer, “Oh yes! She uses it every day!” I just don’t happen to share that she “uses” it by putting it on her head, dancing around in circles and shouting, “I’m a cowboy! Yee-haw!”

Manic Monday Carnival

This week, Morgen is hosting a Manic Monday Blog Carnival. Be sure to visit It's A Blog Eat Blog World to check out all the great Manic Monday posts from the past year.

My favorite Manic Monday post was the week we did Graphic. You may remember this post as the one in which I posted a picture of Eli's bright turquoise poo!

If you have a strong stomach, you can click here to read my very graphic post!

Bloom Games by Cranium

Dude! I love being a mom blogger! The good people at Mom Central sent me some children’s games to review for the Cranium Blog Tour. As you all know from my Thursday post, my 5-year-old son absolutely loves games, so I was definitely up for this task!

Cranium Bloom is a new line of games developed especially for preschoolers. I love the Cranium games I have played in the past, so I was very excited to receive Let’s Go To The Zoo Seek and Find Play Puzzle and Let’s Play Count and Cook Game. These are perfect for us because as much as my son loves games, it is very important to me that they are educational.

First we tried the Seek and Find Puzzle. This was a nice big 24-piece puzzle of a zoo that my son enjoyed putting together. Then we drew cards, which directed us what to look for in the puzzle. The beginner cards say things like “find something red” or “find three tigers”. The game is designed for children age 3 and up, but even my 2-year-old daughter enjoyed this one!

The game also comes with advanced cards, which are beneficial for children learning to read. With those cards, you look for things that start with the letter “A”, “B”, “C”, etc. That is a nice feature because it ensures that we can enjoy this game for awhile.

Next up came the best game, Let’s Play Count and Cook. My son LOVES to cook. It’s something special that we like to do together, and he is getting really good at it. I was thrilled with this game. It’s a board game that comes with a “recipe” book, and you move your little chef token around the board, trying to land on the ingredient cards you need for the recipe you’re making.

The recipe book contains a couple of actual recipes (like peanut butter chocolate chip cookies – Yum-o!), as well as kitchen safety tips, and fun facts like how to tell how old an egg is. This game is super fun, educational, and the little chef tokens are just super cool!

If you are looking for some great educational games for your preschooler, check out these and other games from Cranium Bloom! These games are now available at Target, and you can find them on Amazon. Visit the Cranium Web site to learn more about these and other Cranium games. There is nothing more fun than educating your children through play!

Conversations With A 2-Year-Old

Today, as I was putting Georgia down for her nap, I picked up her Belle doll (from Beauty and the Beast) and put it on the bed with the rest of her stuffed animals. Georgia immediately picked it up and chucked it across the room.

Hmmm . . . I thought, “Okay, that’s interesting.” I went ahead and read her stories, brought her a sippy cup of milk and turned on her Enya CD. Then I picked up the Belle doll and put it back on her bed.

She immediately sat upright, picked up Belle and once again threw her across the room.

I picked up Belle and asked, “Georgia, why don’t you like Belle?”

Georgia grabbed the doll, turned her upside down and lifted her skirt up. “NO PANTS, Mama!” she said, pointing to the doll’s crotch. “She need pants, Mama! I want her GO AWAY!” And Georgia threw her once more.

Alrighty. I never knew that Georgia would have such a strong reaction to her dolls going commando. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.

When I brought the doll out of Georgia’s room, Eli immediately picked it up. He was more than happy to play with the pantless Belle doll. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad either.

13 Board Games My Family Loves

Eli is quickly developing my love of board games. Yippee!! I am so happy after all these years that I finally have someone to play with me. Here are 13 games that we love, mostly board games, but I’ve included some others (like Connect Four) also!

1. Bonkers – This was my favorite board game as a kid. They no longer make it, but I found it on ebay and ordered it so I could play it with Eli. He loves it, too. My husband? Not so much. He thinks it takes too long to play.

2. Candyland – This is a classic, but I think my kids love it because we have the Dora version. Eli loves this game, but I have to watch him to make sure he doesn’t cheat. (He stacks the cards!)

3. Chutes and Ladders – I like this game, but I NEVER win. I get beaten every time by a 5-year-old! What is up with that? I swear I land on every freaking shoot.

4. Connect Four – Eli just got this game for Christmas, and he’s still getting into it. He doesn’t understand strategy quite yet so he gets very pissed when I block him. He’s decided that the best way to play the game is to see how fast you can fill the grid up with checkers.

5. Operation – Another new one for Eli. I thought it would be a great game for him to work on his fine motor skills. He likes it for a couple of minutes and then he gets extremely irritated by the buzzer.

6. Sorry – This is Eli’s favorite board game. We play this one over and over and over. And most of the time he wins. His favorite party of the game is when he gets to bump me back to start and say “Sorry!” in a sing song voice. Grrrr.

7. Trouble – Very similar to sorry, except this game has a popper with a die in it instead of drawing cards. I never realized when I was younger how similar the games Trouble, Sorry and Aggravation actually are.

8. Lucky Ducks – This is a cute game that even Georgia likes to play. It’s a fun memory game in which all the ducks have shapes on the bottom, and they go around in a circle. You try to pick matching shapes. The kids really enjoy it, but I could do without the quacking.

9. Clue – I am a big fan of Clue, and I’ve loved it all my life. They now have Clue Jr. where instead of a murder, the players are trying to solve the case of the missing cake. Miss Scarlet ate the cake in the Lounge at 8:00 with a glass of milk!! Okay, it doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, but it’s still fun.

10. Backyardigans – Yes, the Backyardigans have their own board game. On one side of the board you can search for pirate treasure and on the other side of the board, it’s the Mission to Mars game. Okay, it’s really the same game with different pictures, but it’s still fun, especially if your kids love the Backyardigans.

11. Jenga – Not a board game, but I’m quite impressed at how skilled my son is at this one. In fact, I’m the one that usually knocks the blocks over.

12. Candyland Castle – The kids got this one for Christmas. It’s another fun one that Georgia can play. It has a castle that shoots out shapes, and you match the shapes to shapes on your Gingerbread man. The only drawback to this is that the kids fight over who gets to pull the lever on the castle.

13. Let’s Play Count and Cook – This is a Cranium game that Mom Central sent me. I’m actually going to be reviewing it on Saturday, so come back to read more about it. But if your kids are interested in cooking, they will LOVE this game. It’s quickly becoming one of Eli’s favorites.

Wordless Wednesday - Resemblance

Ch . . Ch . . Changes

2008 has started off with one of my children more resistant to change than ever (Eli) and one child who is either incredibly accident prone or on a suicide mission (Georgia). This keeps my life interesting.

When Eli was 2 1/2, we moved him from his crib to a twin bed. We didn’t want it up very high, so we didn’t put it on a frame. We just put the box springs and mattress on the floor. It has been like that for three years. Every time I had mentioned putting his bed on a frame so it was up a little higher, Eli flipped the f*ck out! Until this weekend.

On Saturday, Eli said he was wondering what it would be like to have his bed up high like Jonathan’s (a friend of his). Woo hoo! I thought I would take this opportunity and run with it. I know Eli does not deal with change well. I moved his bedroom furniture around once. Once. I learned never to do that again because he cried like I had just killed his best friend. He doesn’t like change.

This time, I thought we could put the frame together on Sunday when he was occupied. That is what Eric did. Unfortunately, he wasn’t exactly quiet about it, and Eli heard a commotion in his room. When he walked in and saw what was happening, he screamed, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!” Oh crap.

I told him that I thought he wanted his bed up higher like Jonathan’s. He said, “WELL I DON’T! I CHANGED MY MIND!!”

I then noticed that Eric and I have different ways of dealing with this. Eric tries to explain calmly what we’re doing. This never works. Eli just screams “NO!” louder while sitting down in the middle of the floor and crying.

I started talking about how great the furniture in his bedroom would look if we moved it around. I thought if I could get him involved in a “discussion” about that, he would forget about the bed. Eric thinks I’m just torturing him. I think it works.

It’s kind of like when you got an F in 10th grade math. You tell your parents that you’re pregnant. After they get shocked and upset, you honestly tell them that you’re not. But then the F in math doesn’t seem that bad.

Or maybe I’m just twisted.

Either way, we got Eli’s “big boy” bed put together and he finally agreed to try it out for a few days. If he still doesn’t like it after that, we promised to take it down. As of day #2, he still doesn’t like it. But I’m holding out hope.

Besides, I bought him a new comforter today at Target. After he’s done hyperventilating from that change, maybe he’ll forget about the bed.

Manic Monday - One

This week's Manic Monday word is One. Be sure to visit the Manic Monday HQ this week for more information on how to participate!

I am often reminded of how quickly my children are growing up, but never quite so much as when I start looking at some old pictures. Where does the time go??

Here is a picture of Eli on his first birthday, July 8, 2003.

And here is Eli today at age five.

Here is my baby girl, Georgia, on her first birthday, June 24, 2006.

And here she is today. As you can see, the kids were celebrating KU's recent Orange Bowl win!

The Georgia Show

My daughter is turning into quite the late night comic. For some reason, she has started off the New Year by waking up between 11 pm and midnight. She screams and hollers until I go get her. I always have the intention of bringing her to bed with us, getting her to sleep, and putting her back in her own bed.

Yeah, she doesn’t have that same intention. I gave you a preview of one of these evenings in my Manic Monday post. Georgia's performance has intensified night after night. She continues to recite her favorite Dora episodes in amazing clarity for a 2-year-old. Then she begins discussing the picture of the "castle" (lighthouse) hanging above our bed. After that, she pokes me in the nose for a little while, plays with my fingers, twirls my wedding ring around a few times, then tries to escape.

We have come to call this nightly ritual “The Georgia Show” or “Late Night With Georgia.” Last night, we had the TV on Conan in the bedroom when Georgia made her appearance. She wanted to know the name of every single person on the TV. Then it occurred to me that when I am discussing Conan O’Brien at midnight with my 2-year-old, something is wrong.

I put her back to bed, and then could NOT get back to sleep. This morning, I was so exhausted when I got up that I immediately decided to make myself a double espresso. I thought I could get in a nice relaxing coffee before the kids woke up.

Unfortunately when I steam milk, my espresso machine sounds like Donald Sutherland at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers:

EXACTLY like that!

And it woke both the kids up. Crap.

Friday Funny

Dude! If you're not reading the F Minus comic, you should be!

13 Resolutions I Probably Won't Keep

1. Stop cussing – Okay, I’m getting better, but this one really is going to be a bitch to keep.

2. Cut down on coffee – Well, considering that I got that espresso machine for Christmas, I’m pretty much screwed on this one.

3. Lose weight – See #2. Those damn lattes are killing me. Georgia and I go through a gallon of milk every two days.

4. Stop flipping people off in traffic – Yeah, right.

5. Watch less TV – The writer’s strike is helping with this one right now. Unfortunately Lost starts up again soon, and I may have to lock the kids in the closet so I can hear it.

6. Potty train my daughter – Right now when I suggest that Georgia use her potty, she runs from me screaming. I hope it gets better.

7. Improve the filter from my brain to my mouth – I came up with this one today after calling my (very young looking) doctor “Doogie.”

8. Exercise – Apparently running around the house trying to catch Georgia so I can change her diaper doesn’t count.

9. Start eating breakfast – Right now my refrigerator is where yogurt goes to die, so that plan is not working. Hmmm . . . does Cookie Crisp count as a healthy breakfast?

10. Visit someplace I have never been – I mean besides the gym.

11. Keep the house uncluttered – This is about as probable as #2, but I’m trying.

12. Deal with Georgia’s temper tantrums in a productive way – i.e. by not pulling my hair out.

13. Have more date nights with my husband – This requires finding a babysitter . . . anyone available?

Wordless Wednesday - A Late Night Reading

Happy New Year!

I tell you, when you have kids, the best laid plans always go straight to hell in a hand basket. Last night, we were planning to actually go to a New Year’s Eve party. Woo hoo, right?

Well, I got the kids and myself ready, we ate a quick dinner, and then . . .

Georgia turned around and threw up all over me. What did I do? Instinctively, I handed her off to Eric. And then Georgia threw up all over him, too. But she didn’t want daddy. She wanted mama! So she got away from Eric, came back over to me, and heaved once more. Because the first time, she just got my shirt. She had to give it a second go, so she could be sure and get my pants, too.

Needless to say, we didn’t make the party. Eli was quite upset. I think in his mind, he was thinking it would be like a birthday party. He just kept saying, “But I wanted to go to the party so I could have cake!”

We tried to make the best of our evening. Eric brought pillows and big, soft blankets in the family room, and he and Eli sacked out, while I rocked Georgia to sleep (at 7:30 p.m.), and we all watched Shrek 2.

Eli was going to try to stay awake until midnight so we could go outside and bang pots and pans together and scream Happy New Year. He lasted until about 9:00 p.m. before he fell asleep.

And Eric? Well, just when I thought we could ring in the year adult style, at 11:55 p.m., I walked into the bedroom to find him snoring. I rang in the New Year with Ryan Seacrest. Definitely not my first choice!