Friday, June 29, 2007

My husband - the unlikely terrorist

Okay, I’m probably going to be on some CIA list now for remotely comparing my husband to a terrorist, but hey that’s one more blog reader, right? What the hell am I talking about, you may ask.

The other day, we were in Wal-mart picking up a few groceries. Eric went to go get a carton of eggs. He came back a couple of minutes later and sighed loudly when putting them in the cart. I asked what was wrong because he looked extremely peeved.

He asked, “Do I LOOK like I work here?”

I asked what in God’s name he was talking about. Apparently when he went to get the eggs, a woman came up to him and asked where the pie crusts were. I found this amusing. Eric was still in his clothes from work – khakis and a polo-type shirt. That got me thinking that apparently corporate “business casual” is the same uniform employees wear for most retail stores.

I still thought it was funny because Wal-mart employees wear green shirts. Eric’s shirt was muted orange. Plus, he was standing there with a grocery list in hand choosing eggs. But he still looked like he worked there. Tee hee.

He then confessed that the reason he was so perturbed was because this happens to him ALL THE TIME! Really? I had no idea! These are the little gems I wish he would share with me. Apparently, he has been stopped at Macy’s, Kohl’s and Border’s by people who thought he was an employee. I think a couple of times he even had the kids with him. Dude! That is funny!

But my favorite story he related to me was when he went to Office Depot to buy ink for the printer. Again, he went after work, and that day he was wearing khakis and a blue polo shirt. Apparently, the uniform at Office Depot is khakis and a blue polo shirt. Ha! He was stopped three times by customers asking him questions, once while he was waiting in line with his purchases.

Okay, that time it was really his fault. But I told him he should just start making sh*t up to tell people who ask him questions. It would be much more fun then him seething, “I don’t work here!” through clenched teeth.

I was trying to decide if it was a good thing that he looks like he fits in everywhere he goes. Then I said, “You’d make a great terrorist!” He just glared at me. I said, “On second thought, the terrorists probably don’t look nearly as annoyed as you do.”


Michael - Lover of Amy said...

I feel for your hubby because I have lived the same thing. In some cases you are safe, like don't ever walk into a Target wearing khakis and a red shirt. I don't know there is a uniform at Walmart other than jeans, whatever t-shirt was closest on the floor when you woke up, and the navy vest they wear.

I used to work for Blockbuster Video and would get harassed at Eckerd Drugs because I wore khakis and a navy polo.

On a related note - regarding being asked for directions - in orlando the high school kids find great pleasure in intentionally giving tourists incorrect directions, usually trying to send them towards Daytona instead of Disney!

Desert Songbird said...

I would probably answer them in another language. I've been known to do that whenever I get tired of getting the same sales call over and over again.

ian said...

See, if he was really brave, he could really mess with people. "Yes, it's in Aisle 17 right next to the anal lube underneath the inflatable sheep." (said with a straight face)

And then when a huffy customer comes back with management to complain about him, great wackiness will ensue.


Kara said...

He should totally give them fake help lol :D That is funny.

Crazy Working Mom said...

Funny post...funny that you mentioned that b/c I was in Sally's beauty supply looking for a new blowdryer yesterday and some kid asked me if that was the only color blue (hair dye) that we had. *LOL*

I need to post that. I had forgotten about it. (Thanks for the idea)!

Morgen said...

When I was clean-cut and worked for Target, I'd get the same thing.
This just reinforces my belief that the general public sees a "type" instead of a person in these big box stores. There's such a lack of customer service that when a person needs help, they seek out the "type" of person who they think can help them. So much for corporate dress codes, they just need to clone Eric.

Not So Anonymous Michelle said...

Hilarious post and I could totally relate...not because I wear khaki's a polos to a store and people think I work there, but because evidently I must have a friendly/helpful look to me that I get asked where stuff is, and sometimes I think it's not even that people think I work there...Walmart is a place it's happened more times than I can count...funnily enough, I did work there years ago! I love your blog and sent some link love to ya on mine today! You rock!

tegdirb92 said...

ha--that is funny. I ask arbitrary people all the time if they work there. It's partly out of my frustration for not being able to find something. Have a great weekend.

Sanni said...

*LOL* Although I can feel Eric´s pain ;)

While working as a trade hostess i had to wear these typical fancy dresses. It happened several times while I was in a bank (to get some money for myself) elderly people came asking for help to get some cash at the bancomat.

I love Ian´s idea!

Comedy + said...

I'm with Mo. Mostly there isn't any customer service in the big stores. You are lucky if you can get someones attention. Well, your husband should use his sense of humor and send them off in another direction of where they want to go. Okay, maybe that's not a good idea, but that's probably what I'd do.

Donna said...

I've awarded you in a meme over at my AOL journal: