13 Kathy Griffin Quotes

Something you may not know about me is that I am a HUGE Kathy Griffin fan. I think she is freaking hysterical, and she makes me laugh so hard that I am in tears. She has a reality show on Bravo called My Life on the D-List, and if you are not watching it, you should be!

I just found out today that Kathy is coming to my area in October, and I am so excited that I could pee my pants. I love her!! So, please enjoy 13 random quotes by the hilariously funny Kathy Griffin.

1. (About the Oprah Winfrey Show) “I love the show and I watch it every day, but I can’t help but make fun of her because . . . she thinks she’s Jesus.”

2. (About Clay Aiken) “Even the guys on Queer Eye are like, “that fag?”

3. “I saw Tommy Lee at an awards show, and I got crabs just from looking at him!”

4. “Here’s the deal – my boobs are real, and sometimes they bounce off my knees, and sometimes we play hacky-sack.”

5. “There’s one thing that’s really great about waking up early, and it’s not jogging or greeting the day – it’s just that that’s when they make doughnuts.”

6. “I want my own billboard. I think it should be a very beautiful, extremely airbrushed photo of me, and the quote should be “Suck It!” because that’s my inner thought bubble.”

7. “Donna Summer told me the Lord should wash my mouth out with soap.” (pause) “Donna Summer – who sang ‘Bad Girls’.”

8. (About Renne Zellweger) “I may have said in an interview in People magazine that I thought Renee Zellweger was so thin that she looked like the lost Olsen triplet. And I may have said that she hasn’t eaten since Chicago. . . . You know what I said in my DVD? I said she looked like a sweaty puffy coke whore.”

9. “Children are like aliens – they might as well have antennas.”

10. (About her DVD Allegedly) “I called it that because I love the name. And because I had to. For legal reasons.”

11. “If I didn’t have Cynthia to do my make-up, I would look like one of the Children of the Corn.”

12. “The day that Oprah opens a tabloid and she’s not in it is the day that everyone around her gets fired.”

13. (after seeing her dogs fight) “That is not unlike the struggle within me between good and evil that goes on all day.”

Since my TT can’t deliver Kathy’s comic timing, I found a great 2-minute YouTube clip for you to enjoy from Kathy’s most recent special, “Everybody Can Suck It.”