Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Who is that scary-ass man?

It’s that time once again – time for the kids to visit Santa for the annual holiday picture. I was so tired of past years when we have had to wait in line forever and listen to bitchy elves barking orders at us only to have Georgia scream her head off when she sees Santa.

This year, I decided to go early. I figured if nothing else, if we went before Thanksgiving, Santa wouldn’t be busy yet, and maybe we wouldn’t have to stand in line. That would alleviate at least be one part of the hassle.

On Sunday, we took the kids when the mall opened at 11 a.m. to see Santa and snap the annual photo. I was thrilled when I saw there actually wasn’t a line.

We twisted around the maze to get to Santa, and Eli – who had been chattering away in the car about the millions of items he wanted for Christmas – clammed up. Georgia took one look at Santa and wrapped her arms in a death grip around my neck, screaming, “NOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOO! I DON’T LIKE IT! NOOOOO!” Well, crap.

Eric and the elves who take the photo were looking at me like, “It doesn’t look like she’s going to sit on Santa’s lap.” Oh, you wanna freakin bet? I came here to get a picture of the kids with Santa and that’s what I’m going to do. I pried her little arms off of my neck and sat her on Santa’s lap. By the scream she gave, you would have thought I was selling her into slave labor. (Yes, I’m horrible, but dammit, I wanted my Santa picture.)

I looked at the photo elf and said, “Take the picture. Now. I don’t care if she’s screaming.” That in itself was hard enough because Georgia was covering her sobbing face trying not to look at Santa. But we did finally get a picture. (I know you desperately want to see it, but that is this week’s Wordless Wednesday, so you’ll have to come back tomorrow.)

The elves were getting annoyed with me because I wanted them to snap more shots. In every photo where you could see Georgia’s face, Eli was making a weird face. Dude! This was not going well.

Finally, I took my screaming daughter from Santa and then just tried to get Eli to talk. I said, “Eli, did you ask Santa what kind of cookies we should make him for Christmas Eve?” Eli said nothing, and at that point, there was a line forming behind us. People were looking annoyed.

Oh fine. I took the kids and got my picture. As I was waiting on the picture, I looked at the three kids who were up next. They sat right down on Santa’s lap and put on big smiles for the camera. The little bastards.


Anonymous said...

Something about a big loud guy in a red suit...

Like my Godchild at Chuck E Cheese, running away from the costumed character...kids!

Desert Songbird said...

My daughter once asked me why there is only one photo of her with Santa and none of her brother with Santa. I told her the truth - I wouldn't deal with their temper tantrums.

Mo said...

Eric and The Elves
Great name for a new kids show
or an Emo band
same thing, eh?

we had many years worth of my sister Erin sitting on Santa's lap screaming & crying. ah, traditions!

Thea said...

I can not WAIT to see this picture!!!

Not Your Regular Mini Van Mom said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOL Oh thank the lord my kids aren't the only crazy ones who are afraid of Santa. I will put my favourite pic of the boys with Santa my my site tonight. It is hysterical.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Oh my god! This post is hilarious!! I totally hear you on this one. And what is worse is when the kids are scared, but they get on his lap quietly. At first. And then the photographer is screwing around with the camera. You know the kids are about to blow and you are thinking "Just snap the bloody picture!!!" LOL