Wednesday, October 31, 2007

13 Things About Our Halloween Experience

1. Why is it that children desperately want to be a certain character and then shed their costume after five minutes, only for mom and dad to carry it? By Halloween night, Eli’s fake hair, earring and eye patch were long gone.

2. Glancing outside Halloween night, I spotted a grown man wearing a pirate’s hat and a grown woman carrying a death sickle. Only at Halloween.

3. What the hell is a Lemonhead, and why do people think I need so many of these in my . . . er . . . I mean in my kids’ trick-or-treat bags.

4. Since Georgia wouldn’t wear the Dora wig (when I tried it on her, she screamed like I had put a dead skunk on her head), and wouldn’t wear her backpack half the time, her costume was basically a girl in a sweatsuit. I kept telling people, “She’s Blonde Dora. Just go with it.”

5. Why is it, I can turn on the TV on Halloween night and find Halloween 6 (which sucks by the way), but not the original Halloween? I have it on DVD, but that’s not really the point, now, is it?

6. I am learning that children who normally love stickers, absolutely hate them when they get them trick-or-treating. Dude! It’s Halloween! Give them candy! For that matter, anyone who hands out raisins or toothbrushes deserves to get their house egged.

7. There really should be an age limit for trick-or-treating. If you are 17 and show up at my house with no costume, holding out a pillowcase, I am NOT giving you candy.

8. Eli’s preschool director continues to dress inappropriately at Halloween. This year, it was slutty ballerina. I wish I could get a picture of this for you guys! I didn’t know you could get a tutu that short.

9. I have seen Hannah Montana on TV, and she is NOT slutty. Why is it that every girl I saw dressed as Hannah Montana had to skank up their costumes. My gawd! Do some parents look at their children before they leave the house?

10. If you want a child to have one piece of candy, give them one piece of candy. Don’t put your huge bowl in front of their face and say, “Now only take ONE piece.” You think a kid has that much self-control? Because I certainly don’t.

11. The candy bowls with the hands in them that grab you may be funny to you, but they scare the hell out of a 2-year-old. Not cool, people. Not cool.

12. Yes, Blonde Dora! She is too dressed up! Don’t make me bitch slap you on Halloween. What is with these people?

13. My children are brutally honest. My neighbor jokingly told Eli to eat all his candy before bedtime. Eli said, “My mommy said I can’t or all my teeth will fall out!”


Head Gaggler said...

Those are soo true! All my daughter talked about was being a princess and then all she wanted to do was take off her costume. Too itchy!

KC said...

My kids each must have got 20 fake tatoos in there buckets.. the kids were like what is this where's the candy LOL.
Then some guy thought it would be cute to lay in his dark bushes and as the kids walked up to get there candy he would reach out and grab there ankels.. WHAT THE HECK.. my 2 year old wasn't phased by it, but my 5 year old cried her eyes out because it was her ankel he grabbed.. THINK PEOPLE THINK...
Happy T13

Joyismygoal said...

I do hate to see little ones dressed like adults i dont want to see dressed like tramps

kellyo75 said...

This is an awesome list. I didn't get any lemonheads, though! I love lemonheads!!

Crazy Working Mom said...

Or how 'bout people that dress elaborately scary?! My niece was freaked out several time, as was my son. Shelby didn't care, as long as they were giving her candy she didn't care if they could be potential ax murderers! *LOL*

Totally cracking up at your list. :)

Happy TT. Hope you...err...ummm I mean they got some good chocolate somewhere along the way.

Deb - Mom of 3 Girls said...

Oh yes, I agree with you on those! It seemed like the whole last hour, all we got for trick-or-treaters were teenagers... And spooky stuff is way too scary for little kids! Great list! :)

Thea @ It's Me Vs. Me said...

Yeah, we have a few "public school kids" in our neighborhood, too.

my son was a ghost and a couple of people asked why he didn't have face paint on, because that would have made him look "more like a ghost"...because the big white sheet with the head cut out wasn't a big enough clue...

Brandi said...

Very funny list! I too was annoyed that I had to beg my child to stay in costume! Captain Hook was "boy in black pants and t-shirt" most of the night! I kept having to redress him for pictures.


kristi said...

Ummm...yeah. First TC wanted to wear his Spiderman 3 costume, then he wanted his Power Ranger one (I bought it big last year) and finally he didn't want to wear one at all! So he went in his shorts, t-shirt, and hat turned backwards and my daughter told everybody her brother was a "skater." CRAZY!