Bad Vibes

I really wish they gave out prizes for putting your foot in your mouth because I would be the f*cking champion!! Okay, I try not to post too much about my Passion Party customers just in case they find my blog, but this time I couldn’t resist.

I got an email from a gal last week who said the vibe she bought from me didn’t work. She had tried the batteries “every which way” and it didn’t work. Well, we have a 90-day guarantee, so I told her to bring it back to me, and I would return it to the company and get her a new one.

Now, I have had some ditzy customers before who have told me their vibes didn’t work. One in particular, I asked if she was sure she was using triple A batteries and not double A, to which she responded, “Oops.” When she put in the correct size batteries, it worked just fine.

The only issue I had with the current gal is that she bought the Perfect Jewel, which is a great quality vibe. I’ve never had anyone who has had a problem with this one. But, the gal is a teacher, so I assumed she was smart enough to put batteries in a vibrator.

She showed up at my house yesterday to return her vibe, but before she left, I made her come in so I could quickly test it and make sure that it did not work. This is when I should learn to keep my flippant comments to myself. I started telling her about my previous customer who used the wrong size batteries and I said, “But I’m sure you’re smarter than that.”

I was just chatting away as I put batteries in her vibrator. Then she said, “Uh oh. I see the problem. It takes three batteries?” I said, “Yes.”

She responded, “Oh, I was only putting in two.”

Yeah, when you put in the correct number of batteries, the vibe works just fine. *sigh* Now, I don’t mean to be bitchy, but what is so difficult about READING THE INSTRUCTIONS?!! It says on the insert that it requires THREE batteries, not two! Pay attention, people!

Anyway, she was very embarrassed, and it probably didn’t help that I had already indirectly called her an idiot, so she took her vibe and left.

Next time, I’ll know to ask on the phone if they are putting in the correct size and the correct number of batteries before they return their vibe. I don’t want to insult anyone’s intelligence, but Dude! I’m beginning to think that won’t be a problem!