Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Beware of the Corn Nuts!

Most days, I am quite amused by the things my children say, and today was no different. I have Georgia, whose latest thing is to scream “HELP!” no matter what situation she is in. Of course, she makes it a two-syllable word “Hay-elp!” She stands in the living room and screams this, in the grocery store, or in the middle of Gymboree. She never needs any help, but she learned early on that when she screams “help” mommy comes running.

It is better than some of the things she screams, which no doubt, are my fault. I know 2-year-olds repeat everything you say. I just wish I could freaking remember that before I open my mouth. Today, I was reading my blog comments out loud to Eric. Georgia was particularly interested in Morgen’s comment, and went around shouting “Crack is Whack” the rest of the evening. Okay, that is funny. But those are the times my mother-in-law calls, and the kids begin repeating everything I say.

Eli is on a roll with the hilarious things that come out of his mouth. Today, he was listing off all of the bugs/animals he could think of that sting. He looked at me and said, “Bees, beetles, jelly fish, and corn nuts.”

“Corn nuts?” I asked. I told him that corn nuts are something you eat. They’re not a bug. He gave me his loud (just-like-his-father) sigh, and said, “Mama! Corn nuts! You know! We saw a big corn nut the other day at Jonathan’s house, and he almost stung me!”

I thought for a second and then laughed. I asked, “Do you mean hornets?” Eli gave me another sigh and said, “That’s what I said!”

I was not so happy to realize that he does still repeat what I say, too. We went to Gymboree last week, and my least favorite teacher, Mary, was there. She is very uptight, and quite abrasive with the children. I later told Eric, “Someone needs to take the stick out of that woman’s ass!” Eli asked what that meant. Why did she have a stick up her ass. Oh, double crap. I tried to explain that was just an expression that meant she needed to calm down.

He seemed to forget the incident until Saturday when we walked into Gymboree and saw Mary. He proudly exclaimed, “Mama, look! It’s the woman with the stick up her ass!”

Oh, sweet lord in heaven. Luckily, the snickers from the other moms told me that most of them felt the same way I do.


Travis said...


I shouldn't be laughing.



Donna said...


Mags said...

Ha haaa haaaa...my niece who is 5 is starting to do the help thing too...only she does it in the pool when we reall freak out if she says it.

Your kids are a hoot...

Anonymous said...

out of the mouths of innocents... Bwahahahhaha. Don't you hate it when that happens?

Comedy + said...

Well, did Mary hear that? I hope so and then perhaps she will take the stick out of her ass. I like you...I really do. Bwahahahah. :)

Crazy Working Mom said...

Now, that is classic! Too funny, Neila.