This week’s Manic Monday word is Carol. Am I twisted that the first thing I thought of was Carol Brady. I mean come on, for us children of the 70’s, she has to be the most famous Carol, right?
Being in a festive spirit, this immediately got me thinking about A Very Brady Christmas. Oh yeah, kids! I’m sure you all lovingly remember this 1988 TV movie that reunited all of the original cast except for Susan Olsen (Cindy Brady). Supposedly, she was on her honeymoon in Jamaica during the filming of the movie, but I have heard many other rumors.
In the movie, Mike and Carol Brady (who look like they’ve been to one to many Passion Parties the way they’re playing grab-ass through the whole movie) try to reunite the entire family for Christmas. Since it wouldn’t be The Brady Bunch without everyone having a zillion personal problems of their own, it’s easy to imagine that chaos ensues. Here is a rundown:
Marcia: Marcia's husband just lost his job, and doesn't want to go to her family's on Christmas out of sheer embarrassment. They have two kids. They finally agree to come, but under the rule that nobody mentions hubby’s career troubles.
Greg: Greg’s now a doctor and married to the nurse who works under him (wink). She doesn’t want to attend the Brady’s Christmas Love Fest because she wants to go to her family’s instead. So, Greg comes home by himself, bringing one of his two children.
Jan: In the middle of a nasty split with her husband, Jan is so fearful of spoiling her family's happy holiday that she actually asks her estranged husband to pretend everything's fine and join them for Christmas. He agrees, because who wouldn't want to spend the biggest day of the year with their ex-wife's gigantic nosy family in another state.
Peter: Peter doesn't want his girlfriend to join him at Christmas because his family will find out that she's his boss. Peter takes great shame in making less money than his woman (the male chauvinist pig). He agrees to take her along, but makes her promise to keep their positions a secret.
Bobby: He's a bit apprehensive about coming home, since he's been keeping a dark secret from the family: he dropped out of business school to pursue a career as a race-car driver. Bobby agrees to come, but isn't planning on spreading the truth about his current career path.
Cindy (played by Jennifer Runyon): Cindy doesn't want to come because she doesn't want her family to find out that she's not really Cindy, and rather an obsessive stalker who killed the real Cindy and took her place. Okay, I’m kidding. Actually, she doesn't want to come because she already planned a ski trip with her graduating college class, and she is pissed feeling that she was 'told' to go, not 'asked.'
Alice: We can't forget Alice! She pays a surprise visit to Carol and Mike after Sam the Butcher leaves her a Dear John note, detailing his affair with a younger woman! (the two-timing bastard.)
In addition to all of this, Mike spoils everyone’s plans by getting trapped in one of his buildings on Christmas Eve. Luckily, it’s The Brady Bunch, so he gets out because Carol and the rest of the family band together and . . . wait for it . . . sing 'O Come All Ye Faithful'. Yes, seriously.
If you haven’t had the pleasure of enjoying A Very Brady Christmas, I highly recommend it. If you’re a Brady fan, it’s a must-see. If you’re not, well, there are so many people making out in the movie, it’s almost like watching Skinemax at 2 a.m.
Now for reasons not related to the rest of my post at all, please enjoy this brief Christmas Carol, as sung by Tarzan, Tonto and Frankenstein: