Boom!

Just when I was flying high with my Christmas spirit, the humbug had to creep back in. Yesterday, after I took Eli to preschool, Georgia and I went to Gymboree so she could burn off some energy. I should have known things weren’t going to go well, when Georgia tried to climb on the roof of a bridge at Gymboree. When I got her down and tried to explain you’re not supposed to climb up there, I got screaming, complete with, “NO, I DON’T LIKE IT! NO! GO AWAY!” I should have picked up my lovely screaming child and left right then. But no.

I stayed there and chased my daughter around as usual. Unfortunately at Gymboree, you often have to step over and around the large apparatuses to get to your child. As I was stepping over this big cushiony block-like thing to get to Georgia, I stepped wrong on my ankle. I heard a very loud unnatural “POP!” and I went down. Thank God the place is covered in foam mats. Still, it hurt like a mo fo!

As I was trying hard not to cry (yes, I’m a girl), I was also trying to hide my embarrassment. I mean come on, no matter how serious the fall, the first thing you do is look around to see how many people saw you. Three other parents were running toward me, “OH MY GOD, ARE YOU OKAY?”

So, I immediately popped up on my good leg and said, “I’m FIIIINE! Happens all the time. Ha ha ha ha ha!” Bullshit. I could already feel it swelling up. But not only did I pretend to be fine, I finished the class, complete with doing the Gymbo dance with my daughter. Yeah, I must have been on crack. I think that only made it worse.

Before I went home, I hobbled into Target to get an ace bandage, and to ask the pharmacist if I should do ice or heat. (She said ice for 24 hours, then heat.) Now, while we were in Target, I put Georgia in the cart. Unfortunately, she refuses to sit in the front part of the cart, and likes to hang out in the back section – the “body” of the cart.

When I went to check out with my ace bandage, the cashier had the nerve to say, “We here at Target get very concerned when we see children riding in the body of the cart.” I glared at her and said, “Lady, are you f*cking kidding me? I have had a really bad morning. Are you calling me a bad mother?” I think she was a bit taken aback by my strong reaction, but dude! I was so not in the mood for that!

I then went home, iced my ankle, popped some Lortab and listened to The Mo Show. Needless to say, I am done with my Christmas shopping.