13 Hilarious Quotes from The Ref

As I’ve mentioned previously, The Ref is one of my favorite holiday movies! If you like a good, dark-humored, snarky movie, you will love this one! It is hilarious! Here’s a brief synopsis:

Denis Leary plays Gus, a cat burglar, who takes an irritating Connecticut couple, Lloyd and Caroline (Kevin Spacey, Judy Davis), hostage. He soon finds that he took more than he bargained for when the couple's family steps into the picture. Before long they're driving him nuts with their petty bickering and family problems.

Here are 13 great quotes!

1. Caroline: How can we both be in the marriage and I'm miserable and you're content?

Lloyd: Luck?

2. Lloyd: You think my life turned out the way I wanted because I live in this house? You think every morning I wake up, look in the mirror and say "Gee I'm glad I'm me and not some 19-year-old billionaire rockstar with the body of an athelete and a 24-hour erection!" No I don't! So just excuse the shit out of me!

3. Gus: Do you know what this family needs? A mute!

4. Lloyd: You know what I'm going to get you next Christmas, Mom? A big wooden cross, so that every time you feel unappreciated for your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it.

5. Gus: What is the matter with you? I thought Mothers were sweet and nice a-a-and Patient. I know loan sharks who are more forgiving than you. Your husband ain't dead, lady. He's hiding.

6. Gus: Connecticut is the fifth ring of hell.

7. Lloyd: Caroline, the day you see anything through to the end, I'll stick my own dick in my ear.

8. Lloyd: I suppose you'll use this drama as a reason to have another affair. I feel sorry for the next delivery man that comes to this house!

9. Lloyd: What's your name? Gus: Fuck you, that's my name.

10. Lloyd: [to the therapist referring to their son] In the ninth grade we said he could get a part time job. Are you ready for what he did? He started an escort service for the football team, and he gave out my mother's phone number!

Caroline: And I still say getting laid by an 18-year-old linebacker is just what she needs!

11. George: Yeah? Well, maybe Santa won't come back next year. Maybe he and the Easter Bunny will take a fuckin' cruise to Jamaica and you can eat your own lousy cookies!

12. Boy: Santa doesn't drink champagne. Santa only drinks milk.

George: [quietly] Listen. Santa can't drink no more milk. Santa has a lactose intolerance, and it gives him horrible gas pains. Do you want to see Santa farting down everybody's chimney?

13. Lloyd: So, do you think we should go untie everybody?

Caroline: No. I think we should unwrap them in the morning. It'll be more festive.