Diaper Dealer

Why does my daughter seem to poop in her diaper every time we leave the house? I don’t get it. She has a nice leisurely morning at home to do her business, and nothing. But the second we leave to go somewhere – like to the grocery store, or preschool to pick up Eli – Boom! The eagle has landed! *sigh*

And it’s not just a little poop. It’s not as if she’d be happy to squeeze out a couple of pellets and call it good. Oh no! When we are in public, the more people there are around us, the bigger and smellier the poopy becomes. It’s like it’s a personal quest for Georgia to try and outdo herself each time.

Knowing this fact, you would be amazed at the number of times I forget to bring a diaper with me.

Last week, we were at Gymboree. Sure enough, we were there for about 10 minutes when the smell began. I didn’t even have to lean down to sniff Georgia’s butt to notice where it was coming from.

I had run out of diapers in my humongo purse/diaper bag the day before because I had to change Georgia’s stinky pants when she let one loose in the middle of Super Target, so I forgot to put more diapers in my purse when I got home.

So, I was trying to figure out how to deal with this. My first thought was to ignore it. Maybe no one else would get close enough to Georgia or everyone would be cursed with severe hay fever and wouldn’t be able to smell. It quickly became clear that plan was not going to work.

I finally laughed and said, “Of course Georgia decides to poop as soon as we leave the house, and I forgot a diaper.” Well, apparently the smell was worse than I thought because the other moms were tripping over themselves shoving diapers at me so I could go and change her.

Okay, here’s the other thing. I am frugal. Since, Georgia is petite, she is still in size 3 diapers. She could wear a size 4, but I think it’s silly to move up to the more expensive next size when she can still wear a size 3. The little girl who loaned us the diaper was several months younger (and quite smaller) than Georgia and was wearing a size 4. WTF?!

And, they pulled out a Pampers Swaddler. Dude! I buy the cheapest possible diapers I can that don’t leak (Luvs). That’s right, we tried everything down to Wal-Mart generic, but Luvs is the cheapest you can get before the diaper starts leaking. Do you know how expensive Pampers Swaddlers are?

Hell, I am counting the days until Georgia is potty trained and I won’t have to buy diapers for the first time in six years. And there are other moms out there who are so joyfully amidst the poo that they are swaddling their children in expensive diapers the size of bath towels. I don't get it.