Yeow! Hot Wax!

I was getting my hair done the other night when my stylist and I got on the subject of waxing. I was pleased to say that I have never had anything waxed. My stylist was astonished. “Surely you’ve had your eyebrows waxed!” Nope.

This led to a very intense study of my eyebrows. Okay, my eyebrows are so damn light you can barely see them, so why would I want to wax the damn things. As a solution, she offered to color them at no additional charge. That peaked my interest. Color my eyebrows? I have never heard of such a thing! Plus, I love to color my hair. Eyebrows just opens up a whole new arena!

Of course, my stylist then told me if I color them, I had to wax them. Dude! I don’t want anything waxed! Plus, she charges $15 for that. No way! So, she offered to do that for free, too. Did someone say “free” again? I can never turn that down.

So there I was, leaning back with my eyes closed, getting hot wax smeared on my lids, trying to figure out exactly how that happened. I was also vividly remembering that scene in 40-Year-Old Virgin. You know the scene I’m talking about!

I asked if this was going to hurt. My stylist said, “Oh no, it doesn’t hurt at” Riiiip “all.”

YOW! Mother F*ck!! Um, YES IT DOES!

Okay, that was not a fun experience. Not to mention, I have sensitive skin. You all may have noticed how fair my skin is. It didn’t take well to this newfound trauma. My stylist said there was supposed to be redness. But when I looked in the mirror when she was done, my eyes were puffing up like I was just in a bar fight. I said, “Ummm, are they supposed to swell up like this?”

She said, “There’s usually not any swelling.” Then she looked at me. “Omigod, you’re swelling!”

Uh-huh.

Well, at least it was free. When I got home, I put frozen peas on my eyes until the swelling went down. I can definitely say that my eyebrows were more noticeable. I’m not quite sure if it’s because they’re darker, because half of them are gone, or because the redness and swelling make them stand out. Either way, I don’t know that I’ll be doing that again.