The Hair Response

Every eight weeks, I head to the salon and shell out an arm and a leg to get my hair done. It is the one extravagance I have for myself. I rarely buy clothes, I only get pedicures if I have a gift certificate, but I do like to get my hair done.

Just once I would like to go to the salon without the precursor of my husband asking questions like, “How much is it again?” Grrrr. . . I have curly hair. A cut and a highlight for my hair is a bit more complicated than whipping out the clippers and giving him his 10-minute cut. I truly don’t think he appreciates the difference. Does he seriously think I would sit in a chair for an hour processing with tin foil in my hair if I didn’t think it was worth it? Does he think I’m just trying to see if I can pick up satellite signals? Hmph.

Not only that, but I would like to come home to slightly more than a lackluster response. Whenever my mom comes home from the salon, my dad always responds, “What’s the matter? Couldn’t you get in?” This is my father’s sense of humor. Eric thought that was just hilarious, and started using that line until he apparently became tired of me hitting him.

Tonight when I got home, Eli met me at the door, staring at my hair, which will only look cute tonight because I can never get it to look the same as my hairdresser. I asked him, “Do you like mommy’s hair?” He said, “Yes. It looks beautiful!” Now, that is the right answer!!

Then, I went and stood between my husband and the TV. He looked at me and said, “Yeah.” I said, “Well, what do you think? Don’t you like it?” He said – are you ready? – “Eh. I guess.” Insert loud, audible sigh from me. Then he said, “Well, what do you want me to say?”

I said, “I WANT you to say, ‘Ohmygod! You look soooo hot! You have sex kitten hair!” He paused for about two seconds and then burst out laughing. He laughed so hard that he woke up Georgia who had just gone to bed.

He’ll be lucky if I don’t shave his head tonight while he sleeps.

Just for the record, this is a self-portrait taken about 30 seconds ago. See? Cute hair – just ignore the tired bags under my eyes and the fact that today’s make-up has worn off.