The Superior Valentine

Tuesday was supposed to be Eli’s Valentine’s Party at preschool, and I was ready to do it up! Last year, when we got his Valentines for the preschool party, I wanted to get candy to put with them. Eric said, “No. The last thing the kids need is more candy. I’m sure everyone else will just be passing out regular Valentines.”

Well, apparently, things have changed since 1979. Back then (oh jeez – I’m old enough to say “back then”), you chose your Muppets valentines down at Gibson’s, signed your name and passed them out at school. So that is what we did with Eli.

They do it differently now. Valentines mean candy . . . and lots of it! When Eli brought home his little paper sack last year full of all of his Valentines, it was full of candy. Some had little Valentines taped to candy, and some didn’t even bother with Valentines and just wrote their names on the candy wrapper. Have you seen this? The Valentine candy now actually has "To:" and "From:" on the wrapper.

As you can imagine, I was mortally embarrassed as we were Eli was the only one who just passed out regular Valentines with no candy.

This year, I was not about to let that happen again. Not only was I NOT going to repeat last year’s Valentine’s debacle, but I felt the need to go above and beyond to make up for it. I bought cute little Valentine’s bags for each child, stuffed them full of candy bars and suckers, then taped the Valentines of Eli’s choosing (Backyardigans) to the sack. They were cute and full of sugar. Perfect.

We got them all ready on Monday night, and then went to bed. We woke up Tuesday morning to six inches of snow. School was cancelled. Are you f*cking kidding me?! It’s amazing that steam could still come out of my ears when it was only 2 degrees outside. I was not happy.

Eli goes to preschool on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Since we didn’t have school on Tuesday, the party would be rescheduled for Wednesday – when he’s NOT there! Yes, he can bring his Valentines on Thursday, but that’s not the point. I don’t want him to miss the party! I He worked hard on those damn Valentines.

Not only that, but the school was also having a mothers’ appreciation day on Tuesday. After we dropped the kids off, we were supposed to go to the community room and enjoy free cookies and coffee. I want my free cookies!!

So, I am planning to take Eli to school on Wednesday anyway, which is not his scheduled day. What are they going to do? Send us home? I would like to see them try. Eric thinks I am taking this a little too seriously. Me? Take something too seriously? Never!