No! And you can't make me!

Eli has been bugging us lately to go to McDonald’s. Usually when I go to McDonald’s, I find it much more convenient to hit the drive-thru. Eli couldn’t care less about the food. He likes to go in so he can play in the germ-filled McDonald’s playland.

Friday night, Eric seemed to think it would be a good idea to take the kids there. I still don’t know what he was smoking. He didn’t quite understand why I didn’t want to take the children to McDonald’s playland. Until shortly after we arrived.

I never like to take the kids there because they won’t eat. I told both of them before we went in to McDonald’s that they had to eat before they played. Eli sat down and began to shove in food. Georgia ran over to the play area and started to kick off her shoes. When Eric went to get her to tell her she had to eat first, she began to scream. *insert an ‘I told you so’ right here*

After we sat her back down and forced her to eat a few apple dippers, the kids were ready to play. Now, have you all seen the McDonald’s playland and exactly how high that thing goes? A bunch of narrow tubes and slides lead children to little alcoves that are very high and extremely difficult for an adult to get to. This is not usually a problem until Georgia climbed clear up to the top and made it very clear that she wasn’t coming down.

We left her up there until we were almost ready to go, the whole time trying to come up with a plan, and sending Eli up to try to get her. I kept pointing to the slide and telling Georgia to come down. She would scream, “NOOOOO!” and swat at Eli anytime he came near her. Some of the other parents in McDonald’s sent their children up to get her as well. I couldn’t hear what Georgia said to them, but I did see her vigorous head-shaking. All the kids would come back down and say, “She’s not coming down!”

After awhile, it became clear that the only way we were going to get Georgia down is if one of us went up to get her . . . and it sure as hell wasn’t going to be me. On one hand, it was Eric’s idea to take the kids to McDonald’s, and on the other hand, I was damn sure that I was not going to fit up that narrow tube to the top of the playland area.

Eric went over to the narrow tube, that clearly was not designed for a grown man, and began to shimmy upward. The other moms were getting a big kick out of this and when Eric’s head popped out at the top of the tube, they squealed, “OH! There he is! Everybody wave at him!” I was laughing hysterically. Eric was not amused.

In addition, Georgia was backing as far away from her Dad as she could screaming, “Nooooo!” Finally, Eric managed to hook an arm around her and drag her out. After a few moments of worrying they might get stuck in the slide, out they came at the bottom. While Eric was unwedging himself, Georgia scrambled off his lap and started running to go back up the tube. I managed to snatch her before she hit the entrance. Then Eric, Georgia and I walked out of the play area amidst the applause of the rest of the patrons.

That’s right! It’s not every day that you get a round of applause from the people at McDonald’s. We put the kids’ shoes on and got them out of there as quickly as possible. I think I can safely say that it will be a long time before we go back to McDonald’s.