Okay, I’m getting my mommy lies messed up. I really need to make a list of all the things my mom told me when I was a kid, but unfortunately I don’t remember all of her little quips until presented with the situation and then they come flying out of my mouth.
For example, if I catch Eli eating brown sugar, I automatically say, “That will give you worms.” before I can even stop myself.
Today, Eli was complaining that the tip of his tongue hurt. Without hesitation I said, “That means you told a lie.” Why the hell do I do this? Because of my mom!!
Eli gasped and clutched his mouth. “NO, I DIDN’T!”
I said, “Well, your Nanny always told me that if I had a sore on my tongue it was because I told a lie.”
So Eli ran to the bathroom to look at his tongue. Sure enough, there was a tiny sore on the end of it.
He came back in and said, “Well, I do have a sore on my tongue, but I haven’t been lying.” Then he lifted up his pant legs and said, “See? My knees aren’t black.”
That one took me a second. Then I smiled and said, “No, honey. Your knees turn black if you drink too much coffee. You get a sore on your tongue if you tell a lie.”
He just said, “Oh.”
I seriously need to stop this.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Black Knees and Canker Sores
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7 comments:
OMG. I find myself saying stuff my mom used to say to me, and I always think to myself, "WhyTF did I say that?!"
My mom used to tell me if I crossed my eyes, they'd freeze like that. Oh, and my grandma said a sore on the tongue meant you had been peeing in the middle of the road. There's one for you.
So, what you are saying is you turned into your mom? This had me laughing out loud. What a great story, You know you could write a great book just about the funny things that happen in your household. Heck, I'd buy it for the laughs. Have a great weekend. :)
Bwwaaahhhh that is too funny.
This was hilarious.
I've never heard of "if your tongue hurts" you've told a lie.
You crack me up.
thanks for today's chuckle. I actually tolk my brother that eating green beans would give him curly hair. Wasn't that breadcrusts instead?
I know just what you mean!
My mom used to tell me things like if I used my thumb to push my food onto my fork that whatever food I pushed would eventually grow out of my thumb. Or if the sun was shining and rain was falling "the devil is beating his wife". I know. Weird, right?
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