Where exactly is my sanity?

Today was one of those days when I wondered every minute, “Why are my children so crazy?!” It started this morning when we went to the grocery store. Georgia was looking at the crane game as I got a shopping cart right next to her. All of a sudden, she turns and runs from me and starts climbing in the cart of some strange man. WTF?! I said, “Georgia, what are you doing?!”

She just replied, “I want in that one cart!” *sigh*

Things only went down hill from there. We came home, and our goal today was to make a Valentine’s cake. Of course, the children want to do everything themselves. It took all my energy just to keep Georgia from burying her face in the flour, and to keep Eli from throwing the eggs in the bowl, shell and all. (You have no idea how long it takes to get all that damn egg shell out of the batter!)

In between all of this, I was attempting to make a few phone calls. First, I had to call the doctor’s office. I turned Noggin on for the children. They were quiet. Yet the second I had someone on the other end of the phone, Georgia emitted a blood-curdling scream. God only knows what Eli did to her. But Georgia didn't just scream once. She kept screaming. Loudly. And she chased me around the house while screaming . . . while I was on the phone, and unable to get away from her.

Of course she calmed down as soon as I hung up. But when I tried to call the accountant at my doctor’s office to contest a bill (that’s a whole ‘nother story), she started the exact same “mommy’s-on-the-phone-I-better-f*cking-scream” scream. Dude!

After I finally gave up making phone calls, I found Georgia over by my laptop with the cord in her mouth. What the hell?

And to top it all off, Eli just ended the day by swinging a big sound tube above his head and knocking off a crystal angel I had on my mantel. It shattered into about a zillion pieces. And it took every ounce of willpower I had not to beat him senseless. Yay for self-control. I certainly hope tomorrow is better.