Manic Monday - Crisp

This week’s Manic Monday word is Crisp. As with most words, my thoughts seem to gravitate to either movies or food. Since I don’t think I could write a very long post on Crispin Glover (McFly!!), I’m going with food on this one.

As I’ve mentioned before, I have to sign up to take treats to preschool every so often. Maybe I’m too competitive, but I want to be the mom who brings the “good” treats. I seem to do a lot of different kinds of muffins (pumpkin chocolate chip being my favorite so far), and a lot of different kinds of Rice Krispy treats.

Rice Krispy Treats are the easiest things to make, and there are so many variations, that I can make them every month for Eli’s class, and they’re always different. Luckily, Eli’s teacher has mentioned that Rice Krispy treats are her favorite thing ever, so she absolutely LOVES me!!

1. My first variations are to cover them with chocolate. Very simple. Melt a bag of chocolate chips, spread over the top of your treats and refrigerate.

2. The most popular variation by far are M&M’s. You can make your treats festive for any occasion with properly chosen M&M’s. Just add in a cup to your treats before spreading in the pan – orange and black for Halloween, red and green for Christmas, red and pink for Valentine’s Day, pastel for Easter. Festive Rice Krispy treats for the whole year!

3. Next up, if you’re a fan of peanut butter, add that in for peanut butter Rice Krispy treats. These are super good topped with chocolate.

4. Cereal variations are key. Besides plain Rice Krispies, you can also use Cocoa Pebbles and Fruity Pebbles to make awesome treats!! You can use many cereals – Cheerios, Golden Grahams, etc. – but the rice cereals are my favorites.

5. One of my new favorites are chocolate rice cakes.

These are super easy and Yum-o!! Melt milk chocolate (a candy bar or bag of milk chocolate chips will do), add Rice Krispies and mix with your hands until it’s a very thick consistency. Spoon into cupcake liners. Refrigerate until set. Then you have individual chocolate rice cakes.

Okay, I have just made myself hungry. I think I’m going to go make those right now!

Out until Sunday

Hey all! I am out of town until Sunday. We are in Hutchinson for the Kansas State Fair, so gear up for pictures, because I always manage to get a few good shots of goats, cows and other various farm animals. Oh yeah, and the kids!

Tonight, my mother-in-law took me to a Bunko game with her friends. I had fun, and there wasn't even alcohol involved. Imagine that!

Saturday, we are attending Eric's cousin's wedding. I'm hoping for free beer.

More when I return. Have a great weekend!

13 Different Things I Like To Eat

1. Mayonnaise on my French fries – I hear this is popular in Europe, but here, people just look at me weird.

2. Mushrooms stuffed with cream cheese - The ‘Shrooms at Houlihans are awesome!

3. Sweet potato chips (unsalted) and Sweet potato fries – hard to find, but very tasty!

4. Blueberry coffee – It’s easy to find blueberry tea, but blueberry coffee is much trickier!

5. Fried Green Tomatoes

6. Chicken salad with craisins and walnuts – great if you’re on the South Beach Diet.

7. Honey roasted sunflower seeds - Also hard to find. I can only find them at Whole Foods.

8. Peanut Butter Cookie Crisp – Regular Cookie Crisp was my favorite until I tasted the peanut butter!

9. Escargot – Yeah, I know – snails. But, Yum-o!

10. Fried pickles (preferably dipped in Ranch)

11. Potato chips on my sandwiches

12. Fried Snickers (on a stick) – Gotta love fair food!

13. Milk Duds in my Popcorn - My movie treat! It's the sweet/salty combination that I love!

Wordless Wednesday - Night Cap

(Brief explanation: Yes, my son sleeps with underwear on his head - he says it keeps his head warm so he can think better! And yeah, his nails are polished, too.)

Never Forget

None of us will ever forget that horrible day six years ago when our world changed forever. I remember breaking down as I saw the firefighters running into the towers. My father was a firefighter for almost 30 years, so I know what it's like to watch your father run into a burning building to save others.

This tribute is for the 343 heroes who went into those buildings that day and gave their lives.

F is for Frustrated

Since Eli is now “pre-k”, I am really starting to work with him on his letters and numbers to get him ready for school. I really thought it would be easy. He knows all of his letters and all of his lower case letters. He knows how to spell his name, and lots of other words (like Starbucks), but when it comes to phonetics . . . this is not going to be as easy as I thought.

Let me tell you the exercise we were working on. There were four letters on the page A-B-C-D, and four pictures - astronaut, boat, cow, duck. Eli was supposed to draw a line from the picture to the letter it begins with. Easy enough, right? Wrong.

I went over several times the sounds that each letter makes, and then I would say “A-a-astronaut. What letter does that start with?” This is the conversation that followed.

Eli: I don’t know. C?
Me: No. C makes a “k” sound. Is there a “k” sound in astronaut.
Eli: I don’t know.

*grrrrrrr* I decided to try it the other way.

Me: Okay, let’s try the B. B makes a “buh” sound. What word starts with a “buh” sound?
Eli: Ummmmm . . . duck?
Me: Eli, sound it out. Du-du-duck. Does duck have a “buh” sound?
Eli: Ummmmm . . . yeah.
Me: Eli! Duck starts with a “duh” sound. Which word starts with a “buh” sound?
Eli: So it’s not duck?

AAAAAA!!!!! I know I don’t have a lot of patience, but this just might kill me.

Manic Monday - Clue

Miss Scarlet in the Conservatory with a Candlestick!



This week’s Manic Monday word is Clue! This is such a great one because guess what my favorite board game is? You guessed it! I have loved Clue since I was a little kid – before I even knew what the heck a Conservatory was. I have many a family member who was very tired of me forcing them to play Clue. Luckily, my friend Stacey likes it as much as I do, so we had some great Clue games, even as we got older. FYI, it also works as a drinking game!

I have had several editions of Clue over the years, and it amazes me how many different versions of the game there are. These are a few you can buy:

• Classic Clue Board Game
• Clue - DVD Edition
• Clue - Library Edition
• Simpsons Clue
• Disney's Haunted Mansion Clue
• Clue - The Computer Game
• Clue Card Game
• Clue Jr.
• Clue Mysteries
• Clue Suspects

I have also had some Clue jigsaw puzzles, but those are extremely anti-climactic. Once you spend all the time putting the puzzle together, it takes you about five seconds to figure out the murderer. Never quite worth it.

I also fondly remember the Clue movie. I was so excited for it to come out. Clue is such a good premise that I think they could have done so much more with it than they actually did. However, I did love the 3-way ending! Do you all remember this? They shot three different endings for the movie and showed different endings in different theatres. If you get the DVD, it contains all three endings. In fact, it has been so many years since I have seen this movie, I think I am going to add it to my Netflix queue right now!

Eli's Favorite YouTube Video

Ever since our theme park experience in Branson, my son has been addicted to roller coasters. He loved riding the big roller coaster so much, and now all he can talk about is roller coasters.

This week, I went to pick him up on the second day of preschool, and the first pictures they had painted were hung up in the hall. Other kids drew a bug, or the zoo, or a picture of their family. Eli drew a picture of the Mamba roller coaster at Worlds of Fun, complete with musical notes because it plays music.

The other day we found some roller coaster videos on YouTube for him to watch. This one is his favorite. It features the four big roller coasters at Worlds of Fun (an amusement park here in KC), and it is set to music - Blink 182's "Roller Coaster", and Sugar Ray's "Answer The Phone". He has watched this video over and over and over and over again.

He has watched it so many times that he is now walking around singing the songs. I'm not quite sure how to react when my 5-year-old starts singing, "I want to get you alone so we can do it again, do it again."

I suppose as long as he thinks he's talking about roller coasters, it's okay . . . right?

Anyway, since I have watched this video a zillion times this week, I felt the need to share it with you all. Enjoy!

E is for Exhausted

Eli started back to preschool this week. He has to be there by 9:00 am, and after a summer of sleeping in, this whole getting up early thing is kicking my ass. Eric looked at my bank transactions yesterday. He read aloud, “Starbucks, It’s A Grind, Scooters, Starbucks . . . are you thinking if you mix it up, I won’t notice how much you’re spending on coffee?”

Dude! There has not been enough coffee to keep me awake this week. We were drugging Eli giving Eli Melatonin a few months ago (per his doctor’s suggestion) to get him to sleep. We stopped it after he had been on it long enough to “develop a sleeping habit.” Yeah, what the f*ck ever! A week later, Eli was back to his 11:30 bed time.

Since preschool started on Tuesday, we tried desperately to get Eli into bed Monday night. It was a killer. We started trying at 8:30, and he kept getting up and getting up until 11:30. That puts me in bed after midnight, and I have to get up before 7:00 to try to drag him out of bed. And a struggle it is.

I start by gently trying to wake him up. No response. So, I sit on his bed and give him tons of kisses. Then he starts swatting in my general direction, but doesn’t open his eyes. Then I start the singing, and then comes the tickling. When he does finally open his eyes, I usually get one of the following responses: “Fifteen more minutes!” or “MAMA! GO AWAY!” or “I am NOT going to school!”

Sometimes I’m quick enough that I can actually get him dressed before he even wakes up. On those mornings, I refer to myself as Quick Draw Mommy. If I can manage to shove a bowl of oatmeal down him, and get Georgia up, dressed and fed, and out the door by 8:30 . . . well, dammit, then I deserve a freaking latte.

I don’t know what I am going to do next year when he starts kindergarten and we have to be there by 8:00 a.m. Oh, I am going to be so screwed.

13 Best TV Opening Credits

I have compiled a list of my favorite TV intros. Now, keep in mind this does not mean TV theme songs. These are some of the shows I think have the best overall opening credits, based on originality. I have linked all to a YouTube video so you can see them. So, here we go. These are my picks in countdown form!

13. CSI – I love the song, but it’s the special effects that make the opening credits super cool.

12. Green Acres – This is a classic. Who doesn’t enjoy seeing Eva Gabor in her designer farm clothes?

11. Pinky and the Brain – This has got to be one of my favorite cartoons ever! Two lab mice trying to take over the world. Priceless! One is a genius, the other’s insane . . .

10. Get Smart – Another classic. Maxwell Smart was never a super smooth agent. But he was smooth every week in the opening credits.

9. The Muppet Show – I loved it when I was six years old, and I still love it today.

8. Weeds – This Showtime comedy has a great opening song “Little Boxes” which is even cooler because it is sung each week in a different style by a different person. I think last week, it was in Spanish.

7. All in the Family – A classic song that was made wonderful when sung by Jean Stapleton and the late great Carroll O’Connor!

6. That 70’s Show – This show is one of the all-time great comedies, and the opening theme is awesome. Love the singing in the car.

5. Queer as Folk – This opening is amazing because it is not only sexy, but it is very sweet, and gets a message across . . . in 48 seconds!

4. The Cosby Show – The Cosby Show did a lot of cool intros over the years, but this one is my favorite. (Pay no attention to the fact that it’s in a different language.)

3. The Simpsons – This may actually be the best opening to any TV show ever. It made number 3 on my list because . . . hey, it’s my list! If you don’t watch the Simpsons, it’s important to know that what Bart writes on the chalk board and the couch “scene” at the end are different in every episode.

2. Everybody Loves Raymond – This isn’t even a theme song, but it is seriously one of my favorite openings EVER!

1. Drew Carey – My absolute favorite has to be The Drew Carey Show. I love Drew Carey, and he did a great opening with Cleveland Rocks, which is a favorite for a lot of people. But my favorite is the opening to Five O’Clock World. The dancing in this is more than impressive! Watch below!

Wordless Wednesday

Just for the record, these are NOT my children.
I certainly don't envy the mom who had to scrub that marker off!

Oh Joy!!

Oh, yippee yay! One of my greatest pleasures in life consists of finding new yummy coffee places to frequent. I am happy once again!

It’s A Grind just opened a franchise in town. Apparently, they are very big out west, but this is the first one we have around here. Now, it is about 60 blocks from our house, but that is not too far to go for yummy coffee for me, a yummy mango slushy for Eric, and blended non-coffee mochas for the kids. Not to mention the best freaking cookies EVER!!

It’s A Grind gets two snaps up from me!!

Halloween (2007) – a review

I went on Friday with my friend Amy to see the new Halloween remake. Oh, I was so excited! I love scary movies, and the original Halloween is my all-time favorite. I had high hopes for this one. I had read several craptastic reviews, but there were a few good ones out there.

Amy and I got there 45 minutes early to get popcorn and milk duds and stake out the best seats. Then the movie began. The first half hour follows 10-year-old Michael Myers and gives you a glimpse into his disturbed childhood. I really liked this set-up. It doesn’t actually explain why Michael turned out how he did, but it shows you a very disturbed child, and follows his descent into complete insanity.

Now, I am not a big fan of gore. I love the first Halloween for the scares. The new one being a Rob Zombie film – well, this one definitely contained much more than the implied violence of the first one.

I did like that this movie made you care about the characters more than your normal slasher flick. I truly felt a sense of dread when Michael went after Laurie’s adopted parents. Plus, this movie added a whole new level since you actually cared about Michael Myers.

However, I did have a few problems with it. Like how did Michael Myers acquire super-human strength while doing nothing but sit in a mental institution for 17 years? And how the hell did he figure out who adopted his baby sister? And how is it that someone can empty a clip into his chest at close range and not even slow him down?

Aside from those questions, I still liked it. I will say that I think you have to be a fan of the Halloween series to appreciate it. Anyone going in cold, just wanting a slasher flick probably won’t appreciate the whole character study aspect of the movie.

Is it is as good as the original? Well, heck no! The original is a classic. But this one was thought-provoking, and definitely provided a few good scares. In fact, there were two instances when Amy and I were practically in each other’s laps. Then again, the guy who played Michael Myers was 6’8”. If you play that creepy-ass music, and a 6’8” guy in a Michael Myer’s mask is coming at me, I will pretty much defecate in my pants right there.

Just a sidenote – one of our scariest moments came after the movie. In the movie Michael had such long hair that hung in front of his face, so when he did take off his mask, you couldn’t see his face.

Well, when the movie was over, Amy and I stayed for the closing credits. When we stood up to leave, there was only one person left in the theatre. A big guy with really long hair was sitting in the row in front of us. He was staring straight ahead and he looked really creepy. We high-tailed it out of there as fast as we could. Amy and I chatted in the parking lot for a little bit, and when I got in my car, my phone rang. Amy said, “He is right behind you!” I looked in my rearview mirror, and sure enough, the Michael Myers look-alike was parked right behind me, and was getting into his car.

Dude! That is sooooo not cool!!! Needless to say, I have slept with my bedroom door locked and my nightlight on the last two nights!!

Manic Monday - Labor

In honor of Labor Day, this week’s Manic Monday word is Labor! I may be stretching it a little bit in today’s post, but I really wanted to share the following story.

I know I have shared with you all before the labor-intensive task of cutting the children’s hair. I finally gave up with Eli. It was way too difficult to make his hair look somewhat normal when he was curled into a ball with his hands over his head like a tornado drill, screaming, “It hurts!”

I finally decided it was worth it to shell out the $16 to take him into Shear Madness and have them deal with it. Of course when a stranger cuts his hair, he is a perfect angel. How sweet of him to save the insanity for mom!

Unfortunately, I’m still under the delusion that I can cut Georgia’s hair myself. . . No, really, I haven’t been smoking the crackpipe. I just had a momentary lapse in judgment. I was only planning to cut her bangs, so how hard could it actually be?

Well, I spent days building up my nerve energy that I was going to need for the labor of cutting my two-year-old’s hair. I sat her on the vanity in the bathroom, gave her toys, and let her play in the sink while I trimmed away. I was actually pleased. With a minimal amount of wiggling, her bangs only turned out slightly crooked and just a little too short. Yay me!

It wasn’t until later in the day that this would come back to haunt me. Georgia was sitting by the coffee table working on some crafts. We have a couple of pairs of the little kid scissors with the rounded edges that the kids work with. You wouldn’t think those damn things would be sharp enough to cut hair!

I was working on my laptop, and Georgia climbed on my lap and came at my head with a pair of scissors. Luckily, I caught her little hand before she did any damage, but it was obvious at that point that our hair-cutting experience had made an impression.

Now, I have posted many pictures of my daughter, and you all know we usually put a ponytail on top of her head because we are growing out the unfortunate bang incident that happened last year when I attempted to cut her hair. It was finally getting to a decent length, too!

Then Eric went to take down her ponytail so we could get her ready for bed. When he took the rubberband out of her hair, half of her ponytail came out with it. I just heard a gasp from Eric and he said, “I think she cut her hair!”

Oh yeah she did! Apparently she used those craft scissors on herself before she turned them on me. And apparently, she attempted to cut off her ponytail. I couldn’t even speak at that point. It was more of a strangled moan that came out of my mouth. Eric was pouring me a glass of wine before I could even think of anything to say, God bless him.

And Georgia? Well, I still haven’t figured out what to do about her hair. I need to take her into the salon because Eric’s only order request was “Don’t try to fix it yourself!” And I refuse to cut her hair short. That brings back traumatic memories of the Dorothy Hamill cut I had when I was five. I still remember the countless children who asked if I was a boy or a girl.

One thing is for sure. I am throwing all of the scissors away!!

You Like Me! You Really Like Me!!

I have received some awards in the past week, and I have fallen way way behind on people to thank. I don’t mean to put it off on purpose, it’s just that accepting compliments is something I’m not necessarily good at.

First up, I would like to thank Sandee from Comedy Plus! Sandee makes me smile every day with her hysterically funny blog, and she has been kind enough to award me with the Blogging Star Award, the I Love Your Blog Award, and the You Make Me Smile Award! Sandee, you rock beyond belief!!
Bridget at And Miles To Go . . . has awarded me with a Blogging Star Award, too! I am constantly in awe of Bridget. I really don’t know how she has time to raise five beautiful children, and cook, and blog. I have decided that she must not sleep! (BTW, I have tried about three of her recipes so far, and she is an AWESOME cook!)

And last but not least, my bestest buddy Morgen at It’s A Blog Eat Blog World and The Mo Show, awarded me the You Make Me Smile Award. Morgen you know I love you! You were my first friend in the blogosphere, and you are one great man!

You all humble me, dear blog friends. With my crazy kids, I don’t always have times to leave comments on everyone’s blog, but I am still here, and I’m always visiting. You all mean more to me than I can say!

Finally

Today was the first time I realized it was getting close to Fall. Why? Because we walked into Starbucks this morning, and Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back!!!!! Oh yeah, baby!! My favorite Fall drink! Woo hoo!!

I was so happy that I didn’t even mind that my children were chasing each other around the store. That is until I calmed them down with chocolate milk and cookies. I know, I know, more sugar. But it worked at the time.

Here’s a picture of Georgia enjoying her Starbucks drink. Like mother, like daughter.

Then we came home, and I forced Eric to sit down and join Netflix. Yippee skippy!! Eric wasn’t too happy when he quickly realized that I had found a new obsession. In only a few moments, I had about 30 movies in my queue. I also added friends, such as Morgen and Sadie, and had fun looking at all the movies on their lists. If anyone else is a Netflix member, let me know so I can add you as a friend and judge you by the movies you like to watch.

Tomorrow, I am off to the actual theatre to go see Halloween (the remake)! I can’t wait. I’m sure it will scare me so much that I won’t be able to sleep for days. I don’t know why I do this to myself, but I am such a huge fan of the Halloween series, and Michael Myers is so scary that he literally makes me want to pee my pants.

I will write up a review this weekend after I see it. If you haven’t watched the trailer yet, you can check it out below. Freaking scary!

13 Things I Learned At The Zoo

We took the kids to the Omaha zoo last weekend, and while we had a great time, it was definitely an experience!

1. My children are not nearly as impressed by giant gorillas as I am.

2. Lots of flying bats scare the bejeezus out of me.

3. Georgia must be carried up all hills or she screams.

4. I still don’t like snakes . . . even when they’re behind glass.

5. When you buy a drink at the zoo, they don’t have lids or straws. In this situation, the drink lasts about 10 seconds before getting dumped on the pavement.

6. Eli will beg to ride the train and then cover his ears the whole time and complain because the 'toot' is too loud.

7. Ostriches scare me more than bats.

8. The one animal your child wants to see will find a place to hide when you finally get to its cage.

9. Georgia thinks flamingos, peakcocks and macaws are all ‘chickens’.

10. The zoo charges more for hot dogs than the movie theatre. And that’s saying something!

11. Eli wanted to wait by every animal’s cage until they defecated because he thought that was the coolest thing ever.

12. Every animal environment or cage we walked past was considered a ‘lagoon’ by Eli – The monkey lagoon, alligator lagoon, tiger lagoon, gorilla lagoon, etc.

13. Georgia likes to meow loudly at tigers, leopards, cheetahs and bobcats.

Wordless Wednesday - Bath Time!

Made in China

Don't forget to tune into The Mo Show on Wednesday night for this week's topic - Made in China. I know I will be tuning in, especially since recently I think someone is trying to kill us with lead paint on Dora toys!

Catch The Mo Show on Blog Talk Radio from 7:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. EST (6:00 central)!

Priorities

Dude! I totally forgot to put a Linky box on my Manic Monday post yesterday. I am making up for that by including some Linky Lurve on today’s post. Enjoy!

On to priorites. Last week, Eric and I took the kids out for a quick lunch at Chic-Fil-A. I love that place. I don’t know what it is about their sandwiches, but they are yum-o! I remember craving them when I was pregnant with Eli, except they didn’t have a Chic-Fil-A here at that time so we had to drive an hour to get my chicken sandwiches. I remember those times fondly. Eric – not so much. He can also relate stories of how I sent him out in a raging ice storm for Long John Silvers. Good times . . .

But I digress. Last week, we were doing our usual “lunch with kids” thing, in which we attempted to shove down food, Eli ran around like someone spiked his chocolate milk with crack, and Georgia was trying to see if she could scream loud enough to shatter glass.

When we got out to the car, I realized that I had forgotten to pick up some brownies. (Chic-Fil-A has awesome brownies!) I told Eric I was going to run back in while he was putting the kids in the car. When I opened the door to the restaurant, I was busy looking back at the kids and not paying attention. The corner of the door scraped over the top of my foot, and sliced my large toe open. (You can thank me now for not including pictures in this post. Eric can’t look at the cut without getting the heebie-jeebies.)

I bit my lip so I wouldn’t scream “MOTHER F*CK!” out loud, and hobbled on into the restaurant to pick up my brownies. I still hadn’t looked down at this point, so I hadn’t viewed the damage. I quickly purchased my brownies, and turned to leave. That’s when I looked down. I had on a pair of sandals, and my toe was bleeding so much that the entire front half of my sandal was soaked with blood. Oh crap.

I went out to the car and said, “I think I have a slight problem.” Eric looked down and gave a horrific gasp. He wanted to take me to the hospital for stitches. I hate hospitals, and the thought of getting stitches in my toe just sounded too painful for words, so I had him take me home.

I was busy cleaning my toe and getting it all bandaged up, when Eric came into the bathroom, shaking his head. When I asked what was wrong, he said, “I just can’t believe after you almost cut your toe off that you STILL went in to buy brownies.”

I just looked at him and said, “Well, it’s important to have priorities.”

Linky Lurve!

Manic Monday - Faith

This week’s Manic Monday word is Faith. I always try to go with the first thing that comes to mind, and this week, it was easy. You all know I’m a child of the 80’s. And from my past blog entries, most of you have probably read about my one-time lust for George Michael when I was around 16.

Yes, I know – gay, gay, gay. But in the mid-80’s, that aspect was still questionable. Besides, who cares?! It’s all about the ass, people. Liquid ass!!

So, here are some fun facts about George Michael’s album – Faith.
** Faith was George Michael’s first solo album, released in October 1987.
** George Michael wrote and produced every track on the album.
** The album produced six Top 5 hits, four of which reached number one – Faith, Father Figure, One More Try and Monkey.
** The album spent 51 weeks in the Billboard Top 10, including 12 weeks at #1.
** Listed among Rolling Stone’s 500 Greatest Albums of All-Time.

A Titanic Disaster

By Saturday, everyone was completely exhausted. The only thing we had planned on Saturday was to visit the Titanic exhibit before heading home.

Oh sweet Jesus, I would never do that with the kids again. They HATED it. I have always been interested in the Titanic, and it’s always cool to see the artifacts. Plus, they had an iceberg you could touch, and lots of cool things. I thought there would be enough to keep the kids interested. I was very, very wrong. We were there for a bout 90 minutes, and Georgia screamed the entire time. We could not calm her down. She was just tired and bored and ready to leave.

Unfortunately, once you go in, it’s like a maze. You have to go through all the rooms to get out. You can’t just turn around and leave. There were so many people behind us and in front of us, that we couldn’t have sped up if we had wanted to. So, I missed a lot of the exhibits because I was busy singing Wheels on the Bus and Edelweiss. But even that wasn’t helping. There were several times when Georgia had thrown herself on the floor screaming, that I just wanted to go and hide somewhere.

Even Eli was bored to death, and Eric had to hold him the whole time. I think between the two of us, we managed to see and read about 30 percent of the exhibits. We will have to go back and do that again without kids. I was just happy we were able to get out of there without mentally snapping and smacking the kids senseless.

After that, we got a quick lunch and headed home. We had planned to stop in Springfield because they have a “castle” that we wanted to take Eli to visit. He really wanted to see a castle, but we quickly decided that we couldn’t handle another tour with the mood Georgia was in. We stopped in front of the castle, and I jumped out and took a picture. It didn’t go over very well with Eli anyway. Apparently, Pythian Castle didn’t look like a castle to him. He was pissed when we drove up.

“Mama, that is NOT a castle! It’s just a building.” *sigh* (Check out my TT for a picture of the "castle".)

Then, we just drove home without stopping and made it back Saturday night. We were all tired and very glad to be home. But we all had a great time, overall. Eric has already suggested that we go back to Branson next year. We’ll see.

The Track & Celebration City

Eric was very excited on Friday because he wanted to go to The Track in Branson. The Track is very cool – they have go carts, miniature golf, and lots of rides for kids. We went to the Kids’ Track first because there were a lot of little rides for the kids, and I felt bad that Georgia couldn’t ride very much at Silver Dollar City.

She could ride a few more rides at The Track, but the only thing she really wanted to ride was the train. She LOVES trains. Every time she sees or hears one, she shouts “CHOO CHOO TRAIN!” Well, at The Track, you had to be 36 inches to ride on the children’s train! I was pissed. She could ride on the kids’ ferris wheel, but not on the kids’ train. Grrrrrr!!! Once again, I tried to sneak her on, but those people are sticklers. Georgia was pissed the entire time we were at The Track. She kept screaming, and heading back to the train. I felt horrible!

She did ride some of the other things. They had children’s swings, which she liked, little elephants (which looked a lot more dangerous than the train, but whatever), and a children’s ferris wheel – little cages that spun around. She rode that with Eli, but she didn’t like it, and screamed every time she saw mama. After that, we waited while Eli drove the go carts (he LOVED that), and then we went to play miniature golf.

They weren’t that busy, so miniature golf went pretty well. The kids hit the balls around like it’s hockey, while you would think mommy and daddy were at the US Open trying to beat each other. Just for the record, mommy won by one point. Woo hoo!!

We decided to leave The Track early with a promise to Eric to go back. He desperately wanted to do the go carts for the big kids, but Georgia was way too restless. We went back to the hotel to rest for awhile. Then I really wanted to go to the winery. They have Stone Hill Winery in Branson, which offers tours. Eric and I toured the winery many years ago BK (before kids), and I wanted to go again. Eli took one look at the building, and said he wasn’t going in. So Eric and the kids waited in the car while I went in and stocked up on wine.

Then, Eli wanted spaghetti so we went to the Pasta House, which was really yummy. After that, we were off to Celebration City.

Celebration City is a theme park that has the feel of a carnival. I wasn’t crazy about going there since Georgia can’t ride anything she wants to, but we actually had a great time . . . with a few little hiccups. Celebration City has a 1950’s theme, so there are a lot of malt shops and 50’s music. It’s pretty cool.

They even have a big arcade, which I find very dangerous. Eric and Eli spent a ton of quarters on ski ball, while I was obsessed with trying to win a Care Bear at the crane game. Does anyone ever win at the crane game?

After that, we went to see the Sea Lion show. We only had to wait 10 minutes for it to start, but it seemed like forever with Georgia (aka Little Miss Impatient). She does not like to wait, so Eric took her behind the bleachers so people at least couldn’t see where the screaming was coming from. She was a little better when the Sea Lion show started, but I don’t think it was her favorite attraction.

Next, we hit the rides. We rode the carosuel, and hit all the kids rides that were open. Of course, the train was closed – there must have been forces working against us. Then Eli wanted to ride the big rides. We all rode the ferris wheel together, which is my favorite. Then, Eli and daddy rode the Tilt-a-whirl and Scrambler, and Eli was able to talk daddy into going on a big roller coaster – the Jack Rabbit. (That just seemed wrong to me, but I digress.) Eric’s not a big roller coaster fan, but Eli loved it. It took Eric a few minutes afterward to rid him of his lovely shade of green.

After that, I declared no more rides because I was unable to contain Georgia. She was so pissed that she couldn’t go on the roller coaster that she threw herself on the ground screaming. When she got up, she forgot she was on her leash, and tried to run from me, screaming while waving her arms in the air. I would have found it comical had I not been so frustrated with her.

Instead, we decided to do miniature golf. Eric wanted a rematch. Well, it was about the worst round of miniature golf ever, mainly because there were waaay too many people. The kids are usually on the hole behind us or in front of us. When it’s crowded, they actually have to stay with us, and this didn’t go over very well. Georgia seriously spent the entire 18 holes crying and trying to get away from us. At one point, she took off running over some rocks, and I tried to catch her. I tripped and fell and gashed my leg open, and lost my ball. My patience was very thin after that.

Plus, toward the end of our game it started raining. At that point, the people behind us just got tired of waiting and quit their game around the 15th or 16th hole. But despite all of that, I still won! HA!

Luckily, it stopped raining in time for fireworks on the great lawn. I really thought the kids would enjoy the fireworks, but Eli sat there with his hands over his ears, and Georgia held on to me for dear life. At one point, I tried to adjust my glasses, but when I moved my arm from around her, she grabbed me and screamed “NO NO NO!” The fireworks seemed to completely terrify her.

After scaring the kids to death, we called it a day and went back to the hotel. We had to gear up for Saturday, and the trip home.

13 Photos I Took On Vacation

1. The kids riding the children's ferris wheel at The Track. This is the only shot I got before Georgia burst into tears and wanted off.

2. Eli touling around The Track on a Go Cart. He LOVED it!!

3. Eli and Georgia enjoying The Bumblebees at Celebration City.

4. Eli and Georgia riding The Flying Carpet at Celebration City.

5. Daddy and the kids at The Fish and Wildlife Museum in Springfield.

6. Eli and Georgia jumped up on the podium at the Wildlife Museum.

7. A great shot I took at The Butterfly Palace in Branson.

8. Eli "driving" the boat when we rode the ducks in Branson.

9. Eli and Georgia in front of a candy shop at Silver Dollar City.

10. Daddy and the kids riding the caterpillars at Silver Dollar City.

11. Mommy and the kids riding the carousel at Silver Dollar City.

12. Daddy and the kids riding the children's teacups at The Track. (Georgia was too little to ride the teacups at Silver Dollar City. Grrrr!)

13. The castle that wasn't. Pythian Castle in Springfield. Eli was so excited we were going to see a castle. When we drove up, he was pissed. "That's not a castle! It's just a building." We didn't go in, but I did jump out and snap a picture.

Silver Dollar City

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On Thursday morning, we had our waffle breakfast and daily Starbucks. Eric booked the hotel in Branson just for me because it had a Starbucks right there in the hotel. Have I mentioned how much I love my husband? That day, we got Eli a pomegranate smoothie, and we were all heading back through the lobby with our drinks when Georgia started throwing a fit.

We had to walk past the pool area every time we went to Starbucks. Every time Georgia saw the pool, she sat down and started taking off her shoes. So, every time we went to Starbucks, we could count on her throwing a tantrum. On Thursday, we were rushing through the lobby with the screaming girl, when Eli tripped and his smoothie went everywhere in the lobby. Eric hustled the kids out of there, while I apologized profusely. The employee went to get a mop while eyeing me sourly. I was fully convinced after that, that they had pictures of our family up at the front desk.

Then, we got ready for Silver Dollar City. Silver Dollar City is the big theme park in Branson, and that was our destination for Thursday. Their theme is that you are stepping back into the 1800’s, so it’s kind of cool. But I felt really bad for their employees since it was 102 degrees on Thursday, and they were all in long sleeves and long dresses. And sadly, 102 was the coolest it had been all week!

We stopped first and watched the guys blow glass, which is very cool if you’ve never seen it. Then we made our way back to the rides. I quickly discovered that Eli is a little daredevil. He wanted to ride everything. He was upset that he wasn’t tall enough to ride the big roller coasters. Eric was very thankful since he is the one that has to go on the rides with Eli.

They did ride the small roller coaster, and the big swings. Then we went off to the kids section so Georgia could ride something. This is when things started to get complicated. To ride most of the kids’ rides, you have to be either 36 inches, or ride with someone. Georgia is 34 inches. Not. Cool. Do you know what that means? That means I had to squeeze my ass in the back of a bouncing frog. I’ll tell you right now, those rides are not made for those of us with large bottoms.

I just rode the frogs and the carosuel. Eric rode the caterpillars. Both kids really wanted to ride the teacups, but get this – you couldn’t ride them at all if you were under 36 inches. I tried to sneak Georgia on. I picked her up while we were in line, so hopefully they wouldn’t notice how short she was. No such luck. As we were walking toward our teacup, I was stopped and forced to measure her. They kicked us off. Gaaaa! I felt horrible. Georgia was screaming because she wanted to ride the teacups so bad.

After that, we decided to get the kids some snacks. I had already spent about $20 on beverages since it was so hot. We needed someplace cool to sit down. We stopped at an ice cream parlor and loaded up on ice cream before moving on.

Georgia was very happy that next we got to ride the big train. Of course, I would just prefer a train ride, but at Silver Dollar City, they ride you out into the middle of the woods where the train is “robbed.” Dude! They really need to get some better actors!

Unfortunately, the day was not without injury. Eli had climbed up on some rocks to get a better look at a waterfall, and fell off, cutting the heck out of his arm. So, Eli and Mommy got to locate the first aid station at Silver Dollar City, which was very cool. They have their own little emergency clinic with EMTs tucked right behind the fudge shop.

After that, we stopped to get souvenirs. I decided against spending a lot of money on blown glass earrings, and opted for a coffee mug instead. Eli got a glittery snowglobe, and a big pretzel.

We finally made our way out of the park after spending the entire day there. We had to go back to the hotel so I could switch shoes because I was nursing a blister after 7 hours at Silver Dollar City. Then we headed to the Rib Crib so mommy could get ribs and a beer.

I think Thursday officially wore everyone out. While we were eating at the Rib Crib, Eli put his head down on the table and immediately fell asleep there in the middle of the restaurant. He caught the attention of everyone. It was a very nice change for people to be staring at us because we have the sweet sleeping child and not the loud screaming child.

We went back and put everyone to bed. We had to rest up for more activities on Friday.

Wordless Wednesday - A Good Read

Vacation - Day 2 (Wednesday)

Wednesday was definitely looking up. The kids enjoyed staying at the hotel and swimming in the pool. And for some reason, the waffle maker at the hotel is a big attraction for breakfast. Are you all familiar with the hotel waffle makers? They seem to be the norm around here. The kids love the waffles, but it always ends with Georgia covered head to toe in syrup.

After we got her cleaned up, we moved on to our next activity, which was Butterfly Palace in Branson. Everyone loved Butterfly Palace. There are butterflies from all over the world flying around freely. It was very cool. I was also very pleased to find some cool shirts for the kids there. Eli’s has bugs all over it, and glows in the dark. For Georgia, I found a butterfly pin with her name on it. I snatched that up! I never see her name on anything! Or Eli’ for that matter. They always have Elijah on those damn My Name mugs, but not Eli. But, I digress.

Next up, we were ready to Ride The Ducks! The “ducks” are big boats/tour buses. They take you for a tour all over Branson, and then you go out on the lake in the bus/boat. It was fun. Eli wasn’t all that impressed until we splashed into the lake. Then all of a sudden, he was having fun. He even got to “drive” the boat. They also gave us all “quackers” which got annoying very quickly. The quacker fairy came Wednesday night, and the next day the kids couldn’t seem to find their quackers. Hmmm, I wonder how that happened. . .

After the ducks, I called Springfield to make sure our car was going to be ready. So, we headed back to Springfield to pick up the car (with a working AC – yippee!!) and drop off the rental. After that, we hit Bass Pro, and stopped for Chinese food. Springfield is famous for their cashew chicken so we have to stop for Chinese food every time we go through Springfield, Missouri. Some of those Chinese women don’t take kindly to Georgia running around. After she basically covered herself in rice, she ran around the restaurant shedding rice everywhere she went, and a Chinese woman was chasing her with a broom. It was quite comical.

Then, we headed back to Branson for swimming at the hotel. We were very pleased to discover that there was a Cold Stone Creamery only a block from our hotel, so we walked down there, and loaded up on Cake Batter ice cream, and Mud Slide Mojo. Yum-o! Then it was off to bed because Thursday was the big day – Silver Dollar City.

A Bad Start

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I’m back! Let me tell you, it was a full week down in Branson. I was going to write a blog about my vacation, but I have so much to pack in, so I decided to do a week's worth of vacation blogs. Be sure to tune in each day this week for our vacation adventures with the kids!

We left on Tuesday, and I think we may have had the worst first day of vacation ever. About 1 ½ hours away from home, the air conditioner in our car stopped working. I looked at Eric and said, “It’s blowing hot air. This is not good.” It was 106 degrees on Tuesday.

We decided to locate the nearest Honda dealership, which isn’t that easy to do when you are in the midst of small towns in Southwest Missouri. We finally ended up at the Honda dealership in Springfield. We found out that my compressor went out, and that I would need a whole new air conditioning system. Apparently, a whole new air conditioning system cost $2500. Thank God, I had purchased the extended warranty, so I was only going to have to pay $50. That was the one blessing.

Unfortunately, they had to order parts, so my car wasn’t going to be ready until the next afternoon. They called Enterprise for us, and we had to move all of our stuff into a rental car, and we were finally out of the dealership by 4:00 p.m. Now, we had had a lot of things we were planning to do on Tuesday afternoon, and spending the day at the Honda dealership was not one of them.

We did manage to go to the Fish and Wildlife Museum in Springfield before it closed for the day, and then headed to Lambert’s (home of the throwed rolls) for dinner. In theory, I thought that would be a good place for kids, but Georgia was having way too much fun crawling around on the floor taking bites out of rolls that people had failed to catch.

When we got back to the hotel, the heat of the day finally caught up to Eric. Apparently riding two hours in 106 degree heat did not sit well with him, and he spent the night throwing up.

Luckily, our vacation got better after that.

Manic Monday - Deal

This week's Manic Monday word is deal. When I heard that word, I immediately thought of cards. I love card games and card tricks. I found one of my favorite card tricks on YouTube, so here you go. Enjoy my version of the word "deal."

On Vacation

We are off to Branson for a few days to wear the kids out at the theme parks and other various attractions. This means that yes, we are taking a vacation for the first time in three years. Our first vacation with Georgia. We will be back this weekend.

This also means that for the first time in over a year, I am taking a blogging break. That's right, no computer. . . okay that's not entirely true. I'm taking my laptop so I can check my email. If I went four days without checking my email, I might start hyperventilating. But no blogging. No Web editing. Nothing but spending quality time with my family. Oh God.

Manic Monday - Drop

This week’s Manic Monday word is Drop. Be sure to check out It’s A Blog Eat Blog World – the Manic Monday HQ – for more information on how to participate.

As I mentioned before, last week was Eli’s British Soccer Camp. First, I would just like to point out that Eli is the one who asked to play soccer. We really didn’t enroll him in it just for the torture.

It soon became obvious that soccer was not Eli’s forte. Usually he would stand off to the side and swing his arms back and forth. Occasionally he would run in the general direction of the other children.

But sometimes he would just sit down in the middle of the field.

(Sidenote: These pics were taken on "dress your coach up wacky" day.)

Some of the other children did not take well to this. The ages of the children in the group were 4-6, and I was surprised at how competitive some of them were already. A few minutes later, the man sitting next to me about broke my ear drum while screaming at his daughter from the sideline because she wasn’t playing to his satisfaction. That explains sooo much.

But I digress. At one point, I thought there was going to be mutiny on the team because Eli just flat out refused to kick the ball. Coach Simon even tried to get Eli to throw the ball in from out of bounds. He would just hold the ball, and refused to drop it.

One girl on the team in particular really pissed me off. This little girl’s name was Patience. She went up to Eli and started calling him a baby and told him he had on a baby watch and then she pushed him. That got me out of my seat.

Luckily, Coach Simon broke them up pretty quickly because Eli started pushing back. And me? Well, I was ready to run out on the soccer field and drop kick the little bitch. I looked at Eric and said, “Did you hear what that little bitch said to Eli?” Eric looked completely alarmed and gave me the loud whisper, “Be quiet! Her mother is right over there.”

“Oh yeah?” I said. “Good! I hope she hears me. She needs to teach that little bitch some manners.” That’s about the point when Eric walked away from me. I calmed down for a little while. Then Patience started up again. Grrrrr.

After the game was over, Eli told me he didn’t like Patience because she was mean. I probably didn’t give the most appropriate response. I said, “Well, honey, I wouldn’t worry about it because Patience is a little bitch, and she’s probably so stupid that she’ll never pass kindergarten.” Eric just shook his head.

So, someone please give me some advice. Obviously, I am very sensitive to any sort of bullying, and Eli hasn’t even started school yet. What is the correct way to deal with the situation when all I want to do is drop kick an evil child or bitch slap her mother?

(Now, just for fun I have to throw in a photo of the flag that Eric and I Eli spent so much time working on. Eli was on Team Italy.)

Saturday Photo Hunters - Row

The final day of soccer was yesterday (thank God), and here is a picture of Eli' soccer team all lined up in a row. Eli is the third one from the left. He's looking down. I took four damn pictures, and he wasn't looking at the camera in one of them. So, I chose this photo because it is the best one of hot, sweaty, British coach Simon! Tune in on Monday as I blog more about our soccer experience.

Georgia - The Brute

Since Eli has been at soccer this week, I have been taking Georgia to Gymboree by herself. Usually we go to family Gymboree, so she has become very good at elbowing her way through the older children to get what she wants. This week has been the first time that she has been in classes with children who are all her own age.

Dude! It is NOT going well. Georgia gets really pissed off if other kids are near her. On Tuesday, there was a little girl who for some reason wanted to follow Georgia around and play. Georgia kept turning to the girl and getting right in her face, screaming “GO AWAY!”

Yesterday, it was no better. Another little girl had the balls to attempt to play on the same slide as Georgia. She didn’t like that at all. Luckily, I was close enough to Georgia to catch her hand is as it came up to smack the other girl.

Okay, on one hand, it’s not cool that she’s hitting (well, almost hitting). On the other hand, don’t you wish you could just haul off and smack someone when they piss you off without any other repercussions than for someone to say, “No No!”

Today, we did Gymboree one more time. Georgia found a giant plastic yellow egg that she wanted to carry around. I don’t know why she set her sights on that damn thing, but she was not letting it go. Occasionally, she would hide it in a tunnel to go down a slide, and then she would immediately come back to get it. If any other kid got within three yards of her, she would let out a shrill scream (her warning of attack). I was very glad to see Gymboree end for today.

As I’m sitting here, Georgia just ran into the room with a Lego box on her head and yelled, “I’m a cowboy! Yee-haw!” and then ran out of the room.

I think I’m tired. Things are starting to get very surreal.

My 13 All-Time Favorite Sitcoms

After The Mo Show, Morgen’s Blog Talk Radio Show, last night, I thought this would be a great idea for a Thursday Thirteen. The only problem is that I had one hell of a time trying to narrow it down.

1. Mary Tyler Moore – My fave episode: When Sue Ann finally got Mr. Grant in her bedroom.

2. I Love Lucy – My fave: Vitameatavegimen!

3. Dick Van Dyke Show – My fave: Alan Brady wears a wig!

4. Brady Bunch – My fave: When the girls dare the boys to sleep in the haunted attic.

5. The Bob Newhart Show – My fave: When Bob and some of his “patients” got drunk and ordered Chinese food. (Aside: Bob’s other show Newhart had the BEST sitcom finale ever!)

6. Happy Days – My fave: When Joanie almost left home to join a band.

7. Three’s Company – My fave: The episode where there's a big misunderstanding!

8. The Cosby Show – My fave: When the whole family put on a lip sync performance for the grandparents’ anniversary.

9. Seinfeld – My fave: Are you the master of your domain?!

10. Cheers – My fave: When Woody made up the “Kelly Kelly Kelly” song.

11. Frasier – My fave: When Frasier, Niles and the gang attempted to do the old-time murder mystery radio show.

12. Murphy Brown – My fave: When Corky got married and became Corky Sherwood-Forest.

13. Family Ties – The quiz show episode where Alex got stage fright and Mallory ended up answering all the questions.

Others that almost made the list:

• Growing Pains
• Friends
• Welcome Back, Kotter
• Mork & Mindy
• The Wonder Years
• The Facts of Life
• Bewitched
• Wings
• Laverne & Shirley
• The Jeffersons

Wordless Wednesday - My son

The Mo Show - Classic Sitcoms

Don't forget to tune in to The Mo Show this week on Blog Talk Radio! Morgen has a new day and time.

Wednesday, 7:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. EST.

This week's topic is classic sitcoms. I can't wait for this one. I grew up with those great 70's and 80's sitcoms, so this should be a lot of fun!

A few of my favorite sitcoms?

• Mary Tyler Moore
• Happy Days
• Three's Company
• The Cosby Show
• Cheers
• Family Ties
• Growing Pains
• Silver Spoons
• My Two Dads
  

Okay, I'll stop now. I could get really obscure, but I don't want to freak anybody out. What's your favorite classic sitcom?

Soccer Mom

First of all, it is two-post Tuesday! Scroll down to my next post for a really fun link!

Okay, I am, once again, a soccer mom. At least for right now. Unfortunately, my son (who is wonderful at so many things) sucks horribly at soccer. Today, Eli’s British Soccer Camp started. Luckily, I get excited by little things. I was just happy when I showed up, and saw that this year his coach at British Soccer Camp is actually British. Woo hoo! Either that, or he does a really good accent.

Eric is off this week, and he is the one taking Eli to soccer. Georgia and I came in a separate car. I thought we could stay until she went crazy. We were there about three minutes. The second she spotted Eli on the field, she screamed, “EEEEELLLIIIIIII!!!!!” and started sprinting toward him. Eric tackled her and drug her back to me. She was kicking and screaming loudly, very pissed off that she couldn’t go play with her brother.

Georgia and I left to run errands. When the boys got home, Eric waited until Eli was out of the room and said, “You are going to have to take him. I don’t think I can watch him every day. It is just too painful.”

I didn’t think it could possibly be that bad. I was wrong. Apparently, Eli wouldn’t kick the ball or throw the ball. He stood there looking bored, and at one point he actually laid down on the soccer field. When he did get up, it seems that he pulled down a low hanging tree branch and began hitting the other kids in the head.

*Sigh*

Eli’s the one that actually wanted to take soccer again this summer. I am now wondering exactly why. Luckily, it just lasts one week. After we muddle through it, we plan to try something different for the fall. Eli has expressed interest in hockey, and I thought he might like basketball. I am determined to find something that he likes other than decapitating the other children with a tree branch.

Simpsonize Me!

I found an awesome Web site today. You can upload a picture of yourself and see what you would look like if you were Simpsonized. What do you think?

Try it out for yourself. It’s lots of fun, and a great way to avoid working!

Manic Monday - Lie

This week’s Manic Monday word is Lie. There were several ways I could go on this one. Sandee at Comedy Plus tagged me for 10 Lies My Mother Told Me. I’m not quite sure if I will be able to do that one because my mother reads my blog, and errr . . . well, you can see my issue.

Then I started thinking of lies I have told my own children, many of which I got from my mother. Hmmm . . . Are some lies okay to tell your children? You tell me.

1. Brown sugar will give you worms. When I was little, I used to eat plain brown sugar. I loved it. So my mom told me that it would give me worms. I’m not sure I completely understood what that meant at the time, but it worked. I found myself spouting the same lie to Eli the other day when he was spooning brown sugar into his mouth.

2. The gypsies will come and get you. Okay, I’m going to hell for this one. I have a friend who said that when she was being really bad as a child, her mother would tell her that gypsies come and take away bad girls and boys. I thought that sounded horrible. Then came the day Eli pushed me over the edge, and I found myself spewing, “You better shape up or the gypsies will come and get you!” He’s still afraid of gypsies.

3. Coffee will turn your knees black. – This is another gem that I got from my mom (or was it my dad?). Anyway, Eli always tries to drink my coffee, so I told him this same thing. He gave me a bored stare and said, “Then how come your knees aren’t black?” I didn’t know how to answer that one.

Those are a couple off the top of my head. Now, Eli is picking up on the lying. Luckily, he is so bad at it that I know when he’s lying. I get things like “Mama! Georgia broke my DVD player.” I tell him that is not possible since Georgia has been napping for the last two hours. He says, “Well, she did it before she went to sleep.” Uh huh.

Poor little Georgia is the scapegoat for most everything these days. If I ask, “Eli, who ate all the fruit roll-ups?” Without hesitation, he responds, “Georgia did!” even though it is impossible for her to reach the child lock on the pantry.

Lately, however, Eli has expanded the blame. “Mama! All of daddy’s quarters are missing from the dresser, but I didn’t take them.” I said, “Really? Then where did they go?” He says with astonishment, “They vanished!” I asked him what really happened to the quarters (keep in mind the pockets of his jeans were jangling through this entire conversation). Then he says, “Well, daddy took all of his quarters to work.”

When I said we would call daddy and check, Eli looked alarmed. “NO!” Then I asked if he was going to tell me the truth about what happened with the quarters. He sheepishly said, “Okaaaaay.” So, I waited.

He looked at me and without missing a beat, he said, “Georgia took them!”

Gazing

First of all, I have to say how much I loved my blog yesterday. I think that’s the first time I visited my own blog countless times in one day! And just for the record, I can tell from the number of outgoing clicks, that more people clicked “The Link” than are letting on. It’s nice to know you all are as perverted as I am!

Today, I thought I would share something that I learned last month at a Passion Party. I know, I know. My blog tends to be a mixture of child comedy and adult situations. But that pretty much describes my life, doesn’t it?

Anyway, I learned a little tidbit of information last month. I had heard previous rumors that there was a specific subdivision in town where many swingers seem to live. Now, I’m not naïve. I know there are swingers out there, but I didn’t think they had their own ZIP code! Apparently, I was wrong.

Last month, I met a woman who was a guest at a party who lived at “the subdivision.” Apparently, the subdivision is called Lion’s Gate, and it attracts people of the swinging persuasion. Dude! How do they know?! It’s not like you go to the real estate Web site and it says, “a lovely house is available with 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, and in the heart of the metro’s swinging district.”

Apparently, the party guest was unaware she and her family had chosen a home in Swinger Central when they bought it, but she was informed by her neighbors after she moved in.

Okay, now this is my favorite part. You know those gazing balls that people put in their yards? Apparently in Lion’s Gate, if you swing, you put a gazing ball in your yard, and that is how the other swingers know you are “one of them”! When I heard this, I gave my very dignified response of “NUH-UH!” But seriously, that is what they do!

I came home from my party and woke Eric up to tell him what I had learned! I told him we need to drive over to Lion’s Gate and a cruise around looking for gazing balls. I’m not sure why. I guess I just want to see how many there are.

I have to tell you, this has made me really nervous about the next time we decide to move. With my luck, I would unknowingly move my family into Swinger Central. Then after moving in, I would notice how so many of the other neighbors have gazing balls. Wanting to fit in, I would probably run out and buy one, and then wonder why weird married couple next door keeps hitting on me.

Dude! I am going to have be soooo careful next time I go house hunting!